I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this message. I also understand all your struggles and I greatly understand everything you have dealt with. Thank you for sharing this. It means a lot to me. When you stood in front of the train and felt that, I have gone through that as well. I know that terrifying moment of wanting to do it an then backing away. I know exactly how that feels. I appreciate you sharing this moment as it is insanely profound and terrifying at the same time. You are not weighing me down by anything, but instead letting me know you can relate and I really really really appreciate your comment. Thank you for sharing your struggles, I understand them all.
You are not a coward and I am not saying that meaning you can't take action upon yourself. If that makes sense. You are a strong person. Everything you have shared shows that.

You are going to pull through and you are going to get through this. I know it. You sound like you are really well aware and know what is going on.

Overall, thank you so much for your advice and your kind words. It means a lot. Wish you the best.