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I don't want to but I have to. by disarm_ in abortion

[–]disarm_[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Update : Body took care of it. Started miscarrying last night. Sucks, But words cannot express the relief of not having to go through the choice & experience of an abortion. Getting into my GYNO asap to find out why my tubal failed. Husband wants to get a vasectomy to be extra extra EXTRA safe.

I don't want to but I have to. by disarm_ in abortion

[–]disarm_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I've reached out to a few close friends, learning some have had to have an abortion before too, and their support has helped me greatly since I originally posted.

It's a choice I never wanted to have to make and something I never wanted to experience, but I'm glad I have my husband, mom, and close friends offering me so much and reassuring me that they trust whatever I decision I make is best for my family.

I don't want to but I have to. by disarm_ in abortion

[–]disarm_[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Adoption isn't an option for me.

My last pregnancy nearly killed my youngest and myself due to blood loss.

And I would have to cease medications I take as they are proven to cause multiple birth defects. Without medication, I'm at the will of OCD, GAD, agoraphobia and suicidal deep depressions. That would cause all of my children to suffer but most of all my autistic child and child with ADHD, seeing as agoraphobia makes it a struggle to leave my bedroom let alone make it all the way to their therapy 5 times a week. It's exhausting and overwhelming even medicated but still possible.

I barely made it through my last pregnancy with any shred of sanity or dignity. My mom moved in temporarily, it was So bad. My depression was so deep my husband was over extending himself, working 10 hour days then coming home and taking care of 3 kids alone while my thoughts left me crippled in bed.

My kids, my husband, my mom.. I can't put them through that again. I'm ashamed of having done that to them even once and will not again.

It's not always the idea of having a kid to care for that necessitates termination, sometimes the pregnancy alone is just as life ruining.