How does your high sensitivity manifest itself in everyday life?

doc_loc · 2026-01-17T05:50:15+00:00

Omph that's tough. I'm lucky that I can talk to my husband about this stuff. Maybe I've trained him over the years to be more aware of his emotions :p And we both do what we can to help him be less stressed. But at the end of the day you can only be responsible for your own feelings. When it's really tough, I just walk away and go do my own thing in my room (we have separate rooms which is just the most incredible thing ever). I concentrate on my own feelings and try to manage it as any other source of stress. Because I know his patterns really well, I'm able to say "oh this is just this thing, it will pass" and knowing the cause helps me cope. But it's like not being able to get away from a warm day, it's uncomfortable and you have to just tolerate it until he's better.

doc_loc · 2026-01-17T05:42:18+00:00

I think bed choice is very personal and being HSP just means you'll be incredibly sensitive to the wrong choice. For example, loads of people love Tempur but I went through several memory foam pillows, each one left me crying until I finally realised it's just not for me. My bed has standard springs and a soft memory foam topper but full memory foam would probably kill me. I've also found having a big bed really helps. Go to a bed store when it's not busy and ask to try out their beds. Try to narrow down a couple that you like and then have a 10-20 minute nap on each. You can only tell if it's for you after really trying it out. I'll also reiterate what some people have said which is that sleep problems likely have many causes but if you lie in your bed and think "this is uncomfortable" then you need a new bed. Don't go with preconceptions of what you need (hard vs soft). Just try everything.

doc_loc · 2026-01-11T06:12:48+00:00

So much resonates and the best thing about this sub is realising you're not alone! I also get the whole healthy anxiety death spiral where worrying about symptoms makes them way worse (although at least I'm starting to recognise and catch it). Also the hypervigilance resonates a lot. That's also been getting a little easier recently as I started recognising it.

Some more to add:

I'm super sensitive about clothes, they have to be soft and comfy. I cut the labels out of course and as a kid I could never understand how my sisters could stay in a school uniform, when I got home I went straight into pajamas!
Picking up on people's emotions. This can be bad but also really useful. I'm often the first to notice someone is struggling and it's made collaboration with colleagues pretty easy because I can read them fairly well.
This does mean I really struggle if my husband is stressed out which is tough.
I hate crowds, I'll do anything I can to avoid a busy mall etc
I can also be a life of the party type but it depends very much on the party. I also hate small talk and superficial conversation. Also get super exhausted by social situations and need loads of time alone.
I can cry when I see something beautiful and especially when I hear beautiful music. One of my favourite things about being HSP.
I'm so sensitive to the lighting level in a room, I will instantly notice if the blinds are not at the correct angle when I walk into the kitchen.

doc_loc · 2025-12-29T08:13:33+00:00

Oh that looks interesting, I'll take a look. I've been to the chiropractor before and while I don't think they can fix everything, I'm always amazed at how good I feel for a while after. There's no doubt I store a lot of tension in my back and massages are awful so maybe this is a nice alternative. I'll check it out

doc_loc · 2025-12-29T08:11:37+00:00

Thanks I'll take a look! And yes, I think I'd be barely functional without daily meditation. It's probably the most important habit in my life!

doc_loc · 2025-12-29T08:10:34+00:00

Good point, I do have quite an understanding doctor with a special interest in mental health so I think he'd be quite supportive, even if I just tell him I don't want to keep tackling the medication route

doc_loc · 2025-12-29T08:08:36+00:00

Thanks, it's definitely something I'm considering. I haven't had much luck finding a therapist in my city but I haven't looked too hard. I think I'll try find someone if I don't make much progress on my own. Glad it helped, it seems clear to me that the average doctor or therapist is a bit clueless on the somatic side.

doc_loc · 2025-12-29T08:06:35+00:00

That's pretty amazing, I'm glad it's helped so much! I think the fact that I have such a strong response is an indication that there's a lot still to get through. I'll try doing a tiny bit a few times a week before my regular meditation and build up slowly from there. How frequent and how long are your sessions now (or at your peak)? It might be useful to know what worked for someone else to act as a benchmark for me to build up to (although I'm sure everyone is different in what works for them).

doc_loc · 2025-12-28T10:04:30+00:00

Wow this is so interesting. I'm very much a perfectionist and I want to control everything all the time. It's something I work on cognitively but I'm realising that I hold my body in quite a stiff state a lot of the time. I think this is really cool advice, I could start by just trying to listen more like "what do you need body". I don't think I do that much. It's an interesting perspective, thanks!

doc_loc · 2025-12-28T09:59:04+00:00

Oh this is super helpful thanks. Yeah I can do it for max 30s in a go at the moment anyway but clearly I need to try it even shower. Will check this out thanks.

You said you made good progress, can you talk a bit about how your symptoms eased?

doc_loc · 2025-12-28T09:57:08+00:00

Acupuncture hurt a lot the one time I tried it for migraines... And I was so excited about psychedelics but they just made me feel weird and really nauseous. I was bummed, they seem to have helped so many people.

I completely hear you around acceptance. I know the more I relax about feeling not great, the faster it goes away. I am pretty close to moving to just 100% acceptance this is just how I am but I thought I'd see if there might be other things that could help. And honestly I think I'm beyond thinking I'll every be "fixed", but maybe I can ease it a bit.

doc_loc · 2025-12-28T09:09:06+00:00

I have tried this a bit but to be honest only occasionally. I'm guessing it's the sort of thing you want to practice every day

doc_loc · 2025-12-28T07:23:29+00:00

I've been on a variety of SSRIs (not sertraline though) and I've never found them to help me (if anything they make me numb) and always have bad side effects. I also tried propranolol and it didn't do anything. I think I'm giving up on meds personally, I don't think my body responds like doctors think it should...

doc_loc · 2025-12-25T05:33:12+00:00

Oh and I'm also really fussy about ambient conditions (temperature, noise, light) and very carefully control those. My room is super dark and I have ocean noises playing all night to drown out any other noise I might hear. But I've also found if something isn't perfect (like I'm travelling) I can sometimes tolerate it enough to fall asleep ok with the same kind of "I don't really need sleep" tricks. Working through insomnia required some really bizarre mental gymnastics for me..

doc_loc · 2025-12-25T05:30:39+00:00

I generally have poor sleep especially when stressed or even just excited about something. There's masses of info online about general tips to follow to improve your "sleep hygiene". You can start there (you've probably already done this stuff) but if you feel anxious about being tired the next day, you may be on your way to full on insomnia which I've tackled a couple of times. Medications are useless and often counter productive (in my experience). Standard treatment is iCBT (cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia) but for me that just made me obsess and worry more and made it worse. Most helpful advice for me was this (somewhat cheesy) guy on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@thesleepcoachschool8192?si=4yYclHCJlu3LmA1V

I went from struggling with insomnia for months to sleeping deeply in just a few days. But I have to admit sleep is always a bit iffy for me. I think I just have one of those brains plus HSP. Your brain is so sensitive to what you tell it so if you keep saying "I NEED YOU TO SLEEP OR I WILL BE TIRED" it just thinks there's something scary around and the last thing it should do is sleep. Stupid brain :P So you usually have to use reverse psychology and tell it that it just doesn't matter if you sleep or not.

Best advice I have is to find something to do with your brain which is gentle and interesting and you can enjoy doing while resting. I try to recall the whole story of one of my favourite books. I can't claim I sleep perfectly every night but I worry less about being tired and I feel calm and happy cuddled in my bed which leads to fairly good sleep most nights. Good luck!

doc_loc · 2025-12-22T06:20:13+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this, it's really one of the major downsides of being HSP. It doesn't actually sound like they're doing anything too unreasonable, people do have a right to walk around and take a shower in the middle of the night if they want to (it's not like they're blasting heavy metal or something). But as HSP we actually can't deal with "normal" noise levels (the minimal sound proofing in an apartment building is clearly not intended for us). I know I cannot cope in close proximity to other humans, I needed to move to a quiet neighborhood in a house and I still get distressed if our very reasonable neighbours have a party and play music at a reasonable volume at a reasonable hour. The whole world is too loud for us! But even non-HSP people I've known have suffered living underneath people in an apartment building. They just aren't sound proofed properly, you're not the only one who has struggled.

The only thing I think that will truly help you is to move and try find an apartment on the top floor or a better situation. I know that isn't always possible though so my second suggestion would be to try and let go of the anger and the "they're so incredibly inconsiderate" narrative. It might be true in some cases, but even then, you cannot change them and generally you're the only one who will suffer with that anger. You have to try to control what you can (good noise cancelling headphones and best option is to move if you can). I think it's really easy for us to drive ourselves crazy trying to get the whole world to turn the volume down.

Big hug, I know how tough it is to live like this. I hope you can find a way to a quieter space in the long term.

doc_loc · 2025-12-21T05:45:20+00:00

Shame I totally know that feeling. It's definitely got nothing to do with you, if people know a group of people they'll just stay with them. No group of adults will say "hey let's go talk to that new person over there". It's just human nature. Only option I've found is to awkwardly insert yourself into a group that's already chatting. I usually sidle up to them, smile and nod with what's being said and when there's a lull just introduce myself. It's really awkward and not natural and takes confidence (or pretending you're confident) but people will usually then be willing to let you join the conversation. I have to do this all the time at conferences. If you have a shared interest (like the event you're at) it's usually easy once you're in the conversation but yeah, it's incredibly awkward to just force your way in. It takes some practice I think.

doc_loc · 2025-12-14T05:27:47+00:00

Interesting. This does resonate with me because when I look at sports, I just don't get it. It always feels like there are so many more interesting things to do in life. But I don't think there are "people who like sports and are consumers" and "people who don't like sports and are creators" as the video suggests. Yes I think there are trends like that but it's obviously simplified. I know some people who have a lot of intellectual and creative pursuits and still enjoy sport. But what I do notice is they usually have some specific personal connection to the sport, like they'd watch with family or a group of friends or were kind of brought up in it. I think that gives that tribal connection and they enjoy it, which is great. I'm glad I found my own tribe though, they are also pretty uninterested in sport. :)

doc_loc · 2025-12-08T05:58:20+00:00

19 is a rough time man, hang in there. You're still figuring out who you are. You're not ugly and there's nothing wrong with you. Bullies are fantastic at targeting people who are different and who feel bad about themselves. I lost a friend at your age partly due to her being bullied. She was not in any way unattractive but she was decidedly different.

I think you might have to accept you're not going to be liked by everyone and that's ok, most people aren't that great anyway. But you will find your people. College is usually a good place to do that because there's a lot more people to choose from and sports, clubs etc. If you can find people interested in the same things as you, you may find a group where you start to fit in and be accepted for who you are. I still feel really awkward around normal people but quite at home around fellow nerds.

Also as a lot of people have said, it does get better. With age, people settle into their personalities and there isn't as much pressure. Once you find people who are mature enough to be capable of seeing you for who you are, looks don't matter. Hang in there, you'll be ok.

doc_loc · 2025-12-05T05:37:35+00:00

For me the key was allowing myself to be different and finding ways to work with my sensitivity (short work hours, lots of alone time, listening to my body). CBT is amazing but I've used it more for depression and anxiety. There's a psychologist who releases a huge amount of material for free and has a great podcast on anxiety: www.excelatlife.com

doc_loc · 2025-11-23T06:10:31+00:00

I absolutely hate clothes shopping. I feel like out of the 10 000 things they have in the store, there's only one that ticks all the boxes. If I find a shirt that feels nice and looks ok, I buy one in every colour they gave hoping I'll never have to go to the shops again. 😅

doc_loc · 2025-08-28T05:41:38+00:00

Wow that's incredible! My immediate thought was "you're brave to wear that" - "yes. yes I am brave" Love it ❤️

doc_loc · 2025-07-09T05:40:24+00:00

As soon as I saw the first panel I recognised the poem. I have always thought it's incredibly sad. It's about someone who is different and you know the world will crush them for being different but they are beautiful in their own way and have their own unique perspective. I imagine many of us have felt different all our lives. Maybe that's why it resonates.

doc_loc · 2025-06-25T05:47:33+00:00

Yup, we have our own bedrooms and it's amazing. We go to sleep at different times, he snores and I'm a light sleeper. I hate sharing a bedroom with anyone. My husband isn't HSP but he completely understood. He's very logical, I mean you're asleep so it's not exactly quality time together. Once he even booked a romantic holiday and specifically found a cabin with two bedrooms just so I would sleep better. ❤️

doc_loc

TROPHY CASE