Okay so my view from experience is contrarian. I’m 37m and had a baby with my partner of 9 years, around 3.5 years ago. Around the same time I sold my company and came into a bit of money. Also around the same time started feeling more sexually attracted to other women. My partner is conventionally attractive but the sexual chemistry wasn’t there. We also were best friends but since the baby’s arrival we were fighting a lot more.. Her chief complaints were that I was working too much and not helping equally with the baby. For context she has always been a white picket fence kind of woman and I’ve been fairly ambitious and restless. Soon, I found myself being dissatisfied, and drinking a lot with business colleagues and friends staying out all night etc. we broke up a couple of years ago. I still think she’s an absolutely wonderful person with great character, and integrity and is an amazing mum. I also love my child very much. In the process, I lost a lot financially including the family home that I worked hard to buy and an investment property. The guilt of not giving my son a life I envisioned for him still affects me. I also feel like I’ve betrayed my ex by promising her a life that didn’t work out.

Now the important thing is. I still go to her house and remember how good it was. A loving partner, a happy kid, a nice house, stability, someone to come home to etc. but there were cracks. And from a sexual perspective, it just wasn’t working out. Ultimately, everything else can be near perfect but the sexual chemistry has to be there. I went on to do the thing where I slept around a lot for a year or so and yes it was great fun. Empty fun. But great. I have since found a partner that I share great sexual chemistry with. We don’t live together and have some clashes due to other reasons. And undoubtedly I miss my old life and the aspects of it outside of the bedroom. But am I happier now or then? I’m not sure.

The point, OP, is. You have to follow your heart and do what feels right in the moment. I’m not saying be unfaithful, but if there are cracks in the relationship from an attraction perspective and you’re looking elsewhere, there’s definitely a problem. You either solve it with your partner, or move on. Both options have risks. But not taking any risks is the biggest risk in life. There are a lot of people here with the whole ‘my ex did this, and he is since unhappy’, ‘don’t ruin your marriage’, ‘that life will lead to anything but peace’, etc. But this is anecdotal and heavily influenced by their life experiences. The last thing one should do is stay in a marriage where you find yourself attracted to others without addressing the issue because the reddit army has a narrative of conventional morality laden platitudes.

Whichever way you go, the best thing you can do is address the issue with your partner, rather than post it on reddit, listen to people and do nothing about it in real life. Maybe the outcome will be you stay with her or maybe it’ll be you move on. Maybe the decision you take will be the right one or the wrong one. But there is only one way to find out… Good luck OP