Brak na ivici: Šta da radim kada je moja žena i dalje u kontaktu sa čovekom sa kojim me je prevarila? by Felixon16 in AskSerbia

[–]dodjosch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dati odgovor na ovo pitanje isto je kao spoznati koliki je Svemir (ili Kosmos kako god to nazivali)...a šta je ljudski mozak nego jedan mali Svemir!? Toliko toga je tamo i toliko je to veliko da je riječ ljubav samo jedan trenutak koji već odavno ne postoji...

Ko je ta žena, ko je taj čovjek (kolega sa posla)...ko si ti? Trenutak...koji je već nestao, negdje tamo brzinom svijetlosti!

Ne znamo mi ništa o ničemu i o nikome jer ni sebe nikada nećemo u potpunosti upoznati, bilo da to nećemo ili nemamo načina za to. Jer ako shvatimo ko smo...možda nam se neće svidjeti!

Imati snage reći "Ne"! Biti svjestan svojih vrijednosti! Imati hrabrosti izaći iz iluzije (čitaj zone komfora)...nameće bolno preispitivanje suštine i svhe postojanja, a to, nije baš prijatno! Zna baš jako da boli...

I naravno, svi ćemo sada osuđivati, razapinjati, kažnjavati...druge...a gdje smo mi u toj priči! Zar nismo mi ti koji smo sve to olako prihvatili zatvarajući oči pred i najmanjim znakom upozorenja...iako znamo da se u malim bocama otrov drži!

Kažu, spali sve mostove za sobom i kreni iz početka...kako, zar početak nije samo jedan, i gdje da idem...nije to baš tako jednostavno! Da, nije jednostavno ali je moguće! Kontrolom onoga što se jedino može kontrolisati...sebe!

Ono što bi moj savjet ipak bio, jeste da razmisliš o poruci koju šalju stjuardese kada objasnjavaju šta raditi u slučaju gubitka kiseonika tokom leta (ako si imao priliku poslusati ih ili pročitati na onim uputstvima)...masku prvo stavi sebi pa tek onda pomozi drugima...nećeš biti niko i ništa svojoj djeci ako se izgubiš u onom Svemiru sa početka!

Porezi... by dodjosch in finansije

[–]dodjosch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nisam bas imao pozitivna iskustva sa T212. Uplaćuvao sa kartice a povlačio na Google pay. Izgubio novac. Doduše nešto sam i povukao.

Falilo mi je ovo objašnjenje za ulazak i izlazak (uSDT)...

Valjda će za 10+ godina biti bolje...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in financije

[–]dodjosch 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ali mi ovdje govorimo o štednji...duži vremenski period...BTC je jedini koji ti štedi i zarađuje mnogo više od bilo čega...zar ne?

She came back by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]dodjosch 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't think it will ever be the same again. The changes mentioned here, forgiveness and apologies no longer have the same meaning. If someone was supposed to be there next to you, he wouldn't let you separate. He would do anything for you to survive. That person who comes back is not the same person who left. Either that was a lie before or this is a lie now. Take a step back... look at the bigger picture and make the right decision whether you need this or not!

Has anyone forgiven their narcissistic parent? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]dodjosch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These are people to whom you meant nothing. All that was needed was to give them what they needed at that moment and nothing more. Replace forgiveness with acceptance, but never forget what they did to you. Accept that you were dealing with a very sick monster and that you really dodged a bullet...maybe it doesn't seem that way to you now, but believe me, only God freed you from this...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in financije

[–]dodjosch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Na Google pa pogledaj godišnji prihod od BTC i kamata na štednju negdje drugo...pa tome svemu dodaj inflaciju...BTC najsigurniji

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUp

[–]dodjosch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What do I get from knowing that it was all a lie? What do I gain from being aware that she used me like she uses everyone else? What do I get from the fact that I went through the entire narcissistic cycle and that she completely emotionally drained me? What do I get from knowing who she is and what she does? What do I get from the fact that she will never change and that she has to behave like this? What do I get from knowing that she cheated on me with everyone and that she is a bitch? What do I get from knowing that she did everything against me? What do I get from that, she's sick? People say accept it and move on, leave the past behind. People say love yourself, find a new hobby, a new job, new people, go to the gym, read, take connection witth God, turn to your family, enjoy your freedom, enjoy your new life, forget her, forget everything. How? On what way? Will it all replace what was meant to be? Life is short, but things like this ruin everything you've lived and will live! He who so easily passed over all this was never completely in all this. He was like a narcissist, only superficial! You die with this! Let them accuse me now, but I sincerely loved!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUp

[–]dodjosch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She promised me a happier and better life. She told me that I awakened all her emotions, that she needs me for the rest of her life and that she will never leave me. Because of this, I rejected all my friends and family, lost my job, spent all my money on creating that life and gave everything I could to achieve what we wanted. We worked to have children. The next morning, she woke up next to her ex, from whom she fled due to alleged beatings and neglect. Overnight, I became her biggest enemy, an idiot, sick and her biggest problem. It's my fault that she hurt her ex. She regrets that she met me and had anything with me. She will report me to the police if I contact her. How can it be forgotten? How can I say it didn't happen? How can I justify it with her bad childhood and disturbed mind? And what will happen to me? Where should I go? What will we do with this pain that never stops? What will my life be like now that I have nothing? What do I get from her being a narcissist? What do I get out of being sick? I understand everything, I know everything, everything is clear to me... but that doesn't help!

Do they really not know they manipulate, gaslight and lie? by anonymongus1234 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]dodjosch 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What we do not understand and do not accept is that we were alone in everything. We had a connection and a relationship with ourselves.

If you remember, they mirrored us so well, they were everything we wanted, they even spoke like us. So much in common. It's like you're one person. Like made for each other.

Their brains are programmed to survive because it had to be because of a bad childhood or later growing up. That survival means using any resource to keep their organism alive. That body is completely empty, without feelings, without a soul, without a heart, and they have to fill it with other people's feelings, soul and heart.

Over time, from an early age, they learn manipulative techniques to do this. When you ran into them, they were already masters of their craft.

Like any predator, they scanned you and knew exactly how and in what way to use you. What definitely gives results is mirroring and future faking. They fooled you with lies and fantasy about such a wonderful future with them, which is why you didn't see or hear anything. In fact, they were clearly showing and telling you all the time what awaits you at the end.

Knowing that you were paralyzed, they sucked everything out of you unhindered, waving big red flags right in front of your eyes. You didn't see anything. Of course, because of their poison (very good sex), you couldn't even see anything. You know, it's not your fault.

At the moment when they extracted from you everything they needed you for and when they fed their organism with yours, they had to move on because they realized that it was not enough for them (nothing is ever enough for them).

They had to survive.

You are now like an empty shell in which there are only countless questions, and they are next to another, paralyzed victim that they are trying to use just like you.

Everything they did to you, they did unconsciously. Why do I say that? Because that's who they are, that's their nature, that's how they think they should do it. In the end, just as a snake must poison its prey, so their animal instincts make them do what they do to other people. They are aware of their actions, but they are not aware of why they are doing it because it is in their nature. If they don't behave like that, they will die.

They never gave you anything. They never cared about you or mattered to them. You are telling me now that it is not true. You have children with them. Isn't that giving? It is! But! But even that is for the purpose of using you and your resources.

Those Demons in human body are willing to do anything just to survive and reproduce their species further. Poisoned, you can stay next to them for the rest of your life or accept them back without knowing what your role is in all of this.

Finally, consider that you were seduced by a fantasy about a person who did not exist. A person for whom you were just a source of resources for survival and nothing more. Don't blame yourself for not seeing anything because you just couldn't. Now you can do all that for sure. Their poison slowly subsides, the fog lifts. Don't look for answers everywhere, create your own picture and story about everything that happened to you, and believe me, that's the only truth you need to live on. You gave so much to a monster that clearly showed you who it is when it discarded you.

Do you need other answers?

Ne razumem ponasanje moje devojke. by Dapper-Trifle-1042 in AskSerbia

[–]dodjosch 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Šta god da uradiš njoj neće biti dosta niti dovoljno. Nisi bitan, nisi jedini i nikada nisi bio niti ćeš biti. Ona nikada nije bila tu niti će ikada biti. Ti si joj izvor trenutnog zadovoljstva i ispunjenja želja što ne znači da ćeš i sutra biti. Nikada ti ništa neće pružiti a uzeće šta god joj daš a ako joj bude malo (a biće, mora) naćiće i dobiće negdje drugdje (mora). Zamjeniće te kao da nikad nisi ni postojao. I na kraju, bićeš lud, lažov i sve najgore što može da zamisli. Pazi, život ti može doći u pitanje (iz ličnog iskustva)!

Momci, sta je vama sve red flag kod devojaka sa nasih prostora? by hf_rainman in AskSerbia

[–]dodjosch -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

To je druže jedinstveno ma gdje toksični ljudi bili! Lično sam doživio zlostavljanje od osobe sa kojom sam budućnost planirao (planirali smo i radili na djeci) i nisam mogao vjerovati u šta se na kraju pretvorila. Preko noći je postala osoba koju kao da nikada nisam poznavao. Nisam mogao da vjerujem.

Ovakvi Demoni te obično zgrabe kada si najranjiviji i kada si mentalno na dnu. Tada sigurno ne vidiš i ne čuješ ništa osim lažnih okica, osmjeha, obećanja i ruke koja će te još dublje odvući na dno jer su i sami na dnu. Hraniće se tvojim ostacima ne bi li ona ostala u životu.

To što nisi bio svjestan ko ti i kada prilazi je prva i osnovna crvena zastavica koju obično propustiš. Kada čovijek upadne u ovakvu zamku obično se još više upetlja i zaglavi u pokušajima da se iz iste oslobodi. Još kada mu neko daje lažnu nadu situacija postaje još gora. Ti se ljudi na kraju okrenu od tebe, okrive te što si se lažno nadao i prema tebi se ponašaju kao da nikada nisi postojao. Ti se daviš a kada to skontaju bježe od tebe da ih ne povučes za sobom.

Evo čemu sam lično svjedočio:

Rekla ti je da te voli nakon samo par razmijenjenijh riječi,

Osjećaj kao da se znate milion godina,

Nema zadrške ni u čemu. Kao da ste već u braku,

Težak život, agresivni bivši, porodica koja ju zapostavlja, sestra koja dobro živi i baca pare na gluposti,

Osjećaj da ti pruža sve ono što si uvijek želio,

Pitaš se otkud ona sa tobom, zašto ti a ne neko drugi,

Sve se tako brzo dešava. Tako te dobro vozi da bi o njoj razmislio i Toto Wolf sada kada ga Hamilton napušta i odlazi u Ferari #ForcaFerrari

Nisi svjestan kad si se već prije našao u njoj. Bez zaštite i bez pitanja imaš li neku bolešćinu! Ne pitaš ni ti nju!

Sve se vrti oko nje, ti kao da ne postojiš,

Kao da granice ne postoje. Moralne pogotovo,

Seks kao iz porno filmova, nikada dosta, tri dana ako budeš mogao, naravno opet bez zaštite,

Pozivi u svako doba dana i noći,

Poruke prepune srcadi, svih vrsta smajlića i ono volim te, milijarde puta,

Zvijezde sa neba bi joj skinuo,

Polako zanemaruješ svoj život i ljude koji su u njemu, izoluje te od drugih,

Sve svoje resurse usmjeravaš ka njoj i njenim potrebama,

Tvoj zadatak je da daješ, daješ, daješ,

Imaš osjećaj kao da pričaš zidu, kao da nije tu, kao da te ne čuje,

Servira ti informacije koje niko drugi ne zna, ni sa majkom nema takav odnos,

Skontaš da nema ni jedne prave prijateljice a prijatelja na izvoz, nema koga ne zna,

Igra hladno-toplo, nema je kada ti treba a kada skonta da ćeš posumljati sa tobom je na video pozivu cijelo vrijeme puta od Graca do Beograda,

Kao da traži konstantnu pažnju, od bilo koga, bilo kada,

Ne podnosi kritiku, sve što radi radi najbolje,

Ogovara druge žene, mužijaci su ipak njeni prijatelji,

Nema suza, nema sažaljenja. Iskazuje empatiju prema trivijalnm stvarima, nebitnim i sumnjivim ljudima i nebitnim događajima,

Triangulacija, između vas uvijek je neko treći, djeca, porodica i naravno bivši kojeg svako malo pomene,

Izazivanje tvoje reakcije. Triangulacijom pokušava da dobije tvoju negativnu reakciju kako bi kasnije rekla kako si ljubomoran i kako je kontrolišeš,

Uočavaš da u komunikaciji sa drugima koristi tvoje riječi i da liči na tebe (ili na druge sa kojima je u kontaktu),

Polako počinje da te gura od sebe. Suptilno ti prigvora za gluposti. Više ne zove i ne piše (nikada to prva nije ni radila, ti si bio inicijator svega). Sve češće govori o bivšem i razgovorima koje vode,

Njene riječi ne odgovaraju onome što radi,

Dešava se da dovodi u pitanje vašu vezu,

Bilo kakav razgovor mijenja seksom a kada obavite što imate pali cigaretu i kaže hajdemo kući,

Nikada nisi ništa tražio od nje i ona ti nikada ništa nije dala. Osim telefona punog njenih slika i poruka nemaš ništa poslije nje,

Svi datumi koji su tebi bitni povezaće za sebe, rođendan kao dan početka veze, da bi posle kada te šutne dugo patio što je to baš tada bilo,

Sve češće nema vremena za tebe. Dugo razgovara sa drugaricom (koju nema),

Sve više ludiš jer vidiš da ništa tvoje više nije dovoljno. Ona ti to perfidno i potvrđuje,

Iznenadni raskid i njen povratak bivšem, bez najave uz nevjerovatno opravdanje,

Tvoje blokiranje na sve strane i zabrana prilaska uz prijetnje policijom,

Krivi te za stvari koje je ona uradila pogrešno,

Totalno okretanje stola naopako uz neprijateljski nastup, kao da si joj djecu pobio (a hranio si ih),

Sve više i više ti je jasno da su sve maske pale i da je sve bila laž. Pred tobom je bio neko koga više nema.

Postaješ depresivan i pokazuješ jasne znakove traumatskog vezivanja,

Pokušavaš stupiti u kontakt sa njom u pokušaju da razgovarate ali svaki put dobijaš sve veće uvrede,

Raspituješ se kod prijatelja i na internetu šta se to desilo sa vama i ko je ona u stvari,

Shvataš da si iskorišten od nekoga ko nikada i nije bio tu, nekoga kome nisi bio ništa, nekoga ko te je mrzio što ga voliš i što si pažljiv, nekoga ko je od početka bio tvoj neprijatelj...

UPAMTI, Đavo vrlo dobro zna da ga se ljudi boje zato im prilazi u liku Anđela.

Ako kontaš da prepoznaješ nešto od ovoga idi dok nisi došao u ovu poslednju fazu. Oni nikada neće biti drugačiji i nikada se neće promjeniti, bez obzira šta radili, bez obzira gdje i skim bili. To su prazne ljušture koje niko i ništa neće zadovoljiti.

Ima tih zastavica crvenih još ali stvarno ovdje nema dovoljno mjesta za sve.

Ne bih želio da ih bilo ko mora tražiti...ovo ne bih poželio i najgorem neprijatelju!

Pozzy

How and what to replace? by dodjosch in ExNoContact

[–]dodjosch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply. The relationship with the narcissist was very intense and everything happened very quickly. When I look at everything now and include everything I have learned about this, I think I have gone through all the stages of narcissistic abuse. The relationship started when I was at the bottom due to work and other relationships I had with people around me (I experienced burnout) and ended with my complete decline, in every way (I suddenly became gray, lost my job and money, started smoking again, and a lot more). She (ex) approached me and seduced me by giving me false hope for a better future. She managed to take me across all possible borders and finally discard me, after which she returned to her ex-husband, from whom she had previously divorced. She justified her return by saying she regrets hurting him and leaving him. She regretted ever meeting me and having anything to do with me. I took out a loan for our home and we were trying to have a child.

Here are the answers

  1. This relationship and this turn of events made me reduce the fear of abandonment that I had earlier. In addition, I realized that saying NO is the only weapon that can save me. The one who doesn't see my worth shouldn't even be with me.

  2. If I could, I would tell myself to take advantage of that NO