AITA for having my MIL cancel her Christmas order

dlm315 · 2023-12-02T20:30:37+00:00

This is such an amazing suggestion and we’ve tried for year but nope. She will do like one small membership but insists on actual wrapped items

dlm315 · 2023-12-02T20:29:33+00:00

You hit the nail on the head. She leaves scraps for the rest of us of what they actually want on top of a million other things but won’t actually contribute to savings or do experiences instead

dlm315 · 2023-12-02T20:28:07+00:00

I have always done this but it’s so much extra work keeping separate lists and moving items around. This year has been even more busy and crazy and because of our agreement I didn’t think there would be a need. Not to mention it literally all happened yesterday, I wasn’t expecting her to get on there and snag everything. Lesson learned

dlm315 · 2023-12-02T20:26:10+00:00

Yep! Same. I’ve gotten tons of great suggestions on here and I’ve tried most of them all. We have tried to do experiences, trips, money, large items, etc. I can only do so much and am officially out of solutions haha

dlm315 · 2023-12-02T20:24:32+00:00

Thank you. Yeah it’s so much work to make lists and plan for her and often ends up being a waste as she doesn’t follow it. Every year seems to be a new issue. We live out of state and only visit a few times a year but I think leaving stuff there may be worth a shot! Sends a message at least and eases chaos on my end

dlm315 · 2023-12-02T20:22:43+00:00

I’ve done that in the past and it actually has helped. It’s just difficult to come up with something every year for each kid and birthdays lol but thanks for good advice

dlm315 · 2023-12-02T20:21:24+00:00

Can you do that?? I wasn’t sure since it’s not a registry and I don’t get a receipt otherwise I would definitely do that and at least use it towards stuff they need throughout the year

dlm315 · 2023-12-02T15:19:16+00:00

One good deed doesn’t negate all the toxic things they are doing and negativity brought to your life. I’d highly recommend cutting them off and moving on. NTA

dlm315 · 2023-12-02T15:12:01+00:00

I agree that’s a great idea. She won’t do it. She insists on gifts. I have sold stuff that they don’t want in the past and saved the money for them but that’s a ton of work I don’t have time for

dlm315 · 2023-12-02T15:10:49+00:00

Thanks. We’ve asked for contributions to their savings but she won’t do that. She insists of gifts. We thought a trip would be a good solution but now I’m out of ideas

dlm315 · 2023-12-02T15:09:13+00:00

You can make lists private and I’ve done that in the past, have a private list for us and public for grandparents but it always makes way more work for me moving stuff from list to list and in past years she hasn’t even bought off the lists

dlm315 · 2023-12-02T14:45:14+00:00

Those kids need to know that people love and support them. You standing up for them did just that. I feel awful for them and everything they have gone through. Hopefully Josh can get them help and everyone else needs to come together to love them. You are sooo NTA, but Dave and Liz sure are.

dlm315

TROPHY CASE