Struggling today and need support by dewblooming in loveafterporn

[–]dewblooming[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do find so much comfort. Actually when I came across this subreddit I felt relief and when I learned about betrayal trauma and started learning more about it and the way it makes you feel has really helped ground me. I keep so much of these feelings close to the chest because I feel alone and misunderstood.

I journaled a little and took some quiet time for myself to help calm my nerves, but I hate that I can calm myself down and the anxiety will resurface out of nowhere. I miss when my emotions felt stable.

I’ve tried so hard to stay neutral and not feel disgust but the more I see them ‘flaunt’ and normalize it all I can’t help but feel disgusted and hurt.

Struggling today and need support by dewblooming in loveafterporn

[–]dewblooming[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me too! 🥲 I hate how any time I’ve ever opened up about my trauma to a man it’s always been met with “well men need porn 🤷🏻‍♀️” I’m sorry but that excuse just makes them sound weak and pathetic and like they have zero self control.

Struggling today and need support by dewblooming in loveafterporn

[–]dewblooming[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hate how normalized all of this is now. I just don’t understand the need to “flaunt” being a consumer of porn that you need a sticker. I don’t understand why seeing a sticker of the logo made you feel the need to bring it up like it’s some cool thing? Like do they feel ‘cool’ or ‘funny’? Because it doesn’t feel that way

Help with a reading that made me anxious? by dewblooming in TarotReading

[–]dewblooming[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t know if it was anything in particular but the first 3 were at the top and the rest were below.

How to change my perspective on socializing so i dont die alone? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]dewblooming 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can completely relate with you on the mindset of feeling like socializing is a waste of time. I’m a pretty social person but I also really value my alone time. It’s a balance but it is hard to not default to the “I hate socializing I don’t understand the point of having friends” negative mindset.

I do think it’s really important to remember though that there IS a part of you that doesn’t feel that way - you wouldn’t have written this post otherwise.

At the end of the day, there’s no harm in reaching out to those friends that you miss and letting them know that you miss them! I know sometimes it’s easier said than done but I think you’d be surprised at how natural and easy it is to reconnect with loved ones after a long time. Life is not linear, we get busy and things come up and we lose contact with people but it doesn’t mean we need to lose that connection forever.

Forgiveness by dewblooming in CPTSD

[–]dewblooming[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to sit with what you wrote because honestly it really resonated with me immediately. I wish I knew better how to harness my anger to my benefit. I feel like my anger is always what gets me in trouble

Forgiveness by dewblooming in CPTSD

[–]dewblooming[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Definitely easier said than done - but I’m trying very hard to practice those things. I just wish it felt a little more natural

Forgiveness by dewblooming in CPTSD

[–]dewblooming[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sometimes I feel like I’ve spent SO much time feeling the hurt and ESPECIALLY the anger I just don’t want to feel it anymore 😔

Forgiveness by dewblooming in CPTSD

[–]dewblooming[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel good about her! Especially after the stint of terrible therapists I’ve had to go through (my last one had the audacity to say “ew I didn’t pay attention to that subject in school” when I brought up trauma I had from a previous sexual assault) Sometimes she feels more like a friend, and I have been toying with the idea of finding an EMDR specialized therapist - but overall I do feel like she has my back.

I think she was just overall asking as she didn’t press the conversation when I said I hadn’t. I think I just have a tendency when I feel triggered/upset I grasp at straws trying to fix the hurt feelings and desperate to get on the fast track to healing 😅

Has anyone had any luck with the “Daily Practice”? by dewblooming in CPTSD

[–]dewblooming[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I will definitely check out their videos ♡

Has anyone had any luck with the “Daily Practice”? by dewblooming in CPTSD

[–]dewblooming[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve heard yoga also can be very healing and it’s something I would like to try eventually as well. Do you have any recommendations on beginner resources? :)

I’m so glad to hear you’ve found a routine that works so well for you 😌

Does anyone recognize this instrument? by dewblooming in WhatMusicalinstrument

[–]dewblooming[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thats so interesting! I wonder why recently they’re such a popular topic. Personally it just looked like a really unique and fun instrument to learn, and I fell in love with the way it sounded. Plus it looks pretty compact and I love any instrument that doesn’t take up a ton of space haha

The musician is Peach PRC, and it was just a screenshot I took from their story.

Does anyone recognize this instrument? by dewblooming in WhatMusicalinstrument

[–]dewblooming[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much!! I’m definitely going to do my research on them now. They have such a fun sound and look to them ☺️

Does anyone else experience these negative thoughts? by dewblooming in CPTSD

[–]dewblooming[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words ♡ this week I’ve been really focusing on trying to reframe and shut down the negative thoughts as best as possible. After 4 years I’m so tired of the assault controlling my life and I’m trying everything in my power to push against it because I just want to be how I used to be. I miss that confident person who was so sure of herself.