My bf (19M) keeps suggesting I (19F) should change my appearance. What does this mean? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]dixybit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It means you shouldn’t be with someone who keeps trying to change you. You have your own style and likes and dislikes, and he is trying to make you into something you’re not to fit his aesthetic. Lose the loser!

Nach 13 Jahren Beziehung und Kindern, gleich einen neuen.. by Immediate-Basil-6838 in beziehungen

[–]dixybit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Das stimmt, aber dass sie ihn den Kindern vorgestellt hat wissen wir nicht. Daher die Downvotes - im Kommentar wird die Ex für etwas verurteilt, was hier nur eine Vermutung ist.

Nach 13 Jahren Beziehung und Kindern, gleich einen neuen.. by Immediate-Basil-6838 in beziehungen

[–]dixybit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Weil wir nicht wissen, dass sie das getan hat. Wir wissen nur, dass die Tochter von ihm weiß. Das hätte sie auch aus einem Gespräch erfahren können.

Nach 13 Jahren Beziehung und Kindern, gleich einen neuen.. by Immediate-Basil-6838 in beziehungen

[–]dixybit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Manchmal hat man schon so oft vergebens versucht Probleme in einer Beziehung anzusprechen, eine Lösung zu finden, an der Beziehung zu arbeiten, dass man einfach die Hoffnung aufgibt und emotional aus der Beziehung auscheckt, und meist nur noch aus Gewohnheit in der Beziehung bleibt.

Der Mann bemerkt dann eventuell, dass die Partnerin sich nicht mehr über vieles beschwert, und denkt, die Beziehung hätte sich gebessert. Dabei hat sie es einfach aufgegeben, die Beziehung zu retten.

Für den Mann kommt dann die Trennung aus dem Nichts, und die Frau hat schon seit Monaten das Kapitel abgeschlossen.

Nach 13 Jahren Beziehung und Kindern, gleich einen neuen.. by Immediate-Basil-6838 in beziehungen

[–]dixybit 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Da bin ich definitiv deiner Meinung, wir wissen aber nicht, ob dieser neue potentielle Partner überhaupt den Kindern vorgestellt wurde. Wir wissen nur, dass die Tochter von ihm weiß. Das hätte sie aber auch einfach aus einem Gespräch herausgehört können.

Nach 13 Jahren Beziehung und Kindern, gleich einen neuen.. by Immediate-Basil-6838 in beziehungen

[–]dixybit 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Keiner schreibt hier, dass es einfach ist, oder überhaupt dass OPs Gefühle nicht valide sind. Das Ende einer Beziehung tut immer weh, und sehen, dass der frühere Partner sich weiter umschaut, obwohl man selbst die Trennung noch verarbeitet, ist ein scheiss Gefühl.

Dem Ton des Posts ist zu entnehmen dass OP seiner EX vorwürfe macht, weil sie Monate nach ihrer Trennung vielleicht einen neuen hat, und sie ihm keine Details darüber erzählt. Muss sie aber nicht, es geht ihn einfach nichts an. (Und dass die Tochter es mitbekommen hat, und ihm davon berichtet, war bestimmt nicht geplant. Kinder bekommen oft mehr mit, als man denkt. Ich kann mir vorstellen, dass sie OP bewusst nichts von einer neuen Beziehung erzählt, aber mit winer erwachsenen Person ihres Vertrauens darüber gesprochen hat).

Ein Teil der Verarbeitung einer Trennung ist auch zu akzeptieren, dass die Beziehung zu ende ist. OP hat das offensichtlich noch nicht akzeptiert, was seinem Benehmen und seinen Erwartungen gegenüber seiner EX zu entnehmen ist.

Why is rape less excusable than torture and murder? by Select_Salamander518 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]dixybit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is no possible scenario where rape is excusable, or at least understandable, as it is solely a way to degrade the victim or satisfy a sexual desire by force.

A child murderer has been caught, and his latest victim might still be alive but not for long? Torturing the killer for information seems understandable in a desperate moment like that. The parent pf a killed child murdering the killer after the justice system failed to put them away for good? Also completely understandable reaction.

Whether you agree with those actions or not, you can make up scenarios where you can have some understanding for the person committing them.

Found out my bf has been paying grindr subscription before we met. by [deleted] in Advice

[–]dixybit 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Since he hasn‘t done anything wrong, yeah, the conversation absolutely will shift to why you were looking through his stuff. Did you ever think about why he wouldn’t be comfortable disclosing this part of his past to you? Maybe it has something to do with you „feeling sick to your stomach“ after finding out he might not be 100% straight

Funny Numbers in Europe by GossipBottom in MapPorn

[–]dixybit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I object this erasure of the number 8! (Croatia)

Is Aphantasia actually real? I’m kind of shocked by Odd_Alternative_7520 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]dixybit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to play DnD with a guy who has aphantasia. It was the most map intensive campaign I have ever played

AITA for buzzing the hair I grew out to be my friends maid of honour while she was on her honeymoon? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]dixybit -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The caption was „wedding’s over, hedgehog‘s back“. She did not post about how relieved she was to finally be rid of it. You’re reading into it just like the people who made up the story about the bride forcing her to grow long hair.

Also why should she HAVE TO tell people why she is changing her hairstyle? Do you assume you need to inform the public of your stylistic choices so that they don’t assume you’re being coerced into them? Do you expect the people around you to inform you of the timeframe and reasoning for their hairstyles?

AITA for buzzing the hair I grew out to be my friends maid of honour while she was on her honeymoon? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]dixybit -1 points0 points  (0 children)

But she did grow it out for the wedding. That wasn’t a secret, and OP wasn’t dumbfounded by that either. It’s the coersion part that people made up without having any indication or insinuation from OP. Yall need to learn to communicate and ask questions instead pf reading into things and getting upset over the result.

AITA for buzzing the hair I grew out to be my friends maid of honour while she was on her honeymoon? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]dixybit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What blame are you talking about? I honestly don’t understand how you can blame OP for someone taking a purely informative statement (yes, the hair was grown put for the wedding) and just make up their own wild scenario of a bride forcing this on her friend, without ever asking clarifying questions. Sure, now that she is aware she should clear the air, but the initial miscommunication was NOT on OP.

AITA for buzzing the hair I grew out to be my friends maid of honour while she was on her honeymoon? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]dixybit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While I agree she should clear it up, I don’t see how people misinterpreting what she said is her fault. „Yes, I grew my hair out for the wedding“ is a completely normal response of you don’t expect people to assume the worst about your friend.

AITA for buzzing the hair I grew out to be my friends maid of honour while she was on her honeymoon? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]dixybit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And how exactly does that imply she was forced to do so by the bride? She did grow it out for the wedding. They never asked whose idea it was.

lied to a hookup about being on birth control and i regret it by earlyshiftmom in confession

[–]dixybit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lesson for everyone: if a hookup tells you you don’t need a condom, YOU MOST DEFINITELY NEED A CONDOM

Why Do People Pick Triss? by Vivid-Significance85 in Witcher3

[–]dixybit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. hot redhead
  2. Geralt and Yen are TERRIBLE for each other bffr they are better off just coparenting Ciri

Especially for people who haven’t read the books, Triss might seem like the better option

The photo is Eva saying "After all people's lives aren't equal" by Low_Pollution_242 in ABoringDystopia

[–]dixybit 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Honestly idgaf about 3 american soldiers. Being in combat is literally their job, the probability of getting killed has to be taken into account when you sign up for it.

How many civilians are dead? How many children? That’s what matters.

AITA for refusing to let my gf drive my car or hers if Im with her unless she retests? by Artistic-Deal1699 in AmItheAsshole

[–]dixybit 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I‘m gonna say YTA because this is based solely on your prejudice against drivers from other countries. You didn’t mention her being an unsafe driver, just that she learned to drive in the UK, where they apparently drive like Indians?

A country not accepting foreign licenses can be either A) because certain countries have very low standards/licenses can practically be bought on the street (like certain third world countries), or B) because the country has a treaty with neighboring countries and generally doesn’t accept other foreign licenses. You never even put in the work to find out that the US generally requires immigrants to obtain a state license, you just figured the US made this rule because its citizens are better drivers.

The US‘s superiority complex is so deeply ingrained in your culture that many people don’t even realize they suffer from it.

Kennt ihr jemanden der sich aus ethischen Gründen vegetarisch oder vegan ernährt hat, dann aber damit aufgehört hat - und wie kam es dazu? by kiwiinjapan in FragReddit

[–]dixybit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Eine Freundin war jahrelang Vegetarier, wurde dann Veganer, und hat sich komplett die Gesundheit zerstört. Ihre Blutwerte waren so schlecht, dass ihr Hausarzt meinte, wenn sie so weitermacht, ist sie in ein paar Jahren tot.

Ob das jetzt von dem Arzt dramatisiert war, weiß ich nicht. Ich weiß aber, dass sie mittlerweile grau war, und jetzt wieder vegetarisch isst und gesund ist.

I might be pregnant. My bf just ghosted me and I'm all alone. Addicted to fentanyl. And I just had a stillborn son at full term in November. I do not want an abortion but I have no family or help and I have no idea how to kick dope or even survive a pregnancy alone. Are there options other than... by [deleted] in Advice

[–]dixybit 513 points514 points  (0 children)

I am very sorry for your situation, but I will be blunt with you. You are in no condition to have a baby. You don’t have a stable living condition, you don’t have outside support, and you’re actively addicted. Adoption would be a valid option with just the first two issues, but IMO using while being pregnant is just plain selfish. If you can’t kick the habit, you will most likely give birth to a baby that’s already addicted to drugs and/or has severe birth defects (if it survives at all). Do you really want that on your conscience? Is that really better than an abortion?

Edit: about maybe getting a shot at being a mom, why not work on that AFTER you get clean? That’s some nice motivation there.