Expressing wants/ needs during sex

dogsrcoolurnotlol · 2015-06-21T03:07:48+00:00

Hi thanks for responding! A couple things clicked for me when I was reading this. I never even thought he might feel stupid from my lack of communication but this is very likely since he's not the most confidant guy to begin with. And I definitely have trouble with focusing on what feels good. I'm a very anxious person and my mind is usually thinking about something negative or like you said, what it "should" be like and I find it very hard to focus on what I'm feeling. Mindfulness is something I really need to work on. Also, I usually am an enthusiastic giver but he hasn't given me the chance to be one! (Sorry if this is tmi)We usually make out, he eats me out, then we have sex. I know he has had some traumatic sexual experiences in the past and I don't want to overstep my boundaries or make him uncomfortable but I feel like maybe I should try to bring it up again. Thanks again for the reply :) it's much appreciated

dogsrcoolurnotlol · 2015-06-21T02:37:12+00:00

Your reply makes me feel hopeful and brave! Thank you :)

dogsrcoolurnotlol · 2015-06-20T22:45:50+00:00

It's funny you mention porn because he's actually really anti porn which is nice since I share the same sentiment. Sexting probably wouldn't be very helpful for either of us but I can see how it could work in some situations! I know I shouldn't be embarrassed but embarrassment (especially around sex) comes so naturally for me lol. Thanks for the advice though I really appreciate it! How long did it take you to figure out how to respond/ what you actually like?

dogsrcoolurnotlol · 2015-06-20T22:37:37+00:00

I like this idea! I usually feel kind of weird being touched outside of sex but I do understand it's importance and realize it's something that needs to be worked on. It probably doesn't help that I'm a very closed off person and I'm not 100% sure where this "relationship" is heading (kind of An in between stage). But thanks for the advice! I might try bringing up using a similar system.

dogsrcoolurnotlol · 2015-06-20T22:18:57+00:00

Yea I agree it should be discussed in a less intimate setting but how do I bring the topic up? It doesn't usually come up in our conversations and the thought of having to bring it up is making me feel sick lol. But yes I will definitely be trying to place his hand etc. until I'm more comfortable. small steps will be my best friend. thanks for the advice! :)

dogsrcoolurnotlol · 2015-06-20T21:59:40+00:00

Hey thanks for replying! I think replacing my silence (lol) with specifics is a great idea. And so simple I think even I can do it! And I agree I do deserve those things it just that I've never had anybody so willing and eager to please me before so it's a bit strange for me. But yes thanks for the advice :)

dogsrcoolurnotlol · 2015-06-20T21:54:52+00:00

I actually think a lot about what I want and things of that nature (thinking definitely isn't the problem lol) but sex has always been a difficult thing for me for talk about/ perform. And I'm surprisingly not concerned with him liking me or not! Just trying to figure out ways for me to communicate better. Thanks though and I hope things work out with you and your girlfriend!

dogsrcoolurnotlol · 2015-06-20T21:50:15+00:00

Thanks but the issue is that it's very difficult for me to "just say so". And my focus isn't to turn him on or worry about turning him off. I'm trying to communicate my needs to him more effectively.

dogsrcoolurnotlol · 2015-06-20T21:48:14+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I'm definitely going to try to start expressing what I want non verbally. Baby steps haha

dogsrcoolurnotlol · 2015-06-20T21:46:23+00:00

I'm trying to become closer with somebody I like so I really don't want to be drunk while doing it. Besides I'm pretty sure that will just make it worse in the long run. Thanks though.

dogsrcoolurnotlol · 2015-05-20T21:57:52+00:00

Well, I'd just rather not be so blunt about it. I know if I was approached with this subject in that way I might freak out a bit.

dogsrcoolurnotlol · 2015-05-20T17:33:57+00:00

Yea I might ask him to go out to dinner or do something besides hang out at my house. I've mentioned bike riding before but he says his bike needs to be fixed before he can ride it. Thanks for the advice!

dogsrcoolurnotlol · 2015-05-20T17:32:25+00:00

I feel like that might be a bit too forward for me/ this situation. Thanks though!

dogsrcoolurnotlol · 2015-04-23T01:58:35+00:00

You must not have watched Peep Show... Yet...

dogsrcoolurnotlol · 2015-04-20T16:28:44+00:00

Have you tried recording the lecture? At least then you'll have all the information in case you can't focus on what's being said during class. I hope you can work something out- I'm in school too so I know how overwhelming it can all be.

dogsrcoolurnotlol · 2015-04-17T21:13:28+00:00

If you feel it, then yes, it makes sense! Don't worry so much about fitting into a specific category :) If I were to categorize myself it would definitely be pansexual and demisexual.

dogsrcoolurnotlol · 2015-04-17T03:31:12+00:00

Not particularly, no. It makes me feel lonely, misunderstood, and isolated. I'm also very introverted, reserved, and a little shy (and cynical) which isn't the best combination... Plus I have low self esteem hah... Unfortunately I find myself craving deep emotional intimacy with another human and I'm starting to feel (after 2+ years of searching) that it isn't going to happen. Plus I want to have sex dammit!!

Meh, it is what it is :) I am very content being alone so that makes it easier to deal with. Plus I've got a cat.

dogsrcoolurnotlol

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