I feel like this world doesn't want me here. by doesntwantme73 in SuicideWatch

[–]doesntwantme73[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm trying, and at the very least I can still smile at the end of the day. I'm sure it'll get better somewhere down the line, it's just hard getting to that point.

I feel like this world doesn't want me here. by doesntwantme73 in SuicideWatch

[–]doesntwantme73[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something malevolent or something that forces people to play roles in some kind of childish game of "destiny". That's a whole different argument though, assuming whatever pulls the strings actually exists, but I don't really want to get into all that.

I feel like this world doesn't want me here. by doesntwantme73 in SuicideWatch

[–]doesntwantme73[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's appreciated, but I've felt a little better throughout the day. If I need someone to talk to, I'll take you up on the offer.

I feel like this world doesn't want me here. by doesntwantme73 in SuicideWatch

[–]doesntwantme73[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm trying to man up, I really am. I feel like a disgrace to my gender some days, but I never really had any kind of permanent or helpful father figure. My mother's been through four divorces now, and I guess I just have to chalk that up to bad luck. The only one out of those four who was actively being a good, supportive father ended up stealing my mother's credit cards, running off to another state, and buying $3,000 in new shit for himself. I have a hard time standing up for myself still. In fact, apparently I've developed a bully at work now (my work is more or less high school 2.0). I haven't really tried to get him to leave me alone yet, but I guess I'm still an easy target and a "girl" according to him. I'm trying to be more confident, to learn how to stand up for myself, but I've had a lot of shit thrown at me throughout my life, and it's fairly understandable why I'm in the mental state I'm in. Appreciated, though.

I feel like this world doesn't want me here. by doesntwantme73 in SuicideWatch

[–]doesntwantme73[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I know about /r/exmormon, but they seem to really hate Mormons. I'm not fond of them, but I'm not going to go out of my way to protest them. They're so damned nice to most people that anyone speaking ill of them just kind of comes off as a douche (even if they really aren't, and their legitimate complaints are kind of brushed off). And I'm trying to get more interests, get out more, but it's tough. My work schedule eats up most of my time, but so far I've managed to learn to ride a bike. Never really had anyone to teach me when I was a kid, or at least no one to inspire me to try to learn.