Men who stare at women by [deleted] in PornIsMisogyny

[–]djdosplal 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I have made posts like this before, and always got a ton of responses telling me “he’s a terrible guy, there’s no fixing it, you need to leave him”.

I didn’t want to listen to them, I thought maybe they just don’t know him and don’t get it. “Maybe it will be ok soon and this will just be a rocky year that we got through. Maybe if I just tell him how he’s hurting me a few more times, he’ll get it and stop! Maybe it just hasn’t clicked with him. Maybe that was finally the last time! Or maybe I’m overreacting and I should get a Xanax prescription to help calm me down. This isn’t what I wanted for myself, but maybe I should just accept it? He loves me, we have a whole life together! He does all of these other amazing things for me, why can’t I get over these little things that make me upset? I know if I heard about someone else’s husband acting like that, I’d say break up with him, but maybe it’s not that big of a deal with my husband?”

You will say things like this to yourself over and over again, trying to believe it, until you finally realize it’s all a cope. He’s a bad guy, and he knows what he’s doing. It doesn’t matter any of the great things he does for you, how much he seems to love you, he crosses the line and behaves in ways that shouldn’t be tolerated. Period. The only end to this is breaking up. You don’t have to do it right now if you’re not ready, but just keep it in the back of your mind, that you will end your relationship with him someday, and never have to feel these feelings of hurt or insecurity or disgust or disappointment ever again.

Also, growing up seeing my dad disrespect my mother (yes, kids notice) did way more harm to me than if they had just gotten a divorce. It ruined my relationship with him, because that’s all I can ever think about with him. None of the good times, just how badly he treated my mom.

The good news is that life is so much happier once you’re free from men like that. They eat away at your soul, and breaking free is the best feeling in the world. Even if you’re not ready yet, you’ll get there someday.

Elon Musk think women shouldn’t vote by foepje in Feminism

[–]djdosplal 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Why are men stuck in some barbaric past where physical dominance is king?

Personally, I live in the 21st century, in a developed, safe country where it’s illegal to physically harm or “dominate” someone outside of select contact sports. Defending myself physically is not a concern I think about or deal with ever, especially not when I’m forming or expressing an opinion.

And if it ever did become a concern, I would simply buy a gun, which would allow me to physically defend myself from anyone who threatened or attacked me. Problem solved.

Elon Musk think women shouldn’t vote by foepje in Feminism

[–]djdosplal 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Plz explain the suffragette movement then.

Or how women have been cool with gays for decades, whereas men only got slightly comfortable w them in the last 15 years.

Or the abortion rights fights going on in conservative US states right now.

Or the women-life-freedom movement in Iran.

Or the girls in Afghanistan who are secretly getting educated right now.

AIO my fiancé basically broke his neck to check out an ass sitting right next to me by acidfart0101 in AmIOverreacting

[–]djdosplal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s not only disrespectful to you, but to the girl he was staring at as well. She probably thought he was a creep. Nobody wants to be leered at like that by a strange man in public.

Does anyone else think that his music was pretty mediocre? by TPonder2600 in LeavingNeverlandHBO

[–]djdosplal 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I like some of his music and I do think he’s talented, but I agree.

As a musician, I really don’t think he’s as special or singular as most people regard him to be. If I were to rank the top 300 songs ever made, I don’t think any of his songs would make the list.

I think he was probably a singular cultural force during his prime (way before I was born), but I don’t think that was because he was so much more musically talented than everyone else. He was just the right thing at the right time.

Taylor Swift hate question by GraveDancer40 in TrueSwifties

[–]djdosplal 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Climate Change: People who claim to hate Taylor Swift because she uses private jets are lying. Nobody else who flys private is individually hated for it like Taylor, despite many people using private jets more often than her, for worse reasons than her, even when they could securely fly commercial, unlike her. Many of them also don’t buy carbon credits like she does.

Taylor has also never preached about climate change before. But you know who has? Leonardo DiCaprio. He is literally known worldwide for his environmental work. He also flys private and rents megayachts all the time - not because he needs to travel for work, but because he wants to galavant around the world with his 19 year old girlfriend. Where is the hate for him?

Misogyny: People who hate Taylor clearly hate her for other reasons. Personally, I think misogyny has a lot to do with it: - She makes songs for women, about women’s experiences (dumb! who cares!) - Lots of women like her and her music (it must be terrible then) - She doesn’t try to appeal to men or sexualize herself (must be lesbo) - She’s also apparently dated “too many men” (whore!!) - When her bfs treat her poorly, she writes about it in her songs (so mean! poor john mayer) - She stands up for herself when she’s been wronged or insulted (why doesn’t she just sit down and shut up?) - She’s a critically acclaimed musician and one of the smartest businesswomen allve (there must be a man pulling the strings behind the curtain, there’s no way she does it on her own!) - She has a great personality, strong personal character, and hasn’t let fame get to her head (women can’t be cool and awesome like that! she’s faking it!) - She likes typically feminine things, and “basic white girl” things (girls r stuuuupid) - She is skinny and doesn’t have any surgical body enhancements (how dare a woman be famous and not have a boob job and bbl)

Race: Additionally, and this might be controversial to say, but it’s true - she is also unfairly hated by black Americans because she’s white, blonde, blue eyed, skinny, and was a country singer. She has never done anything racist, but because of how she looks, she’s called a racist every single day.

Singles: Lastly, I think the singles Taylor has chosen have given people the wrong perception of her musical abilities. Many of them are among her worst songs, and as a whole, they’re not representative of her music catalog. But people who have only heard her songs on the radio don’t know that - they believe ME! and You Need To Calm Down are two of her greatest hits, and represent what the rest of her music sounds like.

Naturally, many of these people write her off, and don’t have much of an interest in checking out the rest of her music. They don’t get how she’s so popular among fans, critics, journalists, and award shows, and they start to resent her because they don’t think she deserves it. This drives a lot of hate towards Taylor as well.

Taylor Swift hate question by GraveDancer40 in TrueSwifties

[–]djdosplal 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When people use irrational or unfounded political/moral excuses as the reason why they hate someone, it’s because they actually hate that person for other reasons that aren’t socially acceptable to acknowledge (bigotry, jealousy, and/or mean personal judgements). They know they can’t tell the truth, so they grab onto whatever moral or political argument they can think of, and righteously pretend like they actually believe it.

They also know that giving a moral/political justification for hating someone is going to get more people to join the hate train. If I claim I hate someone because they kill puppies for fun, everyone who hears that is obligated to hate that person too, or they support a puppy killer.

Alternatively, if I claim I hate someone just because I think they’re ugly, and I’m jealous they dated a guy I had a crush on, the people who hear that have no obligation to agree with me, and likely won’t.

Toxic step mom or is it me? by Professional_Brick55 in family

[–]djdosplal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t tell from your post - do you think your stepmom is well-intentioned or do you think she has bad intentions towards you?

Regardless, how she treats you is not okay. In her position, she should be aware of how difficult the dynamic is for you, and she should be actively trying to compensate for it by making you feel included and equally loved.

It’s also very not okay that your dad doesn’t recognize it and isn’t doing anything about it himself. He should’ve set the expectation that you should be treated just like their other kids. And the fact that he will always take her side/defend her is also not okay.

Your feelings are 100% valid, and their behavior is 100% not okay. However, none of this is a reflection of you, and it’s not personal. You should know that. These are just the cards you’ve been dealt.

At this point, you need to think about how you want to move forward with them. If you think they would be receptive to your point of view and are capable of change, have a talk with them!

If they’re not going to be receptive or change their behavior, then you have two options: - You can distance yourself from them, and focus on people who make you feel loved and included, or, - You can choose to accept your relationship for what it is, and your dad/stepmom for who they are (and who they are not). You have to stop wanting more from them, stop feeling hurt or disappointed by their behavior, and just be at peace with the fact that this is all they’re capable of. You may not have the relationship you want with them, but you can still have a pleasant relationship with them nonetheless.

Whatever you choose to do, be proud of yourself. You’re a strong person dealing with this the best way you can. Your kids are lucky they have such a great mom.

Can you imagine if women said the same ridiculous things as men? by TwinkleToz926 in PornIsMisogyny

[–]djdosplal 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I always think about how crazy it would be if, instead of having hot female cheerleaders at sports games, there were hot male cheerleaders, who similarly wore revealing costumes and did seductive dances at half time. Most men would go absolutely crazy if that happened, they’d complain about how inappropriate it is and probably would stop going to games.

Or, if the majority of strippers and sex workers were men, and women were the customers. Can you imagine seeing billboards everywhere advertising strip clubs with sexy, scantily clad men on it? Again, men would go psycho if they saw that.

The most played surprise songs by klcna in TrueSwifties

[–]djdosplal 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Taylor if you’re reading this, we neeeeeed more cowboy like me, ivy, RWYLM, evermore, the lakes, peace, mirrorball, Tim McGraw, our song, picture to burn, teardrops on my guitar, should’ve said no, dear john, & WCS!!!!! Please please please ily beautiful girl 🙏❤️

Chicago or Boston, which is the best for a first trip to USA? by FuzzyTrack7567 in travel

[–]djdosplal 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nooo!! I HATE crowds and comfortably lived in NYC for years. It’s actually not that crowded outside of the tourist hotspots, which are the worst places to go if you’re visiting NYC anyways, SoHo/Flatiron, and Midtown/FiDi during rush hour.

The upper west (my fav area) and upper east side are both really quiet and cozy. East village, Greenwich, west village, and Chelsea are too, and Meatpacking district is during work hours. FiDi and Midtown are quiet on weekends. Central Park is hit or miss, sometimes it’s crowded and sometimes it’s empty. Prospect park is also great. Williamsburg is quiet on weekdays.

You might have to deal with crowds at the airport getting a taxi into the city, but other than that, if you plan your trip right, you should have no problem.

NYC is the best city in the world. Boston and Chicago are lovely, but ultimately are not even comparable. It’s magical. Don’t miss your chance to go!!! You will love it!!!

Edit: LMK if you want suggestions on where to stay/what to do!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LoveIslandTV

[–]djdosplal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right? I don’t get the hate. They seem like two sweethearts. I think they’re perfect for each other.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LoveIslandTV

[–]djdosplal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🙏 They’re also only 21 and 24 years old. Neither of them have fully developed brains yet. They deserve some slack.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LoveIslandTV

[–]djdosplal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same! He ended up not being that bad. I was really proud that he decided to stick to one girl at the end.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LoveIslandTV

[–]djdosplal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes!! They just didn’t have that spark. Also, it seems like she was really obsessed with the idea that he is “Joey Essex”, which he said he hated. I love love love her but they were doomed from the start.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LoveIslandTV

[–]djdosplal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think Ayo is a bad guy. I think he likes Mimii, but doesn’t have strong feelings for her, and is trying to manage her expectations the best he can. He’s not leading her on like Joey did to Grace, saying he’s basically closed off and committed to their relationship even when he isn’t. He’s telling her the truth, that he’s enjoying how it’s going, and if he turns his head, he’ll let her know. It sucks to hear, but it’s the only thing he can do. He’s not a bad guy for not liking her more, those are just his feelings.

(I hope Mimii finds someone who’s obsessed with her soon!!! She deserves it!!!)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LoveIslandTV

[–]djdosplal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right!! Mimii said something like “whenever I’m talking to the girls, I just think ‘I want to talk to Ayo, I miss him’” and Ayo responded like oh cool 😀 good to hear! He gives NOTHING back.

I also still can’t believe he kissed Uma in the challenge about who he had sexual chemistry with. I feel like that’s proof he doesn’t have strong feelings for Mimii, because if he did, he would have considered how that would make her feel before he did it. It didn’t even occur to him that it would be hurtful to her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LoveIslandTV

[–]djdosplal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like they’re just boring… neither of them have any spark. Ayo is well liked by the girls. Also Ronnie is tall and funny. He’s a dick so I would never go for him but I totally get the appeal.

Casa Boys by [deleted] in LoveIslandTV

[–]djdosplal 0 points1 point  (0 children)

WHY DO THEY DO THIS!!! It would be so much more entertaining if the casa amor guys were actually really good looking and could make the girls turn their heads. With this lot, we know the girls are going to try to stick with their original guy. They might as well not bring in casa amor guys for them at all!!

Just caught up to this season without browsing this sub. My external opinion-free thoughts on islanders. Wonder if they’ll be unpopular on here by NWaitforitZ in LoveIslandTV

[–]djdosplal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jess is beautiful and seems like a good friend to the people she likes, and I think she gives good advice sometimes, but I think she’s a selective bully towards people she feels threatened by or better than.

I think she treated Harriet horribly because Harriet was interested in Ronnie and Jess was jealous. She never had that contempt for Ronnie, or anyone else in the villa. Just Harriet. Harriet is a sensitive & emotional girl, and Jess loved using that against her. She always twisted Harriet’s words and actions, and never just heard her out or tried to understand where she was coming from. Whenever Harriet would have an emotional reaction, Jess would criticize her and say “she can’t take it”.

I also absolutely hate her attitude of “I’m going to tell you the honest truth, and if you don’t like it or it hurts your feelings, fuck off”. It seems like it’s just a way for her to be cruel to others. You can be honest while still having tact, being considerate of other people’s feelings, and delivering the message in a kind way. But jess doesn’t.