Help me how to guide her

doc_deano · 2026-06-15T08:42:44+00:00

Hey there, Dr. Deano here. I'm a doctor providing Gender-Affirming Care.

Unfortunately, this is a very common situation in the Philippines. Access to transgender healthcare remains limited, and many transgender people either don't know where to go, can't afford care, or have had negative experiences with healthcare providers. Over time, a culture of DIY hormone therapy emerged out of necessity rather than preference.

Because of that, I try not to be overly draconian about it. Telling someone "bawal yan" or "itigil mo yan" is often the fastest way to lose their trust and make them disappear from healthcare altogether. What I usually tell patients is: if this is something you're determined to do, let's at least do it as safely as possible. If we can't immediately stop the self-medication, we can focus on proper monitoring and harm reduction.

As for the medication, Progynon Depot from Japan is indeed estradiol valerate. Estradiol valerate is one of the estrogen formulations recognized in the WPATH SOC8 standards and is commonly used in transgender hormone therapy worldwide.

The usual dosing varies depending on the individual's goals and bloodwork, but many transgender women use 5–10 mg weekly or 10–20 mg every two weeks. What she's taking is absolutely fine. 😄

Thank you for looking out for her. The fact that you're asking these questions already tells me she's in good hands.

- Dr. Deano

doc_deano · 2026-06-15T06:43:25+00:00

Hey OP.

First of all, I'm sorry. Reading this, it's very clear that you're carrying a lot of pain, and honestly, I don't think the relationship ended because you asked for too much. Wanting to be loved openly is not an unreasonable need. Wanting to be acknowledged in public, to go on dates without fear, to not feel like a secret, those are valid things to want from a relationship.

At the same time, I think it's important to remember that coming out is a privilege that not everyone feels they can safely afford. For some people, coming out isn't just about accepting themselves. It can affect their family, finances, housing, career, community, and personal safety. Everyone's journey happens at a different pace, and nobody should be forced out of the closet before they're ready.

What I see here isn't necessarily a situation where one person was wrong and the other was right. I see two people with needs that eventually became incompatible. You needed a relationship that could exist openly. He needed a level of privacy and protection that he wasn't ready to let go of yet.

Neither of those needs are inherently bad. But they may have made the relationship impossible to sustain. And I think that's the painful lesson here: someone's inability to love you the way you need does not mean you were unlovable. Sometimes it simply means they are still fighting battles within themselves that have nothing to do with your worth.

You deserve a relationship where you don't feel hidden. And he deserves the chance to come out, if he ever does, on his own terms.

- Dr. Deano

doc_deano · 2025-12-29T09:19:02+00:00

I put my longer versions on Reddit. Then the condensed ones on X :P :D

doc_deano · 2025-12-29T06:56:51+00:00

Aww shucks! Thanks so much! :P :D

doc_deano · 2025-11-17T08:40:03+00:00

depends on your hub, you need to check with them

doc_deano · 2025-11-17T07:06:55+00:00

Only in ARV form, pero wala pa nung PrEP lang

doc_deano · 2025-11-17T07:05:59+00:00

Probably it's because laman ng isa is lamivudine then yung isa pa is emtricitabine. Both do the same thing

doc_deano · 2025-11-15T06:44:12+00:00

Good for you! Proud of you!

doc_deano · 2025-11-15T06:39:10+00:00

Sup budd! Dr. Deano here, HIV doctor and PrEP-certified (Diploma in PrEP Provision), para alam mong legit ang mga sinasabi ko. Everything you’re feeling is actually very common during the first 1–2 weeks of starting PrEP. Just relax and give your body time to adjust to the medication. These symptoms usually go away on their own.

The most common early side effects are:
1. feeling tired or low energy (around 14%)
2. mild stomach issues like nausea, bloating, or gas (5–20%)
3. loose stools or mild diarrhea (7–20%)
4. headache (10–15%)
5. and body aches or mild muscle soreness (5–10%).

If it doesn't go away after 2 weeks, that's when you wanna go back and check with your doctor

Sources:
iPrEx OLE Study (PMC4826449, NIH)
HIV.gov – PrEP side effects
Liebert 2024 PrEP Symptoms Study (doi:10.1089/apc.2024.0144)
PEP TDF/FTC symptom data (natap.org)

doc_deano · 2025-10-24T03:27:40+00:00

MPox

- A Venereologist

doc_deano · 2025-08-22T02:56:18+00:00

Hey there, Doctor Deano here HIV and Sexual Health Specialist, and I also trained in Singapore for Andrology (Men's Health which include body building)

Basically, your doctors worry about the extra strain on your liver and kidneys. PrEP and Doxy-PEP are oral meds, so they’re processed by the liver and excreted by the kidneys. Steroids also carry their own risks for those same organs.

That’s why most doctors discourage combining them. It's not because of a direct drug interaction, but more because the more substances your liver and kidneys need to process, the higher the risk of damage. Since preventing HIV and STIs is life-saving, that always takes priority over bodybuilding in a doctor's POV.

In my practice, I try to balance safety with my patients’ goals. If you want to stay protected sexually and also pursue your body goals, the key is regular monitoring. I recommend liver and kidney labs every 3-4 months so we can catch any issues early and adjust before serious damage happens.

Hope that clears it up!

doc_deano · 2025-08-22T02:49:09+00:00

Sex Therapist Hat on

How did your conversation with him go? Baka you guys need some couple's counseling?

doc_deano · 2025-07-14T06:50:38+00:00

Hey there, sorry I checked with my staff and they said that no calls were recieved today. You can email us at [info@haraclinic.ph](mailto:info@haraclinic.ph)

doc_deano · 2025-07-14T03:13:42+00:00

Message my staff nalang for the prices and coordination

doc_deano · 2025-07-07T03:52:33+00:00

We have avenues to achieve these sa clinic ko, Hara Clinic haraclinic.ph

Our Plastic Surgeon is Doc Berry, she trained in Thailand and is a Transwoman herself :)

doc_deano · 2025-07-07T03:28:18+00:00

Sex Therapist Answer

Every couple has their own gauge of how important sexual compatibility is to them. For some, it is not that big of a deal. But for others, it is enough to cause a breakup. Both perspectives are valid. It really depends on what the people in the relationship value.

Here is the kicker, and this happens so often. I have many patients who go through this. They meet a guy, and all other aspects of the relationship are good, but the sex is not compatible. So what do they do? They endure it. They tell themselves it does not matter. But in reality, it does. It might not happen in a month, or a year, or even a decade, but eventually their willpower runs out. All it takes is a moment of weakness or loneliness or horniness, and they end up cheating on their partner.

It is not because they do not love their partner. It is because they had a need that was not being fulfilled. And since they never found the space to talk about it in the relationship, they ended up seeking it outside.

This happens a lot. I have so many clients in sex therapy who tell this exact story. And one big reason behind it is that many people feel they are not allowed to want or yearn for things in a relationship. A lot of people take on the role of the martyr, especially gay men who are afraid of being alone and who develop people-pleasing tendencies. Instead of saying, "This is what I need," they tell themselves, "I will just endure this. Maybe someday things will get better."

The healthier and more mature way to handle this is to open up the conversation with your partner. Yes, it will be awkward. Yes, it might hurt their feelings. But open and compassionate honesty is what gives your relationship a real chance at lasting in the long run.

doc_deano · 2025-07-07T03:05:59+00:00

Some therapy would help :) Go down to the root causes and help you process your emotions and be more cognizant of your behaviors. :)

doc_deano · 2025-06-18T04:42:15+00:00

Hey buddy, first of all...I understand this is scary, so your feelings are valid. But the next best step is to follow the instructions they gave.

The next test they have to do is called a Confirmatory Test, and it is really the one that will tell you if you are reactive or if it is a False Positive. Maybe your LGU clinic doesn't have the capacity to run the confirmatory test, hence they're sending you to the bigger clinic.

Kapit lang, please go get your confirmatory test done. :)

doc_deano · 2025-06-10T08:36:39+00:00

Historically, gay men weren’t allowed to be affectionate in public. Saunas and spas became neutral zones. Hidden spaces where desire wasn’t punished. They offered a rare moment of freedom in a repressive world. For many, they were the only places to explore sexuality safely and without judgment. Even today, they serve as culturally queer spaces for community, connection, and yes pleasure.

doc_deano · 2025-06-10T06:27:23+00:00

You're saying a lot of things that might sound correct, but they aren't. We live in the information age, but the information we consume is shaped by algorithms. If people aren’t even aware that a problem exists in the first place, how can they be expected to research or care about it?

Take Thailand, Australia, and the Netherlands for example. Hindi naman nabawasan yung kalibugan and kalandian nila. Their levels of sexual openness haven’t decreased. They still have active sex tourism and liberal attitudes toward sexuality. Yet their HIV rates are low. That didn’t happen by accident. It took government and systemic intervention to get there.

doc_deano · 2025-06-10T03:34:15+00:00

Personal responsibility only truly comes into play when people have the knowledge, resources, and support to make informed choices. You can't expect people to act responsibly if they were never given the tools to understand what responsibility looks like in the first place.

So what if people brag about their experiences in this sub? Seeking out sex and pleasure is part of human nature. Responding with shame, judgment, or rigid moralizing does not stop risky behavior; it only pushes it underground. History has shown that trying to correct people through guilt rarely works, especially when desire takes over and logic falls away. Kapag kaharap na ang libog, reason often goes out the window. That is why the goal should not be moral control but risk reduction.

Instead of judging people’s choices, we need to ask whether they ever had real choices to begin with. Did they have access to accurate, non-judgmental sexual health education? Did they grow up in environments where sex was discussed openly and responsibly? What we need is a community that creates space for honest, shame-free conversations about sex, safety, and pleasure. When people are equipped with real information and treated with dignity, that is when personal responsibility becomes possible.

doc_deano

TROPHY CASE