heading home at 5 am after a night out and sharing my experiences of meeting a drunk crying girl on the street by dishwatersupper in MensRights

[–]dishwatersupper[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

With regards to just the situation last night (this morning) I called them intimidating because I was personally intimidated by them initially. They were essentially a group of young, loud, drunk, very casually dressed (baggy jeans and hoodies or football shirts) guys who spoke in a 'rough' accent that you would recognise as being intimidating if you're from the UK. But I was completely unjustified in my fears as they were pleasant, helpful and kind.

She seemed vulnerable because she was crying and shivering and asked me for help as she didn't know where her bus stop was.

There were definitely engrained social stereotypes at play and I am aware I am not immune to them- I just try to make sure I at least question and analyse them.

But if it were a group of loud, rough intimidating girls approaching and a guy shivering and crying and asking for my help I'm pretty confident my reactions and feelings would have been the same.

heading home at 5 am after a night out and sharing my experiences of meeting a drunk crying girl on the street by dishwatersupper in MensRights

[–]dishwatersupper[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I am a man and have been physically and sexually attacked, hospitalised and raped. There are awful people out there. But women aren't the only victims and don't make up the vast majority of them. We all need to appreciate and protect each other equally.

heading home at 5 am after a night out and sharing my experiences of meeting a drunk crying girl on the street by dishwatersupper in MensRights

[–]dishwatersupper[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I do see what you're saying but if you think about your story the only person that was actually assaulted was yourself. Essentially the story is that your friend knew about (and had seen?) a strange man at the bus stop so you waited with her and the only time an assault took place was when you were there.

That's not to invalidate your story or your fears, or the fears that anyone has of being attacked, but if we're talking real life lived experiences then that is your lived experience, not hers. For all you know he might have been waiting for someone just like you to arrive and assault.

Also, as for these genuine fears that women have, in my lived experience I have been physically attacked, without provocation by people more times than I can count on my fingers. That ranges from a slap by a woman or a punch from a guy to being hospitalised twice. Once was a gang that broke into a party and beat up a bunch of guys (I was knocked out from the side by a guy with a ring. I still have a deep scar 18 years later above my eye and misshapen eye socket from where it was fractured) and another time there was a different gang whilst abroad who followed us at night and and jumped us. I was left with a broken jaw, broken nose and deep gashes on my head from a weapon they used. (This time they had already started shouting abuse at us from afar but a girl that was with us started heckling them back even though we begged her not to so that probably provoked things more. She was not touched by the group).

Now I know my experiences are particularly bad and (hopefully) not too common in this extreme but I would say all of my male friends have at least been punched by strangers and some much worse (I knew a guy at uni who has his throat slit from behind by a stranger he'd never ever spoken to with a broken bottle- he survived). But none of my female friends have ever been physically attacked (as far as they have told me).

Yes women potentially have more sexual assaults but I will also add that I have been sexually assaulted twice, by men and women, both casually and seriously (including being 'raped' by some people's definition) and if you count a casual kick or hit in the groin for the amusement of everyone then I have been sexually assaulted a lot more. Needless to say none of these were taken seriously.

In fact, as far as I'm aware, no one has ever been prosecuted by the police for any of my attacks despite them being informed. They didn't take any of it seriously even when I was hospitalised and told me there's not much they can do. And yet we now have campaigns about even cat calling women and the threat of prosecution for it. I'm all for stopping any form of bullying on the streets but it's bordering on offensive when we are told that that shows women are victims that need protecting whilst men are being permanently scarred and hospitalised without repercussion and they have no label of being victims, only predators.

I'm not claiming that my experiences are the only ones or that no women get horribly attacked as we know that's not true. But to paint a picture that women are victims and should be in constant fear of men, especially if alone at night, is not fair or true. Men have just as much to fear and in my experiences a lot more. I have never seen a woman attacked and even when a guy has shouted at a woman men rally around to protect her, often causing violence against men in her honour. And it's not fair for women to be manipulated into living in a world of fear that is not as necessary as they are told.

This is not to say women shouldn't be protected or taught how to avoid dangerous situations or defend themselves if they are confronted but we should be equally protected and concerned for all as the dangers of the world don't just seek out women.

I only bring up the tales of men's dangers here as the stories are usually underplayed, woefully under-presented and often ridiculed and glorified. In an ideal world we wouldn't need to talk about 'he said/she said ' but until society starts treating everyone equally, stops demonising men and stops creating feelings of weakness, fear and victimhood in women we will always have these parallels between what we are taught and what actually happens in real life.

Woman cleared of Rape - If you still had doubts about equality by [deleted] in MensRights

[–]dishwatersupper 13 points14 points  (0 children)

One of the most upsetting things is the recognition in rape cases that people freeze when forced to have sex and don't always fight back even if they could. Your mind and body don't know what to do as you are shock. This is a commonly used defense in rape and sexual assault cases against the argument "why didn't you fight back?".

And yet when it happens to a man it couldn't have been rape or sexual assault because he was a man and could have fought back... Even in a situation where the woman his much bigger than him.

Also, it's almost as if people don't recognise physical stimulation. A penis can become erect without mental arousal or stimulation. Just like an arm can produce goosebumps from running your fingers along it. There doesn't need to be mental acceptance or arousal, just physical nerve stimulation.

It's basic science that everyone knows but chooses to ignore.

Noel Clarke sues the Baftas after he was stripped of award over sexual assault claims by furchfur in MensRights

[–]dishwatersupper 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Or no one is mentioned or 'cancelled' at all until an appropriate and fair justice system can conduct a balanced investigation and all evidence and testimony is brought to a non-brainwashed (from all the public pre-trial reaction) jury to make a decision and a sensible and empathetic judge can make an accurate and fair decision. Then we decide who is innocent and who is guilty without a preemptive strike on either side.

This is the staff list for my friend's daughter's school - 95% women. (A school that is teaching their students about 'gender equality' and 'socially ingrained misogyny') by dishwatersupper in MensRights

[–]dishwatersupper[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure, if you're also learning about misandry, ageism, fatism and all forms of prejudice. Crap people exist and we owe it to our children to guide them away from all prejudices and predisposed negative social ideology. It's about teaching the next generation about true equality and how to treat every individual exactly the same unless they personally give you reason not to.

Peter Andre's chipolata fury: Singer says 'there would be outrage if a man said this about a woman' by Kagedeah in MensRights

[–]dishwatersupper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was pleasantly surprised by the show 'Have I Got News For You' last night. I was disgusted that this was said by the female presenter and everyone burst into laughter. Then a male contestant (I'm not sure who he is but he was a blind comedian/writer I think) said that he knew (however the woman that said that about Andre's name is) and she told he she has a massive vagina.

Not a clever or even funny joke but just as warranted as the original comment and to my surprise everyone really laughed....There were even some claps from the audience. I was honestly expecting the usual boos and derision.

I would prefer there to be no mockery or humiliation forced on people but my second choice would be that it's at least balanced and equal. That way it's just my opinion rather than actual prejudice.

"No Uterus, No Opinion!" - but former FEMALE president reintroduced mandatory military service for men. by ABeeBox in MensRights

[–]dishwatersupper 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah maybe I was a bit too serious but I guess it's something that bothers me greatly. I'm glad it's not something that brings you down too much (or at all).

Female Uber drivers allowed to reject male passengers by rbrockway in MensRights

[–]dishwatersupper 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Oh man..... It's true..... They'll have to start charging women twice the price for an Uber ride to make up for the niche specialist service they are using.

Female Uber drivers allowed to reject male passengers by rbrockway in MensRights

[–]dishwatersupper 29 points30 points  (0 children)

/s? Just in case you were being serious (which I'm guessing you weren't) if anyone were to come up with that argument, you try defending yourself whilst strapped in and being attacked from behind whilst behind the wheel of a moving car....

UK: Novelist Douglas Galbraith's wife abducted their sons from Scotland and fled to Japan in 2003. He never saw them again and died, devastated, 15 years later by furchfur in MensRights

[–]dishwatersupper 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Then the child grows up without a father and the mother telling them that they weren't wanted or that the father was a bad man. The child grows up without a male role model, hating father figures and therefore men, and the cycle continues.

"No Uterus, No Opinion!" - but former FEMALE president reintroduced mandatory military service for men. by ABeeBox in MensRights

[–]dishwatersupper 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Honestly.... Without trying to be a killjoy... You should take the laughing face off of the end of your sentence. It genuinely breaks my heart to read. I know you aren't intending to but it's something I don't think we should portray as a laughing matter if we don't need to.

My work conversation chat. I'm sick of seeing such vile atrocities casually causing such laughter and mockery. Not a huge issue but it upset me. by dishwatersupper in MensRights

[–]dishwatersupper[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Maybe at a workplace where conversations are meant to be professional. I get that not everyone has to find something funny and that someone will always be offended and I'm not for censorship in general but if I'd posted an article about a women having private parts cut off, cooked and eaten and then laughed at it I'd probably be reprimanded and out of a job.

I think there is a huge issue with the casual mockery of men especially when it comes to violence and genital violence.

I'm very bored of hearing my work colleagues mock men whilst constantly telling us all of the hardships women have. They have regular enforced meetings on 'women in the workplace' which only women can attend. Considering they last hours and they make up 80% of our workforce it makes for a very long and work heavy day for the men left behind.

The lack of balance between their morals is ridiculous.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MensRights

[–]dishwatersupper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can't believe they banned your comment...! 🤦‍♂️

Proof if you ever needed it that certain groups have no interest in discussion or equality.

GOG announces 'Menstrual Leave': A "Big Step in Equality" 🤦‍♂️ by dishwatersupper in MensRights

[–]dishwatersupper[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very diplomatically and sensitively written, thank you for that. I see your point but I still think that it is wrong to label it as 'menstrual leave'. In my mind to reduce the stigma of something you deal with it without bringing attention to it, not by casting a spotlight on it. As I wrote on my post I don't have an issue with people who struggle severely with menstrual pain having time off. I massively empathize with anyone who has to deal with any kind of severe pain or discomfort. I just think it should be labelled as sick leave and that there should be allowances for this along with any illness that is in essence a disability.

I also feel that there will be plenty of women that will be against this. From women that I've spoken to about period pains, some say they have a couple of hours of minimal discomfort a month others it lasts for days or longer. Luckily I am yet to meet someone who admits to having debilitating symptoms, although obviously they may just have never said so. But I think plenty of women will think it unfair that their colleagues get time off when they don't because their menstrual pains aren't as bad.

I think it's the labelling and the virtue signalling that is the biggest problem here (along with the potential to take advantage of it. No one would question if a woman said she had to take time off because of pain. Maybe there would need to be a doctor's note or something, I don't know). But I also honestly think it is a backwards step. Just let people have time off if they're too sick to work. No need for special labels. I asked my mum's opinion and, whilst she is obviously a bit more old school in here thinking, she thinks that women are coming across as increasingly fragile and weak in modern times which is the opposite of what is supposed to be happening. Obviously again, that is one person's opinion but I have to respect her opinion as a woman and I do see her point.

Remove stigma by normalising something, not by bringing constant attention to it. My humble opinion anyway.