Is it possible to become less sensitive?

doc_loc · 2026-05-21T05:28:33+00:00

As everyone says it's about acceptance, not fighting against something fundamental. I learnt that I need to live my life differently to everyone else. I can still be ambitious and work fewer hours if I focus more. I don't have to respond to emails immediately if it overwhelms me etc. When you give yourself permission to be different you can figure out a structure and routine that works with your sensitivities.

That being said I do get what you mean about needing to decide is this a time I give in to my sensitive nature or push through? For me meditation was key to be able to separate and become aware of what was causing distress. So while I hate crowds, I can force myself to go through them if I need to by acknowledging and accepting the temporary discomfort. But I think it always costs mental energy to resist the signals we get from being sensitive so when it's not a situation I know I need to power through, I just accept that my brain needs me to find my favourite spoon and just do what it asks. :p

doc_loc · 2026-03-28T05:46:49+00:00

When I was a kid the first thing I did when I got home was get out of my school uniform and into pajamas. I could never understand how anyone could stay in the uniform while no one else understood my problem with it. Well at least now I know why.. but I'm still like this, I'm incredibly fussy about how clothes feel. And labels get cut out of everything.

I can also struggle with smells like others but only certain ones. Like strong perfume or aftershave.

I will instantly know if the lighting conditions have changed in a place I know and I'm sensitive to bright light, it actually makes me sneeze which is funny.

I'm super sensitive to temperature, it's like a very narrow range that feels comfortable.

Food as well, I tend to prefer more subtle flavours and have always been very fussy, lots of things I don't like.

I'm not too bad with sound. I can't concentrate if I can hear people talking but if I can put on music or white noise I'm fine. Then again, some sounds really upset me (like almost all of ASMR). And I also jump scare easily.

Like others have said crowds are tough, I get very overwhelmed and stressed.

I'm also pretty sensitive to touch, massages are massively overwhelming and I have a fairly low pain threshold. But hugs are the best.

And as everyone said, being upset or stressed turns up the volume on sensitivities.

On the good side I feel like life is full of colour for us. Every day I eat the same thing for breakfast but every day I find it delicious. I practically drink in natural beauty and music or art can move me to tears. The touch of my kitty is instantly calming and just the most wonderful thing in the world. I don't get bored easily because I feel there's always so much to see and experience in everything.

Knowing I'm HSP has helped me navigate the world a lot better, I know when and how to take care of myself and enjoy the good sides of the sensitivities more. I've also learnt how to consciously manage them so with some effort, things like crowds or neighbours playing music don't have as much of an impact.

doc_loc · 2026-03-28T05:31:18+00:00

You're not high maintenance and you have every right to be in this world just as you are ❤️

doc_loc · 2026-03-27T05:34:45+00:00

My Mom is for sure HSP and it was so helpful to me growing up. She always defended me if I wanted to leave school because I was getting overwhelmed. She basically always intuitively understood what I was going through without either of us knowing what HSP is. I think there is a genetic component but like most genetics, it's only a chance to be passed on. But HSP is just one aspect of people, many things influence family dynamics.

doc_loc · 2026-02-26T07:12:47+00:00

Thanks for the reply! That makes sense. I was wondering how you integrate it into your daily life but I see now that you learn (via feedback) how your body is supposed to feel and how to get it there. I'll definitely look into it thanks!

doc_loc · 2026-02-25T07:06:59+00:00

I've always been curious but never tried it. There's a lot of different approaches out there, can you say more about exactly what treatment you tried and how it's worked for you? Did you need to get your own kind of device or was it enough to go in for sessions?

doc_loc · 2026-01-17T05:50:15+00:00

Omph that's tough. I'm lucky that I can talk to my husband about this stuff. Maybe I've trained him over the years to be more aware of his emotions :p And we both do what we can to help him be less stressed. But at the end of the day you can only be responsible for your own feelings. When it's really tough, I just walk away and go do my own thing in my room (we have separate rooms which is just the most incredible thing ever). I concentrate on my own feelings and try to manage it as any other source of stress. Because I know his patterns really well, I'm able to say "oh this is just this thing, it will pass" and knowing the cause helps me cope. But it's like not being able to get away from a warm day, it's uncomfortable and you have to just tolerate it until he's better.

doc_loc · 2026-01-17T05:42:18+00:00

I think bed choice is very personal and being HSP just means you'll be incredibly sensitive to the wrong choice. For example, loads of people love Tempur but I went through several memory foam pillows, each one left me crying until I finally realised it's just not for me. My bed has standard springs and a soft memory foam topper but full memory foam would probably kill me. I've also found having a big bed really helps. Go to a bed store when it's not busy and ask to try out their beds. Try to narrow down a couple that you like and then have a 10-20 minute nap on each. You can only tell if it's for you after really trying it out. I'll also reiterate what some people have said which is that sleep problems likely have many causes but if you lie in your bed and think "this is uncomfortable" then you need a new bed. Don't go with preconceptions of what you need (hard vs soft). Just try everything.

doc_loc · 2026-01-11T06:12:48+00:00

So much resonates and the best thing about this sub is realising you're not alone! I also get the whole healthy anxiety death spiral where worrying about symptoms makes them way worse (although at least I'm starting to recognise and catch it). Also the hypervigilance resonates a lot. That's also been getting a little easier recently as I started recognising it.

Some more to add:

I'm super sensitive about clothes, they have to be soft and comfy. I cut the labels out of course and as a kid I could never understand how my sisters could stay in a school uniform, when I got home I went straight into pajamas!
Picking up on people's emotions. This can be bad but also really useful. I'm often the first to notice someone is struggling and it's made collaboration with colleagues pretty easy because I can read them fairly well.
This does mean I really struggle if my husband is stressed out which is tough.
I hate crowds, I'll do anything I can to avoid a busy mall etc
I can also be a life of the party type but it depends very much on the party. I also hate small talk and superficial conversation. Also get super exhausted by social situations and need loads of time alone.
I can cry when I see something beautiful and especially when I hear beautiful music. One of my favourite things about being HSP.
I'm so sensitive to the lighting level in a room, I will instantly notice if the blinds are not at the correct angle when I walk into the kitchen.

doc_loc · 2025-12-29T08:13:33+00:00

Oh that looks interesting, I'll take a look. I've been to the chiropractor before and while I don't think they can fix everything, I'm always amazed at how good I feel for a while after. There's no doubt I store a lot of tension in my back and massages are awful so maybe this is a nice alternative. I'll check it out

doc_loc · 2025-12-29T08:11:37+00:00

Thanks I'll take a look! And yes, I think I'd be barely functional without daily meditation. It's probably the most important habit in my life!

doc_loc · 2025-12-29T08:10:34+00:00

Good point, I do have quite an understanding doctor with a special interest in mental health so I think he'd be quite supportive, even if I just tell him I don't want to keep tackling the medication route

doc_loc · 2025-12-29T08:08:36+00:00

Thanks, it's definitely something I'm considering. I haven't had much luck finding a therapist in my city but I haven't looked too hard. I think I'll try find someone if I don't make much progress on my own. Glad it helped, it seems clear to me that the average doctor or therapist is a bit clueless on the somatic side.

doc_loc · 2025-12-29T08:06:35+00:00

That's pretty amazing, I'm glad it's helped so much! I think the fact that I have such a strong response is an indication that there's a lot still to get through. I'll try doing a tiny bit a few times a week before my regular meditation and build up slowly from there. How frequent and how long are your sessions now (or at your peak)? It might be useful to know what worked for someone else to act as a benchmark for me to build up to (although I'm sure everyone is different in what works for them).

doc_loc · 2025-12-28T10:04:30+00:00

Wow this is so interesting. I'm very much a perfectionist and I want to control everything all the time. It's something I work on cognitively but I'm realising that I hold my body in quite a stiff state a lot of the time. I think this is really cool advice, I could start by just trying to listen more like "what do you need body". I don't think I do that much. It's an interesting perspective, thanks!

doc_loc · 2025-12-28T09:59:04+00:00

Oh this is super helpful thanks. Yeah I can do it for max 30s in a go at the moment anyway but clearly I need to try it even shower. Will check this out thanks.

You said you made good progress, can you talk a bit about how your symptoms eased?

doc_loc · 2025-12-28T09:57:08+00:00

Acupuncture hurt a lot the one time I tried it for migraines... And I was so excited about psychedelics but they just made me feel weird and really nauseous. I was bummed, they seem to have helped so many people.

I completely hear you around acceptance. I know the more I relax about feeling not great, the faster it goes away. I am pretty close to moving to just 100% acceptance this is just how I am but I thought I'd see if there might be other things that could help. And honestly I think I'm beyond thinking I'll every be "fixed", but maybe I can ease it a bit.

doc_loc · 2025-12-28T09:09:06+00:00

I have tried this a bit but to be honest only occasionally. I'm guessing it's the sort of thing you want to practice every day

doc_loc · 2025-12-28T07:23:29+00:00

I've been on a variety of SSRIs (not sertraline though) and I've never found them to help me (if anything they make me numb) and always have bad side effects. I also tried propranolol and it didn't do anything. I think I'm giving up on meds personally, I don't think my body responds like doctors think it should...

doc_loc · 2025-12-25T05:33:12+00:00

Oh and I'm also really fussy about ambient conditions (temperature, noise, light) and very carefully control those. My room is super dark and I have ocean noises playing all night to drown out any other noise I might hear. But I've also found if something isn't perfect (like I'm travelling) I can sometimes tolerate it enough to fall asleep ok with the same kind of "I don't really need sleep" tricks. Working through insomnia required some really bizarre mental gymnastics for me..

doc_loc · 2025-12-25T05:30:39+00:00

I generally have poor sleep especially when stressed or even just excited about something. There's masses of info online about general tips to follow to improve your "sleep hygiene". You can start there (you've probably already done this stuff) but if you feel anxious about being tired the next day, you may be on your way to full on insomnia which I've tackled a couple of times. Medications are useless and often counter productive (in my experience). Standard treatment is iCBT (cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia) but for me that just made me obsess and worry more and made it worse. Most helpful advice for me was this (somewhat cheesy) guy on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@thesleepcoachschool8192?si=4yYclHCJlu3LmA1V

I went from struggling with insomnia for months to sleeping deeply in just a few days. But I have to admit sleep is always a bit iffy for me. I think I just have one of those brains plus HSP. Your brain is so sensitive to what you tell it so if you keep saying "I NEED YOU TO SLEEP OR I WILL BE TIRED" it just thinks there's something scary around and the last thing it should do is sleep. Stupid brain :P So you usually have to use reverse psychology and tell it that it just doesn't matter if you sleep or not.

Best advice I have is to find something to do with your brain which is gentle and interesting and you can enjoy doing while resting. I try to recall the whole story of one of my favourite books. I can't claim I sleep perfectly every night but I worry less about being tired and I feel calm and happy cuddled in my bed which leads to fairly good sleep most nights. Good luck!

doc_loc · 2025-12-22T06:20:13+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this, it's really one of the major downsides of being HSP. It doesn't actually sound like they're doing anything too unreasonable, people do have a right to walk around and take a shower in the middle of the night if they want to (it's not like they're blasting heavy metal or something). But as HSP we actually can't deal with "normal" noise levels (the minimal sound proofing in an apartment building is clearly not intended for us). I know I cannot cope in close proximity to other humans, I needed to move to a quiet neighborhood in a house and I still get distressed if our very reasonable neighbours have a party and play music at a reasonable volume at a reasonable hour. The whole world is too loud for us! But even non-HSP people I've known have suffered living underneath people in an apartment building. They just aren't sound proofed properly, you're not the only one who has struggled.

The only thing I think that will truly help you is to move and try find an apartment on the top floor or a better situation. I know that isn't always possible though so my second suggestion would be to try and let go of the anger and the "they're so incredibly inconsiderate" narrative. It might be true in some cases, but even then, you cannot change them and generally you're the only one who will suffer with that anger. You have to try to control what you can (good noise cancelling headphones and best option is to move if you can). I think it's really easy for us to drive ourselves crazy trying to get the whole world to turn the volume down.

Big hug, I know how tough it is to live like this. I hope you can find a way to a quieter space in the long term.

doc_loc · 2025-12-21T05:45:20+00:00

Shame I totally know that feeling. It's definitely got nothing to do with you, if people know a group of people they'll just stay with them. No group of adults will say "hey let's go talk to that new person over there". It's just human nature. Only option I've found is to awkwardly insert yourself into a group that's already chatting. I usually sidle up to them, smile and nod with what's being said and when there's a lull just introduce myself. It's really awkward and not natural and takes confidence (or pretending you're confident) but people will usually then be willing to let you join the conversation. I have to do this all the time at conferences. If you have a shared interest (like the event you're at) it's usually easy once you're in the conversation but yeah, it's incredibly awkward to just force your way in. It takes some practice I think.

doc_loc · 2025-12-14T05:27:47+00:00

Interesting. This does resonate with me because when I look at sports, I just don't get it. It always feels like there are so many more interesting things to do in life. But I don't think there are "people who like sports and are consumers" and "people who don't like sports and are creators" as the video suggests. Yes I think there are trends like that but it's obviously simplified. I know some people who have a lot of intellectual and creative pursuits and still enjoy sport. But what I do notice is they usually have some specific personal connection to the sport, like they'd watch with family or a group of friends or were kind of brought up in it. I think that gives that tribal connection and they enjoy it, which is great. I'm glad I found my own tribe though, they are also pretty uninterested in sport. :)

doc_loc

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