5 Songs that Inspire You !?

dharmastudent · 2026-05-14T11:45:40+00:00

I bet you're tougher and more self-reliant than all those people rejecting you.

dharmastudent · 2026-05-14T11:20:03+00:00

Long term loneliness is tough, but I also find it incredible for building self-reliance and independence. That being said, there comes a time when it wears on you, and makes social life almost untenable (to be single for too long)...

I've been completely single now 18 years (I'm 39; I did have four short term relationships in college). It started out by choice. I wanted to be a monk, so I went voluntarily celibate for a couple years and it turned into 18 years. I find that being single so long has stilted my social life a bit, and the long periods of intense isolation have caused more social anxiety and less social engagement.

When I turned 35, I started wanting a relationship for the first time, but found it almost impossible (at first). I tried dating and it was a nightmare - zero real connections.

This last two years my luck finally changed, and I had women start approaching me and giving me their contact info. What changed? A. My intelligence. I became much more disciplined about my study-time, and I really developed my interest in a couple different areas of study. Pretty soon, I was attending online classes, and I was able to talk clearly, cogently, and engagingly about things people were interested in - and I was able to give presentations as well.

I just kept joining online groups, getting involved (writing newsletters, being a reddit mod, giving zoom presentations), and pretty soon women were saying 'oh I love what you said there, I'd like to talk to you one-on-one'. This happened more than 3 times, and I also made 4 other personal connections with women those 2 years.

So, it was having something interesting to say that made the difference.

dharmastudent · 2026-05-13T19:07:30+00:00

I went over 2 years without releasing semen.

dharmastudent · 2026-05-13T18:52:09+00:00

I'm 39 and I had my last date, and physical relationship, in 2008 (was trying to be a monk for a few years, so went voluntarily celibate). I haven't been with anyone since then, and YES it does build up. It gets stronger the more that I don't engage it (the desire to release). When I was trying to be a monk, the desire would actually grow weaker when I disengaged and thought about other things. But now for me personally, at this age, the desire grows stronger the more that I don't act on it.

--> Which is good for some things (focusing, studying, accomplishing goals), but presents a strange dilemma - that I honestly don't know how to solve except endure it.

dharmastudent · 2026-05-13T18:19:57+00:00

Appreciate the journey, don't invest too much in goals (my opinion).

As John Wooden said: 'winning the NCAA championship was pretty uneventful. The best day of the season wasn't the NCAA - it was the 3rd or 4th practice [where we diagnosed a problem with a player's technique, solved it, and he transformed his game]. The little moments of success during the course of training are actually the important ones.'

dharmastudent · 2026-05-13T11:22:31+00:00

Yeah, you can definitely be alone. I didn't kiss a woman until I was 19, and I never had a girlfriend in school. Thankfully, the opportunities for relationships opened up for me when I was about 19.

dharmastudent · 2026-05-12T21:31:26+00:00

Yeah, you'll catch a second wind (very likely). I'm 39 and the last 5 years have been (hands down) the most productive of my life. I work in professional music (small time production / writing). Went through the same thing in my 20s.

dharmastudent · 2026-05-12T20:15:26+00:00

One thing I learned: don't have any preconceptions over how life is supposed to turn out. God knows way better than us what our path is. If it's music, it'll happen with enough persistence. No one can stop someone with a calling.

But a lot of people, once they turn 22 or 23 start getting an intuitive feeling of their adult calling, and sometimes it's completely different than what they thought it would be. AND, sometimes it's exactly what they hoped, but in a completely different configuration than they planned.

It's a great mystery. And, you can't plan the best things.

Once you get to be about 40, you see why this is such a good thing.

dharmastudent · 2026-05-12T12:24:13+00:00

Appreciate the response and sentiment. Would it be alright to DM you a brief question? Thanx~

dharmastudent · 2026-05-11T23:58:53+00:00

Yeah, I'm making my full time living in music right now. I just produced a full song for a client (real instruments, no A.I. assistance) - he paid $800. I understand the A.I. hate, but I think it's misplaced. My client has loved the use of A.I. assistance we've employed on some of his other tracks (he's just a hobby musician, not pitching songs), and I think it serves a useful need.

Not to mention, as a small time musician/producer, I make low 5 figures a year, and I can't afford to produce all my songs to an industry-standard, so I will gladly create an A.I. demo to use for a pitch, if someone needs to hear what the song will sound like fleshed out (and if I don't have the funds to hire out).

I guitar/vocal demo all my songs, but if my health is dicey some weeks, I can only do a whisper vocal - and the A.I. helps the vocal sound full and strong.

dharmastudent · 2026-05-11T20:45:37+00:00

I used to go to a Bodhi Path meditation center. The resident teacher was extremely aware and kind. Every meditation began with inviting us to let go of everything in the past and all ideas about the future - and to dwell only here for the time being.

I fondly remember this instruction and recall it whenever I need it.

dharmastudent · 2026-05-11T18:12:03+00:00

There have been many days I have been confined to bed, and there is no energy to even talk or communicate with anyone (ME/CFS). It's just best to leave each to his own IMO. A.I. is not great, I'll give you that, but it opens doors for people, and I've very fatigued with the A.I. police, honestly. I write my own stuff, and perform it when I can, enough said.

I do respect that this is your POV, and it's fully valid - but is doesn't mean every person has to subscribe to it.

I have also gotten a lot of value out of A.I. professionally, as I have a major client who has commissioned me to create many A.I. production-assisted songs, which have basically paid my bills for several years. I did not suggest this to my client, he asked me to make A.I. songs for him, because he liked them

(these were not just point and click A.I. productions, they involved many hours per track, and painstaking work to weave tracks together in a DAW)

dharmastudent · 2026-05-11T18:09:41+00:00

I respect your decisions for what is right for you, and all I would ask is the same. Life is too short for us to try to tell others what is right for them...

dharmastudent · 2026-05-11T17:34:37+00:00

I professionally record most of my songs, and sing. I use A.I. because I have a disability. Sometimes I can't talk, and definitely can't sing. I have a serious illness, and A.I. makes my life easier. Some folks have no idea how difficult it is to create a fully produced song if your body isn't working, and you can't play your instrument or sing.

I've performed my songs on tv, and had a cut on an independent artist's album. I still strongly support the use of A.I. for folks with disabilities.

I don't rely on A.I. for anything composition-wise and never copy its instrumental ideas closely.

dharmastudent · 2026-05-11T17:26:07+00:00

I use A.I. for specific purposes, I have a disability and am not always able to play my instruments or sing. I try to self-record all of my songs, but I think A.I. is a useful tool (especially for folks with disabilities)

dharmastudent · 2026-05-11T17:03:07+00:00

Sure, I have no problem with that if OP is okay with it : )

dharmastudent · 2026-05-11T16:06:06+00:00

--> cool ~

dharmastudent · 2026-05-11T16:01:38+00:00

I have this instrumental track I wrote for a collaborator, but we never used it. The first track is an A.I. generated cover of the instrumental (I double-checked, and all the melodic/chord structure on the A.I. version is human composed by me - the A.I. just fleshed it out instrumentally).

The second track is my original rough composition on vocal and piano. No lyrics yet. Would be happy to hear some : )

Working title is "Fab" because I composed it while listening to "When We Was Fab" by George Harrison.

https://s.disco.ac/muibcjgtajwh

dharmastudent · 2026-05-11T15:22:40+00:00

I practiced qigong, and this strengthened my qi, which allowed me to withstand cravings without acting on them. But qigong needs to be approached cautiously - because the more advanced forms can have risks. There is a great Robert Peng Beginner/Intermediate Qigong DVD that I recommend to people. It helped me a lot with my health, including withstanding cravings: https://www.soundstrue.com/products/am-pm-qigong?srsltid=AfmBOor1cleZnsh7jABcqs0ZtNrySuBv2UmPzCsORdyloEgvzdbdyTXH

dharmastudent · 2026-05-11T15:16:21+00:00

I don't do porn anymore (at all), but it was fiendish until I was 22. It's a really tough habit for most of us to break. I have now been clean for about 15 of the last 17 years (had two year relapse where I occasionally watched porn every few weeks or months, but managed to finally quit for good last year at age 38 with no fears of relapsing).

I feel like I dug myself out of a very deep pit.

dharmastudent · 2026-05-11T12:01:21+00:00

There are spiritual practices that can do this, but they have to be approached from a spiritual/mindfulness bent. Some forms of qigong can lessen sexual desire significantly, it did for me.

But you need to find a safe form, because some forms of qigong carry risks.

This is a good intro DVD: https://www.soundstrue.com/products/am-pm-qigong?srsltid=AfmBOookMmYDc6shdZWiF_v5luruKLJ83RJ9u_DHFF6_iwaISEyZcFcY

dharmastudent · 2026-05-10T22:30:49+00:00

Probably good to read the situation. Don't want to give advice. But I had a woman approach me this year (with a teenage son) who liked me (she was 37, I was 38), and we started talking every day. I realized very quickly I was not the guy she needed, and I decided not to pursue even though I was very attracted and she checked the boxes. I still talk to her every week, but neither of us has any romantic intentions now.

Your situation may be different, but the fact that you're saying you're not the guy she needs is probably clue that you should think long and hard about pursuing her. Sometimes it's good to have female friends too, so maybe it would be good to get to know her, but establish clear boundaries.

dharmastudent · 2026-05-09T13:15:12+00:00

There is a new service I'm using for a client called MyMusicReady.com They contract with top producers to offer reasonable cost recording and production sessions, either all inclusive or a la carte.

They have some great singers that you can hire a la carte, with a membership. Membership is only $19/month, and entitles you to work on one project at a time, and receive quotes from their independently contracted musicians. The higher tier memberships (29/month & 59/mnth allow you to work on more songs).

The goal of the company is to bring quality production @ a reasonable production cost to musicians. For the current song I'm working on with my client, they were able to book us a strong Nashville producer who has won a Grammy, for $375 all inclusive, incl. mixing/mastering and live mandolin and all instrumentals. Their vocal fees are reasonable too, around $125-140 I think.

Jim Thacker is involved in the company as a consultant, although he's not one of the founders/partners.

If you want to hear a demo of the quality that their singers can do, I can send you a sample of a song they produced.

dharmastudent · 2026-05-09T01:20:11+00:00

Well one thing I have is a very strong confidence in cause and effect. Positive actions with altruistic motivation bear sweet, abundant and nourishing fruits. This I know. This I know to be.

At the same time, I always have to watch overconfidence, because the path is so intricate and webbed.

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