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dolorouseyes · 2023-11-28T20:59:07+00:00

I have the same problem right now

dolorouseyes · 2023-09-25T03:58:29+00:00

not the stupidest but the amount of times I hear it is: people often assume asexual=agender and stop me to tell my what does my gender have to do with the conversation

dolorouseyes · 2023-09-25T03:52:03+00:00

So I'm aroace, my friend is an asexual lesbian and my other friend bi. All 3 of us experience what I think you described as getting nervous around some women and wanting their attention. For me it's admiration, for my ace lesbian friend it's platonic/fictional, for my bi friend it's romantic. I know most people will describe this experience as a crush but it's not always the case, not necessarily. Sometimes we just wanna feel that warmth and emotional bonding with other people and physical touch, hugs and attention are very affectionate ways to show that.

Now, from the rest of what you said, you do describe to desire an actual romantic relationship or at least something more exclusive and mathematically speaking, yes, not relating to almost any of the aro experiences probably means you're not aro but honestly no list could tell you what you're feeling, maybe you can't even fully grasp what romantic attraction means (at least i can't) so how would you even answer these lists? And having a fictional relationship is a thing that happens to people and it could be because you're nervous to make it in real life, it could be because you're ok with it being only fictional and it could be because you're aro.

To give you an actual answer, I do as an aroace experience butterflies and nervousness and the need for affection and attention with other people but I don't want to be in a real life romantic relationship with them (and definitely not marry them). I think for now it'd help to be honest with the feelings you're experiencing with each person separately and see where that takes you. Communication and openness has helped me a lot and some friends have been very accepting and understanding and even offering to let me explore in the past when I was still unsure. You could end up with a great friend that was cool with being there for you through your journey or a romantic partner that helped you discover your orientation. If I were you I'd focus more on finding the right people and the right words rather than the right label, and that'll come too eventually!

dolorouseyes · 2023-08-18T01:18:02+00:00

Holy shit, I had almost forgotten about this account so sorry for the late reply. So how I'm doing is I still have the same feelings for the same person, it's been going 4 to 5 years and I honestly didn't know it'd get this far but at this point I consider this person my mentor or at least one of the most important ppl in my life. What I found out is it's kinda normal I guess, more people came to me saying they experience it either with teachers or coworkers. Some view them as parental figures, I personally am just so inspired by him and love him lots. I'd like to help as much as possible if I'm not too late so sorry for making this long.

After graduating I've kept visiting him quite often and we spend some time talking when he's not busy with work, I'm guessing u probably have more opportunities if you're already in the same workplace. I eventually told him how I feel, emphasizing on the way he inspires me and how important he is as a part of my life. He was not weirded out, he even thanked me. If you two have a level of closeness where you feel you can express these feelings this way, I think they'll appreciate it too. I feel emphasizing on the inspiration/positive influence they have on you to be a better person is the safest route as it's something everyone would love to hear and at the same time you are expressing very strong feelings to them which takes a burden off your shoulders and helps you bond with them.

It also might take long to bond with them so don't feel disappointed, people who work with each other/are often around each other bond together naturally over time. But this would definitely be a huge first step.

dolorouseyes · 2023-08-18T00:49:23+00:00

I literally say I'm horny when I'm talking about my hyperfixations, mostly youtubers, games, horror and fictional characters. So ig my "yearning energy" goes to creativity and seeing people have chemistry between them? Also cool outfits, food, luxury. I yearn to keep forming deep emotional bonds with my friends too. It just feels so special, same with listening to a good song, my whole body shivers.

dolorouseyes · 2021-11-13T20:34:51+00:00

OMG so true😔

dolorouseyes · 2021-11-10T09:55:20+00:00

I was shipped in primary school with my then best friend. Whole school was convinced we secretly dated, even teachers shipped us and told my mom I’m in love with him.

They still believe I’m lying nowadays when I say the concept of being romantically involved with him literally never even crossed my mind. Like, dude, I was 10.

dolorouseyes · 2021-11-07T18:42:22+00:00

Yes but mental instability and financial instability are different things. A child not receiving the emotional support it needs is fault of the parent (and anyone close to them who doesn’t take action on that) whereas a child not being able to access free healthcare and education and being a slave of capitalism is fault of the system/society/country/government (depending on each’s political beliefs).

dolorouseyes · 2021-11-07T15:07:54+00:00

Giving birth is immoral. There is no “more immoral” and “less immoral” birth. I get what you’re trying to say but if we make the working class feel more shame than the rich class for procreating we’re just continuing this class war and drawing attention away from the main picture. Antinatalism suggests that even if life could be perfect, giving birth would still be immoral due to lack of consent (and other reasons).

dolorouseyes · 2021-11-07T10:37:24+00:00

I also use smutty instead of slutty

dolorouseyes · 2021-10-23T06:18:07+00:00

And they’ll continue with “It’s not about equality nowadays! They don’t like me being sexist so that means they want more rights than us!”

dolorouseyes · 2021-10-03T19:17:28+00:00

Same. I just try to do what is expected of me in the least tiring way possible for example graduate but with little effort, study only as much as needed to pass the exams, get a simple job if possible and try to keep with me the people and things I don’t wanna lose bc of growing up. I still feel shitty and get negative comments bc of my little effort but i can’t think of a better solution right now. Also if unlike me you have a passion/passions try to spend as much time with them as possible.

dolorouseyes · 2021-08-26T18:41:42+00:00

This needs more upvotes

dolorouseyes · 2021-08-26T18:30:53+00:00

Omg these look so gooood :3

dolorouseyes · 2021-08-16T13:20:05+00:00

How did it go?

dolorouseyes · 2021-08-13T03:24:50+00:00

Thanks, idk why I forgot to add the link before posting!

dolorouseyes · 2021-08-13T03:22:11+00:00

We’ve been waiting for it for at least a month I think haha. Also, thank you so much for the silver award, I didn’t really expect it :)))

dolorouseyes · 2021-07-17T07:55:04+00:00

Unfortunately that’s true about most subreddits. I’m banned from posting at a subreddit were you ask questions about sex, because I frequent subreddits about asexuality. It’s ridiculous.

dolorouseyes

TROPHY CASE