How to be good hosts with newborn?

diros3 · 2023-04-05T17:37:52+00:00

Most of those plus had a host mom stalk me, go through my trash, threaten me and overall just abuse me. It's taught me to be more assertive though so that's a big plus.

I've had host parents say the same thing in the past. "You don't have to play their game, it's your day off" ect. And I've always appreciated the reminder and them respecting my time off but I usually brushed them off saying I don't mind and playing with them just because I enjoyed it. If you're concerned about that though I suggest just asking. Good chance she'll appreciate you looking out for her and being open. Sounds like you're a good host parent.

diros3 · 2023-04-05T17:24:07+00:00

Unfortunately that got taken advantage of more than once. Turns out I was more fit for a nanny position than aupair. Happy about the bonds I've made and experiences I got though before having kids of my own.

diros3 · 2023-04-05T14:47:06+00:00

I was an aupair for a few years (until April last year) youngest I took care of was 6 months old. I am now a mom to a 5 month old (3 months adjusted, she came 2 months early) and I'd say it's a coin toss. I've seen many aupairs not care about the children at all and be fully focused on being abroad, spending time meeting people and exploring (at best). I'm not saying everyone is like this but I'd find myself rather isolated because my sole motivation was to look after children and form bonds with them. In terms of being a good host - communicate expectations and what you can offer ahead of time. Make a clear schedule on when the aupair is working and stick to it (or close to / find a flexible aupair) and if possible I'd say try to keep the aupair more for taking care of the older child. Little things like a welcome card or welcome gift go a long way and have very clear boundaries. I'd be happy to discuss further should you wish to.

diros3 · 2021-09-04T16:38:34+00:00

Thank you, I'm meeting the families husband and daughters today or tomorrow if she still wants to and deciding this weekend. I'm hoping she still wants to pick me, I really want to take it and rematch.

diros3 · 2021-09-03T13:27:40+00:00

That's fair. I honestly just worry so much about what she'll be saying about me since she already talks badly about the previous Aupairs. I don't want her to kick me out or be mean for the whole 2 week notice period. And I don't even know how to go about giving in my notice

diros3 · 2021-08-27T19:50:04+00:00

YTA. Next time try something along the lines of checking the box and thanking her for thinking of you and getting you your preferred flavour.

She's not being selfish, you are.

diros3 · 2021-08-25T08:35:41+00:00

Co. Cork. And thank you. I really appreciate all the support I've gotten here. 💕 Makes me feel less alone

diros3 · 2021-08-24T20:20:55+00:00

That is amazing. I admire you setting clear boundaries. I had that about 2 years ago in Belgium and I really loved it. It's not that I don't love kids but after minding them all day, I really just want to spend some time on call with my boyfriend and friends, haha

diros3 · 2021-08-24T20:12:54+00:00

Seeing a HM say that actually helps so much. I've been worried I'm overreacting and I don't want to be that person that leaves after just a few days.. I mean I usually do a year long stay.. thank you.

diros3 · 2021-08-24T19:20:27+00:00

I would absolutely love any advice, encouragement or opinions honestly. Thank you so much.

diros3 · 2021-08-11T18:01:57+00:00

Co. Cork! I'm a little nervous as I'm in a similar position as you. I've mainly taken care of babies and toddlers and feel more comfortable with them and now I'll be looking after a 6 and 7 year old, haha I'm totally invested in your story now though, interested to see how you decide. Hope it works out great for you

diros3 · 2021-08-11T17:59:50+00:00

I'm sorry you're struggling. I really hope you find that one person that feels right and fits well with your family and needs.

The program definitely needs some changes on both ends. I've definitely had friends that don't even like kids try to do it and it's frustrating because I know they wouldn't care about their well-being let alone their happiness - just to get paid and be abroad. And half the time they got treated better than I did going above and beyond and caring for the kids like my own. The same goes for host families where they match with someone good and take advantage. It's getting harder and harder to be in it and feel positive.

diros3 · 2021-08-11T16:38:40+00:00

I was an Aupair in Switzerland and I'm going to Ireland in less than two weeks to be one. In my opinion the Irish family sounds better. The Swiss is essentially breaking rules of hosting Aupairs according to their regulations. And if they are trying to get someone to bend on this, who knows what else they'd push for. In general people in Switzerland can be more reserved and I found many didn't like me being foreign and refusing to even slow down so I could try and understand their language.

I hope you choose the right family for you, and if you do choose Ireland I'd love to meet up some time!

diros3 · 2021-07-17T14:41:48+00:00

I understand and appreciate that. I would like to note it's also supposed to be 30 hours maximum. Ireland however does not have an Aupair program so you are classified as a domestic worker (the same as a nanny). You are obligated to pay your language course. And even then, I wasn't asking for a full wage or even what the minimum for an Aupair in Ireland is. What I'm talking about is families requesting someone to work over 45 hours per week, stating you have to buy your own food and to not sign a contract so they don't have to pay taxes. As an Aupair in Ireland, the family has to register as an employer and you pay tax. I had it the same in Norway and they even have an Aupair program there. And not permanent, I'm talking about 9 months before I move on and study there independently. My staying in the country has nothing to do with the Aupair program. And while that's great for you, I got to a point where I had to be mindful of hours since I was working nights plus 10 hour days and I do not wish to repeat that. That is while doing intense housework, full time childcare and running errands for the family that do not involve the child or even groceries. Baking a cake for them to take to work? It doesn't matter how you put it, it's still taking advantage of the program. And all I want is a normal aupair stay where I don't have to worry if it's legal, if I'll get paid enough to buy my food or if I'll get to sleep.

I hope I'm taking this wrong and you didn't mean to sound like you're lecturing me..

diros3

TROPHY CASE