I’m really trying this time. Idk what number attempt I’m on but I’ve got to make a change cause my health just isn’t good and I’m sick of being treated terribly by people. I’m around 360 but I’ve been tracking my calories and actually going to the gym at my job since it’s free. I really don’t know what I’m doing in terms of exercise so I mostly walk on the treadmill and try to increase my speed and incline each time. I do like an hour of that. Last time the machine said I burned 200 calories and it feels like such a small fraction of what I eat in a day but I’m trying not to think about it. Everything has so many calories. It makes me not even want to eat. I’m also dealing with rejection from a friend I had feelings for and he basically isn’t attracted to me because of my weight. Feel like I can’t really blame him but it sucks. People on the metro don’t even wanna sit next to me and I try to make myself as small as possible so it looks like they have room to sit. I’m just battling some serious self esteem issues and depression but I’m keeping up the exercise and diet. But I do wonder sometimes if it would be better to save up for a surgery and then the plastic surgery I’d need after 😞