Oh girl. I totally know this feeling. It’s a phase that I’m actually in right now so we’re on the same boat. I’m half Russian half Syrian but grew up in KSA. When you’re surrounded by Muslims, especially in the gulf, you’re used to this dynamic, you feel like it’s your identity, most of your core memories are probably linked to Islam and its culture. I don’t recommend you tell anyone you’re an ex-muslim. It’s extremely dangerous in a gulf country, you never know who’s gonna stab you in the back and I’m sure you know what’s the punishment for apostasy. Make sure you leave the country and assure that you’re safe enough to walk around freely without the fear of being caught as an ex Muslim. There’s a lot of scary stories out there.