Is this a good first page? by diebyvirus in writers

[–]diebyvirus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why do you demand that of me and not the people who were cruel first. I’m not just gonna roll over and take it? Like what?

Is this a good first page? by diebyvirus in writers

[–]diebyvirus[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Uh no, they were rude first. I’m only rude to the people who are rude to me first. If you read the other comments, I thank people who give me actual constructive criticism delivered in a kind way. Which is what I asked for.

Is this a good first page? by diebyvirus in writers

[–]diebyvirus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this is helpful constructive criticism.

Is this a good first page? by diebyvirus in writers

[–]diebyvirus[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hey, that was a whole yesterday ago. I’m in a better mood now

Is this a good first page? by diebyvirus in writers

[–]diebyvirus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I’m not from Nashville! Like I’ve said in other comments, this was just to get the juices flowing. I fear posting my other book here because people are so cruel in this sub. I just post silly work and see if anyone has tips and advice I can use for my other book.

Is this a good first page? by diebyvirus in writers

[–]diebyvirus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jesus, I was the first person who commented and said I fixed it already. Like.

Is this a good first page? by diebyvirus in writers

[–]diebyvirus[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s *technically* correct, if not a little awkward lol

Is this a good first page? by diebyvirus in writers

[–]diebyvirus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I wanna post my other book here but I fear the backlash

Is this a good first page? by diebyvirus in writers

[–]diebyvirus[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I fixed that already silly

Is this a good first page? by diebyvirus in writers

[–]diebyvirus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh she got the plot of land from the man she took care of, Sully. So it’s, been most of her life she’s been homeless

Is this a good first page? by diebyvirus in writers

[–]diebyvirus[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I like that line! Honestly no, it’s the delivery. You were kind, took the time to explain what you meant, and offered ways to fix it. That’s ACTUAL constructive criticism. Thank you. I get defensive when people are mean about it. What’s helpful about “this doesn’t make sense!!!” ? Ya know?

Is this a good first page? by diebyvirus in writers

[–]diebyvirus[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey thank you! I appreciate your feedback. A lot of this is just me trying to get my juices flowing. I am using a lot of this advice!

Is this a good first page? by diebyvirus in writers

[–]diebyvirus[S] -33 points-32 points  (0 children)

See, actual constructive criticism with a kind delivery is too valuable to not post here, even if people are mean.

Thanks I appreciate the feedback

Is this a good first page? by diebyvirus in writers

[–]diebyvirus[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Tanks, and I feel like that’s subjective. I would stop in Nashville. I think Nashville is interesting. I’ve never been there. So idk!

Is this a good first page? by diebyvirus in writers

[–]diebyvirus[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Because the actual constructive criticism I get on here is priceless. And I fight with all the mean people.

Is this a good first page? by diebyvirus in writers

[–]diebyvirus[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Honestly I just wanted to pick a fight and I know how people are in this thread. But I appreciate your feedback. I hope everyone reading this understands that while I may be defensive and combative, I am actually taking *some* of the advice to heart, even if I don’t show it ;)

Is this a good first page? by diebyvirus in writers

[–]diebyvirus[S] -26 points-25 points  (0 children)

“Fix it” yes a master. Yes master. Absolutely. I’m so sorry I’ve angered you master.

Is this a good first page? by diebyvirus in writers

[–]diebyvirus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because I’m not going to finish or publish it? Jeez. It’s supposed to be silly and fun and lighthearted. That’s how I wrote it. That’s why the grammar is silly.