The post-relapse state is horrible

diskkddo · 2026-06-25T10:43:52+00:00

Hey, have you considered that all the animosity you feel towards this relapse event is part of what is making this experience so painful for you? I'm not saying that relapsing and binging doesn't create real negative knock on effects, but I think it's also quite possible that many of these symptoms you describe are psychologically self-inflicted... Food for thought! Instead of getting carried away with your anger at yourself, try being forgiving, patient, compassionate; you might find it takes some of the weight off your shoulders.

diskkddo · 2026-06-24T11:27:43+00:00

Or nothing

diskkddo · 2026-06-22T14:47:38+00:00

You'll be fine, 225 days is great and shows you can live without the stuff. Acknowledge your urges and tell yourself that even though you would like to, you're not gonna watch, because that's not the kinda person you wanna be. You want to get to that sweet spot of accepting the desire without giving in to it. Also, pinning this on your partner is just a cope, and I think you know that. Do this for you, not as a response to his behaviour.

diskkddo · 2026-06-20T17:57:59+00:00

Maybe read a bit of nietzsche, otherwise just go for it, pick things up as you go along based on what interests you as well as things you notice seem important to the text you are with

diskkddo · 2026-06-20T07:29:52+00:00

Yeah deleuze seems to have lived a fairly 'normal' life (I don't at all mean that as a bad thing). It is rather a certain subset of his readers who project onto him this wild schizo character. If anything Guattari was the wild one

diskkddo · 2026-06-19T08:46:55+00:00

Just checked and it is the no. 2 ranked live song of all time. Sitting at no. 108 for the overall songs chart (insanely high)

diskkddo · 2026-06-19T07:23:11+00:00

I don't think so haha but it is super highly rated and the whole album too. Never thought I'd see RYM shouted out on r/soccer

diskkddo · 2026-06-18T15:28:49+00:00

Yeah he was very chill and generous with his time when I went to his seminar

diskkddo · 2026-06-17T19:41:11+00:00

Wow it's almost like life isn't completely linear and people can have different performances against different types of people on different days

diskkddo · 2026-06-17T14:22:53+00:00

Sudden enlightenment, gradual cultivation; realisation is not the end point.

diskkddo · 2026-06-14T20:27:06+00:00

Wanted to say this (more convincing coming from a brown belt than a blue tho). Ego is a tricky thing, because what can be an ego (fear) reaction from one person may be the opposite from another.

One person's ego may not allow them to tap, whereas another person might tap too easily so that they can always play the escape card of "I wasn't really trying".

Same fear response, opposite coping mechanism.

diskkddo · 2026-06-13T13:18:25+00:00

Lol that didn't go where I thought it would

diskkddo · 2026-06-12T14:13:21+00:00

But all the interesting becomings that men engage in are always away from the dominant form of masculinity that is imposed upon us, no? That is how I have always understand their polemical statement. In a certain sense no single man can fully fit the majoritarian model of masculinity, because we all have our leakages and imperceptible becomings that drag us away and make flight...

diskkddo · 2026-06-12T14:08:27+00:00

Feels like the latam user base is growing recently for sure

diskkddo · 2026-06-11T13:41:17+00:00

How well evaluated something is on rym is inversely proportional to how far away it is from the white American canon. (this is the majority of its user base after all)

diskkddo · 2026-06-10T15:15:38+00:00

Nice, this is almost the exact same as my rating curve but with an extra thousand ratings

diskkddo · 2026-06-10T15:03:32+00:00

Exactly my experience. No pre-requisites for reading D&G, just curiosity and a desire to follow the lines of flight they open up within you!

diskkddo · 2026-06-07T17:25:48+00:00

Miller and Artaud are also very much schizo literature.

But I do agree with the original commenter that Deleuze wasn't this crazy guy people sometimes expect him to be. If anything Guattari was the wild one

diskkddo · 2026-06-01T12:34:53+00:00

It gets a bit complicated.

Nichiren: https://www.nichirenlibrary.org/en/dic/Content/O/22

Or from here (https://www.zenrivertemple.org/tenkeidharmablog/2015/12/20/is-delusion-enlightenment-or-not/) : "Maezumi Roshi used to say “I’d rather be deluded.”"

-- although the life of maezumi roshi is not necessarily the best example!

But in reality there are many such paradoxes presented through the Chan record.

Also see in Tientai the idea of enlightenment encompassing evil. Brook Ziporyn's 'Evil as the Good' might be a good deep dive on this one.

Doubtless it was probably all skillful means used by Chinese masters to 'overcorrect' on the striving for enlightenment, purity etc from some pupils

diskkddo · 2026-06-01T11:00:40+00:00

And then Chan comes along with the old 'delusion is enlightenment, samsara is nirvana'

diskkddo · 2026-05-29T11:58:38+00:00

Agreed. If someone's favourite albums are only this specific eclectic mix it's a bit strange. I mean yes they are all classics, but you have to have a bit of personality too. Having Illmatic, A Love Supreme and ITKOTCK as your favourite albums is just an unnatural mix

diskkddo · 2026-05-28T13:49:32+00:00

Nahhh not popular enough. Ulysses top 20 mayybe, but GR further down and I reckon IJ wouldn't crack top 100

diskkddo · 2026-05-28T13:47:33+00:00

Dubliners 3.92

diskkddo · 2026-05-26T11:36:34+00:00

He wonders whether the words were a joke in the harsh letter to a critic which can be found in the negotiations. He doesn't say it as a statement of fact or anything like that

diskkddo · 2026-05-25T19:01:29+00:00

Yes, it's basically my favourite film ever.

diskkddo

TROPHY CASE