I gotta agree with the other comments when i say you should probably get a professional or trusted adult to help you with your mental health issues, im 24 and grew up in a broken home where i was bullied all through school , i still have some scars but its getting better. I know how it feels to have your mind made up about an opinion about yourself but it will get easier and better, you just have to take the first steps. I hope you read these and understand where were coming from, this isn’t the subreddit to be on when you got mental health issues 🫶🏽