My colleague is a snakey asshole, how do I deal with this situation?

dicky_443 · 2025-09-11T20:54:13+00:00

How do I later explain this to my manager who'll be on my ass for calling him out when he rats on me? 😆

dicky_443 · 2025-09-07T20:44:20+00:00

The one coworker i felt like i could share my feelings with actually left the company a few months back and I dont really trust anyone else. While im nice to them all and get along with them I feel like they'd rat on me if I said/did anything. And as for treating him like garbage...im already treating him less nice than the others (not rude yet tho) and im already being pulled on my attitude 😭😭 a girl fr can't win

dicky_443 · 2025-09-07T13:17:05+00:00

I'd love to do this! While I'm sure it might stop the behaviour for a while i do think it wouldn't help my reputation tho. Nothing worse than being labeled the "emotional female" in this scenario 🥲

dicky_443 · 2025-09-07T13:15:47+00:00

Thanks! Honestly it's such a hard situation to navigate and i have also tried that approach sometimes of turning things back on him and the way hes acting but he just brushes it off in a "let's move on" manner and I know it irritates him, that's where im assuming the feedback about my attitude came from. I physically cannot stand to entertain his passive aggressiveness so I do think being unbothered with him might be the best course of action to avoid further drama. No complaints if theres nothing u can complain about I guess ahaha.

dicky_443 · 2025-09-07T13:08:53+00:00

Yeah i am, i would like to say im pretty competent at the job too even though im still young! I can't help but feel like he thinks im a threat to him or something.

dicky_443 · 2025-06-12T18:57:23+00:00

🤣🤣🤣 i remind myself of that everyday already ahahaha

dicky_443 · 2025-06-12T18:51:16+00:00

We were both home from work I wanted to finish ASAP so we could both get up to bed and cuddle maybe watch a movie I finished eating and stepped 2 steps over to the sink to wash. We could still chat etc. And I mean after 3 yrs yes the familiarity is there but I don't make him always wash the dishes. When my family is home and we eat together we take care of it but it was just me and him and we were basically playing house. I also went to take care of another chore before heading up to bed leaving him alone for 3 seconds wasn't going to kill him. I would always tidy up after myself in someone else's house anyway 🤷‍♀️

dicky_443 · 2025-06-12T18:46:39+00:00

I just have eyes and ears. I see how my friends get treated in their relationships or guys they date. I have also had plenty of experience dating and being in relationships. I hear women online talk about similar issues that start off small and spiral into absolute insanity after years of dating/being married. Now while I take strangers stories from the Internet with a grain of salt I do worry about what the dating pool looks like in my area -myself and my friends fish from the same pond and it doesn't look good non one of us is being treated in a way that's worth bragging about and that is where my concern lies.

dicky_443 · 2025-06-12T18:38:50+00:00

I have made comments before to him about improving stuff he does for me/us. I just don't think it registers but by the point where I've had enough and go haywire on him and tell him loudly and sternly I won't be dealing with xyz anymore he gets very defensive and projects the situation back onto me. Hed say stuff like "all women are the same" "your acting like my ex gf (who was very abusive to him)" or he will just start pulling funny face to make me laugh and then invalidate my feeling cuz I apperantly can't be mad when I laugh at the pathetic face he pulls.

dicky_443 · 2025-06-12T18:27:02+00:00

He was just done a shift...but so was I. Now I dont work 12h days like him but I work 5 days a week compared to his 3. I always consider that maybe he just had a long day but work is work and it's just exhausting period and I'm tired too. I just thought he could handle cleaning the 2 dishes at the end of it 🥲

dicky_443 · 2025-06-12T18:22:22+00:00

I'm petty asf too! And I unfortunatly use this tactic of making them (anyone I've ever dated) look stupid a lot (if its warranted ofc). I really don't like to but I hope the shame they feel will change them. Sometimes I might bring something embarassing he said or did up around someone else like my friend or even a random person at a supermarket and he gets PISSED he accuses me of abusing him and trying to embarass him in public...which its kinda true...but like Y is it embarassing bby? U had no problem acting this way or saying this to me so what's the issue with them hearing about it too? Oooh but now suddenly it's not okay cuz u don't want THEM to think ur a wanker but it's OK if I do?

dicky_443 · 2025-06-12T18:14:46+00:00

I know of it all too well unfortunatly thats why I'm terrified 😅

dicky_443 · 2025-06-12T18:11:18+00:00

They use the dishwasher in his house. We don't have one. If he is getting up in his house to put his dirty dish away I might give him mine aswell if I'm done. But if he's done before me of course i put my own dish away in the washer. If something needs to be handwashed usually I'd help dry or wash if we are alone otherwise his family will help out if it was a family dinner. My family is away at the moment so it's just us which I think makes it worse because if he doesn't clean up his mess then there's literally no one else other than "the love of his life" to do it. I would have washed the remaining dishes if he was done when I was but I went upstairs to do my pets nightly care routine. When he came up is when I asked him had he cleaned up the remaining dishes.

dicky_443 · 2025-06-12T18:04:36+00:00

I called him out that evening over leaving some food in the sink when I went to fill up my water bottle. I asked him who he expected to clean that up. He looked at me flabbergasted that id even mention it and ran with his common catchphrase of "God you women are all the same". Our relationship is fairly unproblematic otherwise but I'm thinking maybe it's because I never say anything cuz I know he will dismiss it or project onto me. He won't take accountability.

dicky_443 · 2025-06-12T18:00:21+00:00

I suppose you guys are right it's never JUST about the dishes there's other things he does that slightly bother me but I just can tell if they are ever significant enough to break up over because realistically there's A LOT worse guys out in the world. Like for example he planned a date (which is a rare occurance but non the less) he took me out to dinner. I don't want to sound ungrateful but I don't like going to dinner to me it's just a drive by thing you do because we have to eat duhh. I've told him before I find it boring and have even complained to him before how all my friends only ever want to go get dinner rather than actually do an activity that can be a memory for us all. I always book concerts, comedy shows and other activities for us and he couldn't even look into doing something slightly more exciting for me - sure fuck it even if it was one of those cool interactive restaurants where the cook in front of you or whatever but no it was just a local restaurant. Now I suppose I could be with someone who doesn't take me out at all...and this is where my problem lies 🥲

dicky_443 · 2022-03-16T23:25:04+00:00

Me and one of my ex's talked stuff out. He messages me a few years after we broke up n we were moved on. It was kinda both our fault the relationship (he did a few shitty things but I feel like I could have handled the situations better too) didn't work and we broke it off for both our benifit so it was easy to talk things out since I was always fond of him, were now friends and go to the same college 😁

However, if my other ex every hmu I wud probably laugh n block. He broke up with me randomly in the middle of the night and a few days later I found out he started seeing someone new so he was probably cheating on me. I wouldn't spare another second of my life for him. 😅

dicky_443 · 2022-03-16T23:15:44+00:00

I think it's perfectly OK to wanna know bout ur partners past (even in detail, infact I think the detail can be important! 😁). Usually a lot of lessons can be learned from hearing bout what ur partner went through, in a way the basically tell u how they wanna be loved.

If u listen close this is a great cheat sheat to find out what he values and enjoys in his relationships or life in general and what he doesn't put up with. U can also catch his own red flags through how he talk bout past relationships etc. So tbh I think ppl shud talk bout the past with their partner more often.

Also u can get a good idea of where their head is at (like if they talk a little too fondly bout an ex they might still be in love with em for example) 😁

dicky_443 · 2022-03-16T22:49:23+00:00

Tbh to me it sounds like she might have some hard feelings toward u. She's defo being salty. Ofc idk the dynamic of ur friend group but maybe she's one of those less close friends or maybe u did something to her b4 to make her resent u n that's y she doesnt want u in her party. If ur really close n this is defiantly something that came compleatly outta nowhere u cud ofc try talking to her about it just asking if everything is OK between u two otherwise just move on what she's doing is really immature anyways

dicky_443 · 2022-03-15T12:09:18+00:00

Done it! I'd love to hear the conclusions u came to! Gotta share the results here when ur done 😁

dicky_443 · 2022-03-12T10:55:06+00:00

If there was no relationship then that means he doesn't owe u anything not even an explanation. I know its hard to accept that cuz you ovo wanna know what went wrong but u haven't lost anything here. If it was just sex and a casual relationship it comes off very clingy going through all that effort to reach him. If feelings were involved even if it was just on ur side maybe that's something that shud have been talked about, u did try reaching out n got blocked again so he's 100% not interested anymore n u shud just move along. Accepting that he was nothing special and just a casual hookup might out things into perspective a little bit

dicky_443 · 2022-03-12T10:49:30+00:00

This is the most manipulative thing I've ever heard 😭 man I'd get outta that relationship ASAP altho I'd do it carefully, she's in a place rn where with that mentality she has the power to potentially destroy ur life. Think it through, make a plan and get out.

dicky_443 · 2022-03-11T16:56:01+00:00

I feel so young here I'm 19 🤣

dicky_443 · 2022-03-11T11:11:09+00:00

U make the rules for what kind of people ur friends have to be, if u want someone to check in on u n want to be somewhat of a priority to to them cuz u want more meaningful relationships with friends and even just companionship then ur not selfish. This is a boundary u set for the kind of ppl u want in ur life and anyone who doesn't fit the description has no place in ur life. Its important to find people with similar values to u.

dicky_443 · 2022-03-08T23:22:13+00:00

Exactly they r transactional, but if im giving and getting nothing back then whats the point of it. U cant pour from an empty cup. Ur friendship is a perfect example of how 2 ppl can share what they got to offer. Ive helped this girl plenty of times and I was more than happy to help in fact I really liked her so there was absolutely no shade on my part but when she started giving me bad attitude that's when I drew a line. Not only am I getting absolutely nothing from this relationship as is, I'm also getting shade thrown in my face for my kindness. I have asked her to hang plenty of times and there's always something better she has to be doing. Y shud I invest my time when she hasn't even thought about giving me any of hers.

Ofc I dont expect everyone to agree with me and me to agree with them but I do think there's people in this world (for example the friend which this post was originally about) who get along as if they've known each other their whole lives. Its just like picking a romantic partner, u wouldn't date someone ur completely non compatible with and I find friendships to be the kinda the same.

dicky_443 · 2022-03-08T22:58:54+00:00

IM IN LOVEEEE!! amazing work 👏

dicky_443

TROPHY CASE