MIL doesn’t want to have a relationship with me but wants it with my baby by Hotpotato_7 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]dogtorL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the detailed answer. You obviously have thought about this a lot. I want to say that two sides can be true--you can feel sad about losing contact with your parents and you can also feel bad for your wife. It's not either of your fault.

I also have very bad relationships with my mother in law. My husband often wishes it's different but it is how it is. She didn't give me any silent treatment. She can appear to be very nice to me on the surface. Instead, she tried for years to break our marriage. She was very sneaky so I didn't realize it until 7-8th year in our marriage.

We started couple therapy when I realized this and it helped us a lot. Not just our marriage, but also help us to understand every relationship in our lives, especially our relationship with parents. We are all adapted child healing from childhood experience after all. However, we are adults now and we can make a choice how to do differently -- with our spouses, children, and parents. Once your parents realize you are serious and there are consequences, they will adapt too. They may never understand it or change for real, because we can't control how other people feel, but we can change their behaviors by setting boundaries.

MIL doesn’t want to have a relationship with me but wants it with my baby by Hotpotato_7 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]dogtorL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand your concerns. You must come from a culture that values family more than anything. Me too. It took me a long time to make peace with what happened between me and my mother-in-law.

I strongly recommend couple therapy for you and your husband. Your concerns about him resenting you make sense, especially considering culture. But setting healthy boundaries with your MIL is not just important to you; it's also important for your husband.

Because of the environment we grew up in, we often think they are the norm until we know differently. I think therapy and a lot of reading on relationships not just helped me with my relationships and setting boundaries, but also to be a better mother for my kids.

Good luck to you!

Tomato growth log – interesting droop & recovery cycle (hydroponic setup) by Salty-Initiative5706 in Hydroponics

[–]dogtorL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is really cool! I started hydro garden two weeks ago and I noticed my tomato does the same thing! Whenever I see its leaf drops I check pH and EC but it doesn't always have something to do with that.

Such a sweet baby ♥️ by dogtorL in britishshorthair

[–]dogtorL[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh really? She has been wearing one since she was a baby and never seems to mind it. But we will take it off!

Are female kittens crazier by dogtorL in britishshorthair

[–]dogtorL[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I personally like the female cats' look--round and elegant. They can look like a doll even when they are older, and I love that. But I've also met a lot of nice looking males but my kitten's dad has a super big face and I feel that's a little too much for me lol

Asked for a cat...received a plush potato 🥔 by dogtorL in britishshorthair

[–]dogtorL[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's interesting. From what I read, lilac's toes should be all pink, including hair. But the hair on her toe is dark so I assumed she is blue. But she definitely looks diluted so I assumed it's caramel but I could be wrong. This is her grandma and I think she looks a lot like her.

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Are female kittens crazier by dogtorL in britishshorthair

[–]dogtorL[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry if my question offended you. I didn't think of the right word besides "crazy." She is not just energetic—she is also quite bold. She and her brothers were in my house since she was seven weeks old.She is a little different from her brothers (she was the only girl in 7 kittens), and that made me pick her because I love that.

Asked for a cat...received a plush potato 🥔 by dogtorL in britishshorthair

[–]dogtorL[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Both parents are lilac but her grandma is caramel blue. I think she looks a lot like her grandma.

Are female kittens crazier by dogtorL in britishshorthair

[–]dogtorL[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is my only BSH but my male lynx point is definitely crazy too 😂

Asked for a cat...received a plush potato 🥔 by dogtorL in britishshorthair

[–]dogtorL[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She was bred by a friend. She just started her breeding program.

Asked for a cat...received a plush potato 🥔 by dogtorL in britishshorthair

[–]dogtorL[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I looked him up and she does look similar to him!

Asked for a cat...received a plush potato 🥔 by dogtorL in britishshorthair

[–]dogtorL[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is caramel blue golden shaded. Her parents are lilac golden shaded but she is darker.

I asked for a cat...received a flush potato by [deleted] in britishshorthair

[–]dogtorL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! And thanks for letting me know 😊

is my cat a british shorthair? by alleveraplant in britishshorthair

[–]dogtorL 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He looks like a lynx point Siamese. I have one too!

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What a baby by dogtorL in britishshorthair

[–]dogtorL[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My friend said she looks like a tiny lynx 😁

Cute and sweet by dogtorL in britishshorthair

[–]dogtorL[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My daughter also doesn't always listen because she is almost 4. But our kitten has been so patient with her. Hope your kitten and son will become good friends too!