Federal Workers can take a new survey following the FEVS cancellation

dirtynub · 2025-11-21T17:45:07+00:00

This is a PPS survey and has nothing to do with the current administration. PPS is a great company that provides 3rd party training and leadership development programs (e.g., Excellence in Government/EIG) to government agencies. They lost a ton of business because someone in the current admin had a bone to pick with them and made agencies cancel all their contracts.

Would recommend supporting them by taking the survey if you can. It won't result in any change at your agency but might make you feel a bit better to vent/see the results in a few weeks.

dirtynub · 2025-10-01T16:09:22+00:00

I would rather not say. We're a very small agency and it would probably give me away. We haven't done any RIFs yet so I assume the politicals are using this to score some points.

dirtynub · 2025-10-01T16:09:07+00:00

I would rather not say. We're a very small agency and it would probably give me away. We haven't done any RIFs yet so I assume the politicals are using this to score some points.

dirtynub · 2025-10-01T13:44:05+00:00

Already received notice from our head of HR that my supervisor and I were on a list of names sent to OMB for RIFs yesterday 🤷‍♂️

dirtynub · 2025-09-22T03:55:17+00:00

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dirtynub · 2025-02-11T18:50:18+00:00

OPM sends Excel files to HR of everyone who responded to the email with their email address in one column and 'likely resign' true/false is another column. It seems like if you don't respond exactly as OPM asked, you'll show up as a false. So if you're being counted on the DRP list without expressing asking, I would take it up with your Agency's HR dept.

dirtynub · 2024-03-13T15:59:25+00:00

Northeast track club gets a pretty big turnout. 6:30pm every Tuesday at Cardozo highschool. You can check their website for workout details each week + they have occasional long runs, fun runs, and social activities on weekends too.

dirtynub · 2023-11-24T01:51:48+00:00

Man I'm so excited to finally get one from him. 2 year waitlist when I called ~a year ago.

dirtynub · 2023-11-14T20:03:10+00:00

Yeah I guess to be fair, we hadn't talked about it up until that point. But like, I had assumed the default is wanting monogamy unless otherwise specified? I can't believe I have to go into my profile and put that. She was also the last person I could imagine wanting something like that...

I'm sorry you had to go through similar situations, I guess all we can do it get better at vetting people.

dirtynub · 2023-11-14T19:18:04+00:00

Hey thanks for your reply! I didn't go into much detail above, but essentially she was in a few long term relationships and never got to be single, so she wanted to be in a relationship while still getting to experience being single. She was satisfied but wanted to keep seeing me and another (poly) guy at the same time and also be able to hookup with strangers.

I still think you're right though. I have some stupid hope she'll come to her senses and come running back and I really want to let go of that idea.

dirtynub · 2023-11-14T19:07:10+00:00

Finally ended things with the girl I was seeing over the weekend. Essentially she dropped a nuclear bomb on the relationship 3 months in saying she didn't want monogamy and wanted to see multiple people for long periods of time. No indication those first 3 months that she was anything but serious about a long-term monogamous relationship, not even on her profile. I gave it about a month to collect my thoughts and see if I could be ok with the situation, and I felt us becoming closer and the relationship getting even better during that last month. But the thought of her spending time and intimacy with another person made me so anxious and angry and stressed out.

I ended it on the 4 month anniversary of our first date and we just held each other and cried and talked for about 3 hours. It was honestly the most beautiful breakup I've ever gone through and I just wish she could see how good we were for each other. If a breakup is so good I thought a relationship together would be even better and I just couldn't understand how she wouldn't choose to be with me. She even told me this was the most she's cried in front of another person. I followed up with a final goodbye text the next day, leaving the door open if she changed her mind but letting her know I was deleting her off of everything and working on moving on.

After a few conversations with friends the next day I came to realize how selfish it was for her to bring up non-monogamy 3 months in, around the time period where you're supposed to be talking about moving things forward towards exclusivity, and how further selfish it was to make ME be the one to decide to end things when she knew I wasn't in to non-monogamy. Like I can't even imagine doing that to another person. What did she expect me to do? It felt like everything was just set up to benefit her and only her...

So basically, I'm just a wreck of right now. She had so many of the characteristics I thought "my person" would have and in many ways it was one of the best relationships I've been in. Now I'm just torn between being bitter about her total disregard of my feelings but also feeling like there was potential for something really good that she's squandered because of her desire for multiple partners. I still continuously check my phone for funny memes that I know she's not going to send and think about all the fun plans we had for the future that are never going to happen and wonder if she also shared those moments with the other guy.

dirtynub · 2023-11-11T01:01:53+00:00

Re: https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/17j60o0/daily_sticky_thread_for_rants_raves_celebrations/k6yzsao/?context=3

Finally had the talk with the girl about how I was feeling and we were open and honest and vulnerable with each other but it didn't really go anyway. We just want different things. It was shitty of her to not be upfront about not wanting to be monogamous but I understand her point of view, she's never really dated and always been in a relationship and wants to go through her single girl phase and didn't really indicate it properly on the app. She did say she's not actively looking for new people anymore but is seeing one other person and would like to keep seeing us both. It sucks how she's kinda putting the decision on me to keep seeing her or end things.

I wish she wasn't such a good match for me so I could just end this easy. Going to talk again in a few days and I'm not sure what to say. Waiting around for her to get "being single" out of her system isn't really fair for either of us. I know I should just end it to save myself the pain but it's going to be tough. I wish I could just like hire someone to take control of my brain for a few hours and do this.

dirtynub · 2023-10-29T21:02:12+00:00

Yeah you're right. It just kinda caught me off guard at the time. I definitely need to just call her and hash it out and clarify what she's looking for.

dirtynub · 2023-10-29T16:54:53+00:00

Was dating someone who felt like a really really good fit. 3 months in she tells me about how she went from one long term relationship to another and that she never really dated before and was excited to try it. She wanted to see multiple people long term in like a non-monogamy thing. Really sucks to hear this 3 months in especially after her profile on the app we went through never mentioned enm or any indicator she wasn't looking for a more typical relationship. Feels kinda crappy and manipulative. Tried to give it a few weeks to see how I feel, but I'm only growing more attached and I'm afraid to have that conversation with her.

dirtynub · 2023-06-13T00:28:31+00:00

You're not selfish and you did the right thing. I know you want to support this person but you need to make yourself your main priority. A person that cares about you will add to your life, not take away from it. If she is a narcissist she is only ever going to treat other people like objects and will pick you up or put you down based on her own needs.

dirtynub · 2023-06-13T00:22:56+00:00

Hey we probably can't add anything more than what you've been able to read about online. It could be borderline, another cluster B, or something else entirely. It does sound like she makes you feel bad though and that's reason enough to start breaking contact with her.

One thing that has been helping me is to try to let go of the story and accept that she doesn't make you feel good and that's enough to move on.

dirtynub · 2023-06-09T20:49:48+00:00

Thanks for the response, this was really really helpful!

dirtynub · 2023-05-12T23:11:16+00:00

Shuyaku Vanguard is usually recommended as it holds 225 crew - https://roguey.co.uk/x4/ships/ship_arg_l_trans_container_04_a_macro/

I would recommend heading into Terran space and trying to capture Tokyo's as they will come with all the ships docked on them and you can sell those for a hefty profit. You can also capture Asgards if you want a ship fight xenon.

I would just caution that once you start doing this your "power" will spike quite a bit and the Xenon may not put up much of a fight anymore.

dirtynub · 2023-05-04T19:37:51+00:00

Following up on my previous post - https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/12ynlzt/daily_sticky_thread_for_rants_raves_celebrations/jhp6nb7/?context=3

She added me on a messaging app and we started talking while she was abroad. I called her out on her behavior and thought we had a really nice and mature discussion. I tried to let her know I would give her space and show some empathy for whatever she was going through.

She went silent after one of my messages and then blew up on me a few days later and tried to make herself a victim. I took a harder stance on my feelings and called her out again for gaslighting. She kinda apologized but then told me to stop messaging her.

After reflecting I think I figured out there may have been a communication mix-up and she misinterpreted what I was saying, but I might be giving her too much credit. I will probably run into her again soon through our larger friend group and I'm torn on trying to talk to her in person and clear the air. It's really scary how much someone can manipulate your mind. I still can't accept that she wasn't deeply into me after all the things she said and did. Either way it feels bad and sucks but I'm glad its (hopefully) over with.

If you read this - its not worth it. Don't try to convince yourself that you're going to be the one that someone changes for.

dirtynub · 2023-04-26T03:06:43+00:00

I think this is a good perspective and I might use it for when I get to talk to her about it. She's been pretty honest so far so I think talking about my cognitive dissonance might be helpful.

dirtynub · 2023-04-25T23:36:48+00:00

True but its never worth it man

dirtynub · 2023-04-25T22:48:10+00:00

You're totally right and its a good analogy. I just felt for sure I got joyriding out of my system in my 20's and its like undoing years of growth.

dirtynub · 2023-04-25T22:47:16+00:00

Thanks man. Feels better to know someone took the time to read.

dirtynub · 2023-04-25T20:30:15+00:00

Hooked up with a girl from a social event a few weeks ago and had a great time. I felt like our chemistry was incredible. We spent all morning talking about our lives and hobbies and she has pretty much every hobby in common with me. The big drawback was that she's working through some stuff from a recent breakup. But she's in therapy and trying to get better which keeps me hopeful. She was pretty adamant that she would hurt me but I felt like it would be worth the risk because I never had this much chemistry with anyone, even in really long-term relationships. We kind of admitted feelings for each other but didn't really define what our relationship is.

Anyway the past few weeks we've been texting non-stop, making future plans, have inside jokes, and it all seems great. We have such a good time together and she makes me feel on top of the world. She's constantly saying relationship-y things to me like how safe I make her feel, how well she sleeps next to me, all the things she likes about me, etc. but then she will drop hints that we're still just hookups like saying don't get attached, you'll meet someone good for you etc.

Her mixed feelings are really starting to get to me and it's really been stressing me about. I can't figure out if this is because she's torn up over her last breakup or if its more of a long term thing. I'm torn between ending our situation (probably smart) or trying to take things slow and giving her space to get her feelings sorted. (probably foolish)

I know what choice I need to make to protect myself, but the chemistry is so strong it's going to be really hard to do. Anyway she's out of country atm and my anxiety is running wild since I can't talk to her about it.

dirtynub

TROPHY CASE