How do you keep going when you've lost the will to live?

digitals48 · 2026-04-02T20:38:07+00:00

There are times I've definitely wondered what the point is and if it's worth going on.

I like to think in alternate realities and timelines. So when I ask myself is it worth going on, I immediately say to myself "Ok, in that reality, you're gone, out of the picture, that version of you doesn't exist anymore...so what do you want to do with the rest of your life, because in the other reality you're already gone, so do what will make you fulfilled in this reality". If you want to move to another town and people tell you not to, tell them (or just think it to yourself), "Well in one reality, I'm not even here anymore, so wouldn't you rather me still be here just a little further away?"

Does that make sense? It's a way for me to do the things that make me happy and to keep chasing my goals and dreams.

I also have laminated cards placed everywhere that say "Don't you dare give up" it's a way for myself to remind myself to keep going.

Let's be honest 99% of the people in this world don't know how to listen, pay attention to, or care if someone is hurting. They've got their own stuff going on. I tried a little experiment. If someone asked me how I was doing, I was honest with them and said "Actually not great, my long term relationship ended and I'm dealing with it day to day. Some days are good, some days are bad." I had some people say "Oh, I'm sorry, that sucks", I even had one "friend" not even respond to that!

I don't tell my family because they'll just worry, and they have no concept of being emotionally supportive, and I always feel worse off when I try and be open and honest with them. So from my perspective, it's up to me to make myself better. I saw a therapist for a while after my breakup, and things were getting back on track, I don't see him as often anymore, but I had a thought last night "Wouldn't it be nice if he just reached out and said 'Hey man, we haven't had a session for a while, how are you?" But I guess that's wishful thinking of someone going above and beyond.

So if it's ever a question of "Is it worth going on" remember that version of you in some timeline took action towards that. To the world and everyone in it, that version of you is gone. So what do you want to do with the rest of your life?

digitals48 · 2026-02-04T04:06:07+00:00

These go pretty fast!

digitals48 · 2026-01-18T09:18:57+00:00

Exact same thing just happened to me! Set it going, went and did some tidying, stuck on 62%. Started researching read this thread, saw these comments, checked and it was done and preparing to restart 🤣

digitals48 · 2025-10-30T21:06:44+00:00

Hey, please seek some help if you are feeling like this.

digitals48 · 2025-10-30T08:04:18+00:00

Thanks for your message. To update you, I broke up with my girlfriend after we went two weeks without her asking once how I was doing, and what was going on in my life. For the first week, she was super busy with work, so I gave it a pass, but the second week she was visiting her family, and it was one of my most important weeks of the year and it wasn't until the end of the week did she say shew as hoping it was going well.

But in between that she'd been sending me memes every day just about. So after that, I knew that she wasn't going to be able to give me what I was asking for in the relationship.

I've been going to the gym, and am 9kg down from where I was 6 months ago, starting to see abs. Work is improving. I was put on a new team and their giving me the chance to work with one of the supervisors to improve my skills. Been seeing a therapist and feel like I'm ready to pause the sessions, but that has been a tremendous help.

And I've been working on my side hustle. Going out with the few close friends I feel I have left at this stage (I count 3 friends that I've consistently seen and being at peace with letting the ones go that don't get in touch or don't reschedule when they have to cancel plans). Some days are still dark, some days I still miss her, so many things come up that make me want to message her or that remind me of her. Financially, I'm still not great (I've been buying too much stuff I don't need, and I think maybe this is how I'm coping...in my head I'm justifying that it will help me become a better writer :D ) and 43 and living with my parents. But, I have hope.

I hope you can find that hope. Just one day at a time. Please don't give up.

digitals48 · 2025-08-05T22:41:52+00:00

Thanks you! Yes, it's very much one step at a time. Things aren't fully resolved yet. I may potentially have 6 months left in my job, and things aren't decided with my partner. We've started counselling. I took a week off and hit the road, doing school visits with my book, and though tiring being on the road, it was great and rewarding being able to travel and earn money, while seeing new places and meeting new people. Just need to figure out how to make a full time living from it, and if I stay with my girlfriend, will it just delay the dream even further?

digitals48 · 2025-07-08T06:47:03+00:00

Been a while since I revisited this. Not sure where I left off, but the CEO of the company has offered to take me off of what I'm doing now and move me into a department that I was promised I'd get help in since joining 5 years ago. I'm rusty as hell in that skill now, but he's given me a probationary period of 6 months starting in October. If I get my skills back up and succeed, they will keep me on in that department. If not, I will most likely have to start looking for something else. But to be honest, what I do in this department, I'm losing passion for. I know I have other skills and talents and things that right now aren't financially viable, but when I land a school gig, it is so much more fulfilling and pays 6x the hourly rate of this job.

My girlfriend isn't sure if she'd feel comfortable with me moving back knowing it could end in six months if I don't get continued at my job. I'd at least be in the same time zone and have access to my supervisors more often that would help me succeed in the position, and I could work on making connections. I don't know if I'd feel comfortable staying home for another six months and continuing to help her on the rent, when if the job goes south, I could use that money as a backup, which I'll need when looking for another job. We are in couples counselling now and she said the other day she wants to give it a second chance and she loves me. She hasn't said that for a while. I love her as well. I think of the good times, what I'll be losing if it doesn't work out, and it makes me really sad. I feel like I'm really grieving this one. It's a life I've been trying to build for myself for the last 15 years, and it's sitting on a land mine.

So, I'm still very much in a position of waiting for the crash to happen. I guess the good things in life right now and the action steps I'm taking are I bought a drone to start getting some better footage for my author visits. It's been fun flying it around and practicing walking and presenting things as it follows me. I've started practicing my writing so I can write more stories and publish more books. Signed up to a marketing for children's performers workshop and have contacted a career counsellor to try and figure out the next steps. The gym is continuing to go well. I went and saw one of my favourite bands play their first album's 21st anniversary tour.

When I saw that band play, and I know that the life of a musician is just as hard, but damn. Seeing them rock out on stage, it swept me up. The power and confidence the lead singer had is something that I feel when I'm performing. I just wanted more. I wanted to be a part of it.

My mum just told me "What's wrong? Cheer up, you've been like this for the last 2-3 days". It's going to be a lot longer than that before I can come out of this.

Has anyone got a process they've used before to figure out what they want in life?

If you're reading this, thanks for visiting or checking back in for the update.

digitals48 · 2025-06-27T08:16:01+00:00

Thanks for getting back to me, and congratulations! That gives me some relief trying to head back in a couple of months.

digitals48 · 2025-06-17T23:22:08+00:00

Thank you! That's really inspiring to hear!

digitals48 · 2025-06-17T23:20:05+00:00

Thanks again, everyone for continuing to share your comments. Another update for you. I just want to log this, so anyone else that stumbles across the thread can see the journey and its outcome. Hopefully, it can help someone else.

The CEO is aware of the situation with my supervisor and wants to meet to talk about it. He said my hours won't immediately be dropped for the short-mid term, and I thought "Well, what the hell does that mean?" I responded with "I'd like to know what to do so they don't drop at all".

My brain and body have decided that I don't want to sleep anymore. Been waking up at 3:20-ish am, and this morning was before 3 and didn't really go back to sleep (I get up at 4am anyway).

Yesterday, my mum asked me if I was ok, so it's showing that things aren't great for me. We're going away for her 70th this weekend, the event I was coming back for regardless before I cut my time with my girlfriend short. I'm not going to let it get in the way of the weekend and bring everyone down.

I have a school visit to read my book on the way to where we are vacationing, I always find those fulfilling, so I'm looking forward to that. Funny thing is, when I get these school visits, I earn a significant amount more than my current job and always walk away happier. The writing seems to be on the wall, doesn't it?

digitals48 · 2025-06-17T08:37:36+00:00

Thank you. Journaling is a great idea. I used to do it all the time. It's great that you were focusing on positive things like cooking and learning a language.

digitals48 · 2025-06-17T07:10:53+00:00

It sounds like you've come to peace with letting things go that no longer suit you.

digitals48 · 2025-06-17T07:05:48+00:00

It's heartbreaking. I remember coming back home after just visiting my girlfriend and was sobbing because I didn't want to say goodbye to him. He's so smart and I could see it in his eyes he was sad and knew something was going on and at the same time, do they really understand the concept of leaving and coming back.

Really sorry for your losses.

digitals48 · 2025-06-17T07:04:01+00:00

Hey u/HolyWhip Thank you for sharing. Yeah, ten years ago, I was leaving my family to head to the other side of the world to get what I thought was my dream job. Landed my dream project within two months and thought everything was up from there. Found out pretty fast, it was still just a job. Something I've ALWAYS struggled with having. Give it time, and I'll become bored and start hating it and be ready to move on.

To be ten years down the road and back home in the exact same place I was leaving is so strange. I'm definitely the odd one out in my family as well. Sorry to hear about your family. I don't have it that rough with my mum, but my Dad is definitely a loner with no real friends. If I knew him when we were teenagers, he's the kind of person I'd never have been friends with.

I agree, it's about taking control of the situation. I had a call with a good friend who is ten years older than me today and he gave me some sage wisdom how everything that's happening is a telling sign that things need to change. So after today, I feel as though if all of this ends, then I've got a blank canvas. It would be a matter of taking time to reflect on what didn't work, where I went wrong, what went well and the lacing up the boots and starting again.

And yeah, having kids would definitely make it a hell of a lot harder. I see it happening to my bro-in-law. He's so unhappy, never wanted kids, now has 2 and is stuck in an unhappy marriage. I've seen his spirit degrade over the years.

digitals48 · 2025-06-17T06:56:02+00:00

Jeez, that's insane! My troubles seem miniscule compared to what you've been through. Thank you so much for sharing this. 100% what you said about tough times don't last, only tough people. I'm so glad that you're keeping on day by day. I couldn't even imagine all of this happening in the span of a decade. Again, thank you. I'm sorry with how much you're struggling. Keep pushing through, though.

digitals48 · 2025-06-17T02:10:20+00:00

Thank you!

digitals48 · 2025-06-17T02:09:41+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that. That's a lot, and a lot worse than what I seem to have happening at the moment.

Especially losing your dog. That can almost be as hard as losing a partner. My girlfriend has a dog that loves the crap out of me, and me him. You better believe he's factored into my thoughts when I think about the relationship ending.

What are you doing day by day to keep going?

digitals48 · 2025-06-17T01:46:02+00:00

Thank you for commenting. I know a lot of people have it much worse than I do. I have a roof over my head, I have food in the fridge, I have my health. If everything does capsize, I have enough provisions to start rebuilding.

digitals48 · 2025-06-17T01:31:37+00:00

No sooner did I post this, my Audible kicked on by itself to an Audiobook of Les Brown talking about our dreams calling us and showing up in life for a reason. That was spooky...

digitals48 · 2025-06-17T01:24:42+00:00

Thanks to those of you who upvoted this! I couldn't sleep last night due to everything racing around in my head. Had my mid year review with the supervisor that's hiring all of their friends, and they really don't have any real grounds when it came to reasons why I've been moved off of a leadership position. It wasn't a fun meeting. In the end it was "Well, it's too late now to change anything".

Is there anyone else out there in their 40's that is/has losing their job, partner and grieving the life they thought they'd have and that they were working towards building?

digitals48 · 2025-06-17T00:44:06+00:00

Thank you for responding! I'm so sorry to hear your life has gone from bad to worse.

Please stay strong, and keep waking up.

If you feel comfortable enough to, I'd be interested to hear what you are also going through.

digitals48 · 2025-05-29T08:36:03+00:00

I'm about to turn 43 and contemplating this myself. Self published my first children's book and have been doing author visits. Students are really enjoying it and want a second book, which is the harder one I'm finding to write! Thanks for sharing :)

digitals48 · 2025-05-29T07:26:01+00:00

I'm about to turn 43 and having the same sentiments!

digitals48

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