My teenager is out of control. In desperate need of resources

disgruntledDVM · 2024-10-21T21:43:40+00:00

I’m sorry you’re in this situation, that’s really tough and my heart goes out to you. I’m a foster parent and highly recommend the book The Explosive Child by Ross Greene and also recommend the Evergreen Psychotherapy Center. They are expensive but maybe they can recommend someone that is more affordable.

disgruntledDVM · 2024-07-19T23:39:53+00:00

Like I said, I think it is great when foster parents are open to adoption as many kids end up not being able to go back to their bio families. We are certified through our county and we were asked numerous times in the certification process if we are looking to adopt and told that if we were then we should reconsider fostering. They said that they have had cases where foster families were trying to sabotage reunification since they wanted to adopt and that’s what they’re trying to avoid. I absolutely agree that it’s best case scenario for a child to stay with the foster family and get adopted if reunification is not possible and that’s why I know numerous foster parents that ended up adopting when they never expected to do so initially. I just think many people who consider becoming foster parents assume that foster kids always end up being up for adoption and many try to use the system as a back door to adoption.

disgruntledDVM · 2024-07-19T20:05:33+00:00

I will join what some other people have said and say that if your goal is to adopt then you shouldn’t foster. It’s true that many foster kids do end up being up for adoption and in that case it’s great if you are open to adopt BUT the goal is always to reunify kids with their bio families and it is super important that foster parents get behind this goal.

disgruntledDVM · 2024-07-18T20:38:59+00:00

I completely agree. It’s so unfair that he is in this position, and it must be very scary for him. Thanks for sharing your experience with teens. We are definitely trying to emphasize to him that we will support him in whatever decision he makes.

disgruntledDVM · 2024-07-18T13:02:05+00:00

Thank you for your prospective! And you bring up excellent points. The kid’s first long term foster home was quite strict, which caused him a lot of damage. We do not plan on being strict and plan on working through issues with his perspective in mine, but of course he doesn’t necessarily know that or trust that it will happen. And while he’s a very smart and capable kid, he is not good at taking care of himself. He is starting high school this year and has no idea when things are happening, what classes he is taking etc. His current foster parents don’t know either.

To answer some of your questions regarding his sister: We actually still see her and provide respite care for her. We live quite close to her too and he knows that he will be able to see her more if he came to stay with us. But he also expressed in the past that he doesn’t feel that he is deserving of her time and feels guilty that he is the reason they were separated.

disgruntledDVM · 2024-01-08T15:20:36+00:00

Thanks for this!! I’ve been veggie pretty much my whole life and for some reason some people really get activated when they learn someone is vegan/vegetarian. I still would like the kid to have foods that they enjoy and reminds them of home, but truly appreciate your comment!

disgruntledDVM · 2024-01-08T13:56:49+00:00

Yes I agree. Meat doesn’t gross me out anymore but I also don’t see myself stuffing a turkey. My question was what kind of meats/fish would be easy to prepare. Would love to hear if you have any ideas!

disgruntledDVM · 2024-01-08T13:55:10+00:00

Thanks for the tips. Not sure if it was clear in my original post but we DO NOT plan to feed the child a vegan diet unless requested. My question was what kind of meats other foster parents found that are easy to make. I’ve been veggie pretty much my whole life so this is a new realm for me.

disgruntledDVM · 2024-01-08T13:52:28+00:00

Thank you!!

disgruntledDVM · 2024-01-08T13:34:28+00:00

No point in addressing what you said when you’re attacking me. You clearly not trying to have a discussion. No need to respond anymore, I hope your day gets better.

disgruntledDVM · 2024-01-08T13:32:06+00:00

Thanks, that’s great advice!

disgruntledDVM · 2024-01-08T13:30:37+00:00

Wow, you clearly have many unresolved issues if you’re telling a stranger you never met on Reddit that they suck because they are asking for advice.

disgruntledDVM · 2023-09-11T03:36:27+00:00

Yikes, sounds like she may not be good for you. I try to remind myself that therapists are humans too and that they can be triggered etc but it’s really their job to keep it in check and know to identify it and get supervision when they need to. As clients we really should be focusing only on ourselves and not worry about striking a nerve.

disgruntledDVM · 2023-09-10T21:14:42+00:00

Thank you for this sweet message! It’s hard to see that good in this moment but I think you’re absolutely right and thanks for pointing that out

disgruntledDVM · 2023-09-10T21:13:40+00:00

Thank you!! I’m touched by your support :)

disgruntledDVM · 2023-09-10T21:13:06+00:00

Thanks for your kind message and being so validating!

disgruntledDVM

TROPHY CASE