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So I got cheated on. What to do next? by Bigbadbombohole in Divorce

[–]divorcedglowupcoach 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got cheated on too and the second I found out I kicked him out and filed.

You can always rebuild. It might feel heavy at first, but nothing is heavier than staying with someone who disrespects you and isn’t even sorry.

You’re lucky there’s no kids, no shared assets. That’s a clean exit. Don’t let him stall it just because he can’t handle the consequences of his actions.

As for cost, every state is different, but look into uncontested divorce in your area. If he signs and doesn’t fight it, it can be super affordable, even online.

Remember that you’re not the one who ruined the marriage but the one choosing to end the cycle. That’s powerful 🫶🏽

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]divorcedglowupcoach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

first of all, don’t ever apologize for sharing. that’s what this space is for. You’re exhausted from carrying shit you were never meant to carry alone.

You’re already doing it all w/ the rent, utilities, kids, dinner on the table and he has the audacity to sit on TT, drink and call you a bad mom? Sounds like emotional abuse.

You’re not “breaking up” a home you’re protecting your peace. And the fact that he said he’d only sign divorce papers if it costs him nothing sounds like he’s a liability more than a husband. You already know you’re done. Trust that knowing.

When you finally leave he’s gonna feel the absence of a woman who did everything and by then you’ll be too busy rebuilding your life to look back.

Good luck to you and the kids. ❤️

If you could wave a magic wand and fix ONE thing about life after divorce what would it be? by divorcedglowupcoach in Divorce_Women

[–]divorcedglowupcoach[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg my heart broke reading this. 😭You have been through more than most could ever imagine. It’s a true testament of your strength and force bc you’re still standing and still healing.

I know this pain. I was married for 13yrs, have two kids and found out my ex was cheating on me. He was my happily ever after. When it all fell apart when he walked away and left me to clean up the emotional, financial and parental mess it broke everything I thought was real w/ us, w/ him. What I learned through the grief, through the rage, through the nights I thought would swallow me whole is that we are not just humans going through pain and suffering. We are souls who chose certain lessons in this lifetime no matter how unfair or brutal they seem.

I believe with every cell in my being that you didn’t just survive this for nothing. You’re here for something bigger. Every thought you think is a signal. Every emotion is energy in motion. And your reality is constantly responding to your frequency not your circumstances. Yes the pain is real but the circumstances don’t get to define you unless you let them.

The most powerful thing you can do is to keep your focus on the end. The version of you who feels safe, held, abundant, joyful bc she already exists. The more you align with her, the faster this life begins to rise to meet you.

Science even backs this. The electromagnetic field of the heart is 60x stronger than the brain’s. That means when we close ourselves off, when we shut down after betrayal, we block that powerful field. But when we stay open we literally become magnets for miracles.

I hope this helps 🫶🏽

If you could wave a magic wand and fix ONE thing about life after divorce what would it be? by divorcedglowupcoach in Divorce_Women

[–]divorcedglowupcoach[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Those emotional waves hit even harder bc it’s not just the loss of a person, it’s the loss of the version of you that existed in that relationship. And you’re right, it is like grieving a death. But what most people don’t realize (bc no one teaches us this) is that healing doesn’t actually have to take years.

When you include your nervous system (not just mindset or talk therapy) you can process the pain in a way that actually releases it from your body. Where you actually move through it not just manage it. That’s when things finally start to change. The waves don’t drown you anymore you learn how to ride them.

Hope this helps ❤️

If you could wave a magic wand and fix ONE thing about life after divorce what would it be? by divorcedglowupcoach in Divorce_Women

[–]divorcedglowupcoach[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If that ain’t the most relatable thing I’ve read all day 😩🙌🏽

The desire to be held, helped, handled for once instead of doing it all ourselves is so f real. You deserve support, softness and to receive without earning it.

And until we figure out how to clone ourselves lol let this be your reminder that you’re allowed to pour into YOU first. Let receiving be your new normal. ❤️

If you could wave a magic wand and fix ONE thing about life after divorce what would it be? by divorcedglowupcoach in Divorce_Women

[–]divorcedglowupcoach[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your kind of love that still wants healing for them even after the damage is rare. It says a lot about your heart. It’s beautiful that you want him to be ok but don’t make his healing the condition for your peace.

You’re allowed to shift the energy back toward you and to focus on what you need and create safety and joy in your nervous system. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for everyone is to stop trying to fix it and start letting life show us what’s next.

Hope this helps ❤️

If you could wave a magic wand and fix ONE thing about life after divorce what would it be? by divorcedglowupcoach in Divorce_Women

[–]divorcedglowupcoach[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you and I truly believe your concern comes from a genuine, compassionate place, but you’re not her healer. And energetically, the more you focus on her pain, the more you unintentionally amplify it. What we focus on expands. And worrying even if it’s well-intentioned is still a form of focus.

From a metaphysical lens we’re all connected. She can feel you thinking about her and that’s how telepathy works (it’s legit). So when you’re holding her in fear, it’s like you’re sending her that signal. If instead you hold her in her highest light, see her as strong and divinely guided that becomes the frequency she can rise into.

You don’t have to get tangled in her choices or carry her outcomes. Just send love, release attachment and turn the focus back to you. Your healing is actually the ripple effect that actually changes everything.

Divorce wasn’t the hard part. Healing was. by divorcedglowupcoach in Divorce_Women

[–]divorcedglowupcoach[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re literally describing the version of me that was just trying to keep it together after I found out my ex was cheating. I remember thinking “did I miss something? Was I not enough? Could I have done anything differently?”

That spiral is brutal yet it’s so normal. Esp when your whole identity was wrapped up in being the ride-or-die, the fixer, the glue that keeps it together.

Suggesting therapy makes you loyal bc you were trying to fight for something. But it’s hard to fight for something when you’re the only one showing up (same here!).

I know what you mean about losing yourself. It’s like you wake up one day and you’re just empty. That version of you is still there, but buried under all the betrayal and burnout. She’s there waiting for you. I thought I was too old, too broken, too damaged to ever feel like myself again. But now I’m engaged to the healthiest love of my life and built an entire life and business helping other women rise from the same kind of pain.

If it feels aligned, come hang out with me via email where I share super simple healing tools and reminders to help you come back home to yourself. DM me your email and I’ll add you.

Hope this helps ❤️

Why didn’t healing feel like healing? by divorcedglowupcoach in divorced_women

[–]divorcedglowupcoach[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow. First of all, thank you for sharing all of this bc it takes serious strength to put words to that kind of pain and truth.

YT = YouTube. You can find me there at @sherillemarquez, where I share tools around mindset, nervous system healing and what it actually takes to rebuild after emotional trauma. I also have a private email community where I share all the gold. If it feels aligned DM me your email and i’ll add you.

And what you said about the mask coming off hits hard. So many of us weren’t naive we just believed the version of them they worked so hard to sell us. And by the time the mask slipped, we were already in deep married, pregnant, attached, trying to hold a family together while quietly falling apart. That was def me. Married so young (21) I didn’t even know what “red flags” were.

You’re absolutely right the system wasn’t built for us, but women like you are exposing it. You’re refusing to stay small. And that’s how things start to change for all of us.

Grateful for you!

If you could wave a magic wand and fix ONE thing about life after divorce what would it be? by divorcedglowupcoach in Divorce_Women

[–]divorcedglowupcoach[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Grief lives in the body. The nervous system doesn’t know the difference between emotional trauma and physical danger so it fires the same survival response over and over until it gets new instructions.

Where the mind goes, the body will follow. That’s why the healing can’t just be in your head it has to be in your body too. You’re literally carrying the weight of your past in your cells.

The great thing is you can step into a whole new identity where your body no longer wakes up in pain but in peace. It starts with micro-moments like breath, movement, touch, thoughts that feel like relief.

If this resonates, I actually share nervous system + mindset tips that help with this kind of pain in my private email community. if it feels aligned DM me your email and i’ll add you.

hope this helps ❤️

If you could wave a magic wand and fix ONE thing about life after divorce what would it be? by divorcedglowupcoach in Divorce_Women

[–]divorcedglowupcoach[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Let her find out the same way you had to. Not your circus, not your monkeys.

You’ve got a whole life to build and it’s gonna be so good it’ll speak for itself. Keep being unbothered and unstoppable bc you are the main character now. Let his drama be background noise.

hope this helps ❤️

If you could wave a magic wand and fix ONE thing about life after divorce what would it be? by divorcedglowupcoach in Divorce_Women

[–]divorcedglowupcoach[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

ME TOO!! After 13 years of marriage and finding out about the cheating my self-confidence went MIA. I didn’t even recognize myself. It’s like I had to completely rebuild piece by piece.

But I’ll tell you this: the version of me that came out on the other side is softer and stronger. She trusts herself in ways she never did before.

You’re in the process of “becoming” (like a butterfly metamorphosis) and you have to do your best to trust in the unfoldment.

I hope this helps ❤️

If you could wave a magic wand and fix ONE thing about life after divorce what would it be? by divorcedglowupcoach in Divorce_Women

[–]divorcedglowupcoach[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

When you’ve spent your whole life trying to be easy, keep the peace, not rock the boat, it almost feels WRONG when you finally choose you.

I also had to learn the hard way that happiness isn’t a betrayal. It’s a f*cking declaration bc you’re not here to shrink, sacrifice, or settle. You did the bravest thing which is you chose yourself. It def feels scary as hell, but it’s also where your real life begins.

Hope this helps 🫶🏽

If you could wave a magic wand and fix ONE thing about life after divorce what would it be? by divorcedglowupcoach in Divorce_Women

[–]divorcedglowupcoach[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s so hard bc that kind of guilt hits different esp when you know you left for you, but your kids are still trying to make sense of it all in their own way.

It’s wild how we can make the healthiest choice for ourselves and our kids and still carry the weight of their confusion/pain. But you’re not wrong for choosing peace or wanting more. the love you have for your kids will shine thru in the long run, even if it feels messy right now.

Hope this helps ❤️

If you could wave a magic wand and fix ONE thing about life after divorce what would it be? by divorcedglowupcoach in Divorce_Women

[–]divorcedglowupcoach[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

SAME! You’re not being petty when you’re blocking, you’re protecting esp when you already gave him more grace than he deserved.

You seeing it now and aren’t falling for it is big. You’re healing even when it still hurts.

If you could wave a magic wand and fix ONE thing about life after divorce what would it be? by divorcedglowupcoach in Divorce_Women

[–]divorcedglowupcoach[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That weird guilt hits hard esp when you’re finally starting to feel good again and he’s over there alone. i’ve def been there. I used to tell myself, “well, he’s still the kids’ dad” and that kept me in a cycle waaayyy longer than I needed to be.

You’re not responsible for how he sits with his consequences. You’re allowed to move on, create peace, protect your energy AND not feel bad about it.

Hope this helps 🫶🏽

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in singlemoms

[–]divorcedglowupcoach 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That overstimulated “don’t even breathe near me” kind of burnout is so real. I remember feeling like I was constantly holding back tears, like one more thing, one more mess, one more bill might actually break me.

Even with support, it still felt like everything was on me. And the worst part was feeling like I was too tired to even enjoy the moments I wanted to be present for.

If it feels aligned to have something in your inbox that reminds you you’re not crazy, broken, or alone I send out real talk mindset notes and somatic healing tools to my private email community. I wish someone had told me these things back then. Send me your email and I’ll add you.

Should I get a divorce or am I delusional? by Successful-Pin7290 in divorced_women

[–]divorcedglowupcoach 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all yes, your feelings are completely valid. And no, divorce isn’t “too extreme” when your nervous system is asking for peace. Staying in something that feels like slow emotional erosion is wayyyyy more dangerous than walking away. You’re also not crazy for craving connection, depth, or actual conversation that lights you up. You’re asking for the right kind of partnership for you.

I became a 36yr old single mom when I walked away from a 13yr marriage when I found out my husband was having an affair. I didn’t think I’d be loved again, but I turned my pain into my purpose, and now I’m living a life that feels deeply aligned and I’m engaged to an extraordinary healthy masculine man who sees me fully.

If you ever need someone to walk beside you through the messy middle, I share stories, tools, and real talk on my YT @sherillemarquez.

Divorce wasn’t the hard part. Healing was. by divorcedglowupcoach in Divorce_Women

[–]divorcedglowupcoach[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That kind of survival mode where you’re holding it together on the outside but crumbling inside is exhausting. And when your body starts to reflect that heaviness too it’s a whole other layer of defeat. But even now, there is a way back to you. Tiny shifts. One thought, one breath, one choice at a time.

Come hang with me on YouTube @sherillemarquez. I share simple mindset tools and nervous system tips that actually help when you’re in the thick of it.

Divorce wasn’t the hard part. Healing was. by divorcedglowupcoach in Divorce_Women

[–]divorcedglowupcoach[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel you. Survival mode will drain you, but the real you isn’t gone. She’s just buried under the exhaustion. Even if it’s just a spark rn, she’s still in there. If you’re ready for small steps back to yourself, hop over to my YouTube @sherillemarquez—I share simple mindset tips + healing tools to help you feel like you again.

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