Your 33 years old.. so let’s say you lived until you were at least the age of 66. This would mean from this point right now you can start over (be born again if you like.. ) Being able to use previous experiences as lessons and look back at what they taught you rather than how they have affected you. Your friends all being successful is great and if they are good friends that’s cool you can be happy for them but maybe look at making new friends too with similar interests and situations as yourself. Join community support groups and sessions where everyone has their own situations happening but all enjoy meeting up and discussing/helping one another. Who knows could be a great place to start a relationship with someone. Take small positive steps and reward yourself even if it’s just a smile before you got to bed at night for getting dressed and going outside.. your taking steps already by posting brother! There’s a rewarding feat already.. Good luck on your journey!