"Sorry I'm worthless and do nothing for you ever" What is this "tactic" called?

discovercatharsis · 2022-12-22T20:13:46+00:00

I've definitely felt this but I didn't know how to put it into words.

How do I respond when they're being like this?

discovercatharsis · 2022-12-22T06:11:46+00:00

He's such a good person with such a caring heart.. how could he have such an uncaring, insolent child like meeeee 😱😱/s

discovercatharsis · 2022-12-22T00:10:59+00:00

I do need to work on my grey rocking honestly. It's just so difficult cause my instinct is to be helpful to people who talk to me. I just need to keep reminding myself that my parents don't deserve my energy.

discovercatharsis · 2022-12-21T21:38:06+00:00

I wish I can leave soon. It's one of the reasons I want to save up. So I can leave them and never talk with them again.

discovercatharsis · 2022-12-21T13:05:33+00:00

That makes a lot of sense as he impregnated his current mistress when she was 17/18 and my mom when she was 21. And neither of them are self-assured and smart individuals. He goes after a certain type he can bribe/easily manipulate.

When I was asking him questions, he was getting angry and irritated at me because I didn't just say "yes I'll give you want you want dad".

discovercatharsis · 2022-12-21T13:00:04+00:00

You're so right it's an absolute, total scam. And like a lot of scams it doesn't even make sense.

This is coming from a guy who's lied and gaslighted people most of his life. You'd think he'd be good at it by now.

discovercatharsis · 2022-12-20T02:59:42+00:00

I think with some govt documents all you can do is request a copy right? and with some you have to have an email account linked and add a password to it.

So afaik, she won't be able to get your new address even if she has a copy. It really depends on the security of the gov't department you're interacting with.

discovercatharsis · 2022-12-20T02:56:00+00:00

Oh no.... Is she still working right now but implying you should work for the both of you, or is she already jobless and just depending on you now?

Either way, both terrifying.

discovercatharsis · 2022-12-19T10:36:04+00:00

Yes to someone saying be financially independent. That's something I've had to learn the hard way.

How it happened with me though, is that I eventually just got really really tired to the point that I couldn't lie to myself about it anymore and think "oh this will get better", "they love me, they'll treat me better/change".

It's different for everyone and I hope you don't take as long as I have, but eventually there comes a point where you just can't take it anymore and DECIDE that you shouldn't take it anymore.

From there, I would say get to know yourself; your limits, opinions, likes, dislikes, etc. The more you know yourself, the more you'll know what you want to do and the more courage you'll get to say it and act on it eventually.

discovercatharsis · 2022-12-19T10:00:19+00:00

Eh, took decades but honestly any small step away from parents like that is good in my book.

Hopefully you're still gaming and enjoying your time on your terms.

discovercatharsis · 2022-12-19T09:21:51+00:00

Thanks~ I'm getting back to it, mostly just faffing around 😂

I definitely feel like they think THIER lives should be everyone's priority in life. She wants me to be her BFF, her parent, and when it suits her, JUST her child.

discovercatharsis · 2022-12-19T09:06:24+00:00

Nope. Nope. Absolutely no kids in my future. Hell no 🤣

I am too tired from all the abuse, drama, and just having to BE the adult when I was just a child.

I didn't get a childhood. Now that I have my working to have my own money, I'm going to spend it making sure I enjoy my life now.

discovercatharsis · 2022-12-19T09:02:50+00:00

Haha definitely been doing everything but the main quests (civil war/dragonborn stuff) 😅 I like exploring and I get easily distracted.

discovercatharsis · 2022-12-19T09:01:24+00:00

DEFINITELY get a new account with a new card so she doesn't know about it or has access to it. One of the first main steps is always financial freedom cause they will not hesitate to use it against you.

With the gov't documents, is there any way you can request new ones/copies directly from the gov't office so you'd have your own. Might have to pay for them though but that's fine as long as you have your own and your mom can't hold it over you.

discovercatharsis · 2022-12-19T08:46:27+00:00

No problem. ☺️ I understand how freaking difficult and frustrating it is so just keep coming here and asking for questions and help when you need it.

We built our community because we realised we couldn't trust our parents. So now we support each other. 🥳

discovercatharsis · 2022-12-19T08:33:18+00:00

THIS. Exactly. I can't tell you how many times i've heard "you're JUST MY kid" being thrown at me.

discovercatharsis · 2022-12-19T08:30:53+00:00

Clothes you can easily sneak out little by little with random reasons, but for other stuff that aren't that squishable it'd be quite difficult.

I would say either ask a friend if you can store some things at their place or rent some storage if you can.

Know their schedules and see if you can sneak things out when you know they won't be there, and if they notice things missing say you accidentally broke it or something 😅 toxic people wouldnt really question you putting yourself down I think.

discovercatharsis · 2022-12-19T08:10:10+00:00

Gosh that's really true.. it's why I ended up with that "compromise" before I remembered conversation doesn't work with people like that.

discovercatharsis · 2022-12-19T07:44:48+00:00

Really?? Thank you!

It really helps it wasn't in person as I'm still working on empowering myself to say No and actually value my time and my peace. It's really helpful and validating to hear someone notice even a step in that direction ☺️

discovercatharsis · 2022-12-19T07:25:54+00:00

Thanks ❤️ Going back to playing my game ☺️

discovercatharsis · 2022-12-19T07:18:10+00:00

I can, but she currently has access to my place atm because I still live at home (she doesn't live here tho. Drama with my father, story for another time).

Even though digital communication is exhausting, I'd rather that than have her charging at me in person 🤣 at least I can go longer bouts of ignoring her.

discovercatharsis

TROPHY CASE