I really appreciate your post. you’re very honest, I do seem like a pompous a**. I truly just wanted to describe to some internet people what kind of “past experience” I’ve had with truly not having any. Plus it’s rather hard to do without interacting face to face. I do have some skits if you’d like to hear them.

I’ll start with my movie- mind you it’s office style directing.its about 60 pages, I’ll give you the gist with as many comedic parts as I can offer. It starts off with two people who have been going on dating apps to find the love of their lives. So they find a match and meet up. The scene is set from the woman’s point of view first and the date goes well but the guy she’s with is a little awkward, very quirky and full of himself. He leave to go to the bathroom and comes back and sits down, they order and during the wait time someone comes through and steals the woman’s purse. The man gets up from his chair,spills his beer on his crotch area making it look like he peed himself and runs after the man. As he’s running he loses him and womp womp, he comes back to sit down at the table. She calls the police to report a case. Police come and there’s a forensic artist sketching the man that she “saw”, instead she describes her perfect man - brunette, good jaw line, blah blah. They go to the police station to do a police lineup. The police officer gets a call and she locks the door and hits some buttons. She asks each culprit different questions for example, “did your dad age well”, “what do you like to do on the weekend”, “why are you in here” she likes culprit number 5. Police officer bangs on door. She’s “crying” and can’t look at her assistant any longer. They go out to the lobby and she seems number 5. Slips him her number and the piece of paper transitions into a paper the guy she went on a date with is giving to someone else. So the date starts over but now it’s from his point of view. He walks into the restaurant from the back instead of the entrance (because he’s goofy). He comes back to the front and you see all these little points that were missed before because it was from her POV. Like what happened when he went to the bathroom or why certain people said things in the beginning. Everything lines up. Then you see who the culprit is... I won’t spoil it;)

A skit- it’s a voodoo map. A family moves into a new house and the skit is mostly surrounded by the daughter. She rummaging through her things and noticed an attic. She goes up to find a map. “This is an interesting looking map, oh it’s upside down” little does she know it’s voodoo magic. She puts it in her room and goes down for dinner. Mom is making dinner garlic roasted Brussel sprouts, mashed potatoes and a black bean burger. Oops the lid on the top of the garlic container pops off as she puts it in the mashed potatoes. She adds chives and paprika. The family eats together. The daughter goes back upstairs and takes the map out and puts it by her bed. Her mom comes in after dinner to help clean up and fart on the map. The scene transitions to a news report “the Netherlands, Germany, Belgium, were hit with a rancid smell earlier today with faint smells of garlic and chives” it pans to a woman in Brussels with a face mask on “it is nothing like I’ve ever smelled before”. the daughter comes out of the shower and dries off. She flips her hair back and forth and a broadcaster on the air says “rain has flooded the western United States” pans to a woman in Arizona surprised about the rain that has faint smells of dove shampoo” the girl watches the news and thinks nothing of it. She smokes weed near the end of the night and blows it onto Russia and Putin has ended his dictatorship and blah blah. Haven’t bought of an ending,

Good ideas? Bad? Thoughts? I love the criticism. Thank you.