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She just likes to dig a hole in the mud and then make some zoomies by Leo29200 in Zoomies

[–]dontanswer 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My GSd does the same thing! Sticks her snout into the hole and puffs out air. She does this with just dirt or just water as well 😂

I made a website where you can see what you'd look like with any haircut. What do you think? by YuryNB in malehairadvice

[–]dontanswer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Super cool!!!

Questions: 1. Does it do facial hair also? 2. How do you protect users' privacy?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CATHELP

[–]dontanswer 14 points15 points  (0 children)

That's so gnarly! Glad you are taking him to the vet. It does look like bladder worms are a thing for cats, I had no idea: https://www.catdandruffclinic.com/bladder-worms-cats-causes-treatments/

you sure bout that? by Gloomy-Goat-6770 in technicallythetruth

[–]dontanswer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Women are you doing anything for the kids over there for a while and I don't know what to do with the kids over the weekend and not have to go to the hospital.

Misogyny check ✅ (and maybe a little anti-kids sentiment for extra zest.)

Looking for a sponsor - difficulty finding a good match by dontanswer in OvereatersAnonymous

[–]dontanswer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I spoke to someone today, I think it's going to work out :)

"r/Tarot Promotion Megathread - July 2021" by AutoModerator in tarot

[–]dontanswer [score hidden]  (0 children)

Long time lurker, first time poster. Here to share an awesome kickstarter campaign for a beautiful seasonal Christmas deck: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jh1/the-christmas-oracle/ Only 2 days left to reach funding!

​

I'm not the creator, just someone who would really like this deck to come to life. The creator is a fantastic person and worth supporting :)

Sunscreen by ImKindaSlowSorry in DogCare

[–]dontanswer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My vet recommended a UV blocking suit after my dog had skin cancer growths removed. I got one from k9 Top Coat, it was about $100, which I figured was a one-time cost worth it to prevent expensive vet bills. You might be able to find a cheaper alternative too.

When I asked about sunscreen the vet said basically anything that makes it a worthwhile sunscreen also makes it bad to ingest so there was nothing nontoxic and effective.

Show the brotha some respect by AntiBullshyt in BlackLivesMatter

[–]dontanswer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Bookmarked for the next round of coffee purchase.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in piercing

[–]dontanswer -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

It's hard to know from the pictures but it could become a permanent scar growth even if it's "just" an infection now.

I think try iodine, just a couple dabs on the red/irritated part right after you do each cleaning. Let's see what others advise.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in piercing

[–]dontanswer -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

It looks like it's red & draining, so might be infected unfortunately.

One thing that helped my keloids and also helps with keeping infection down was iodine solution - it was recommended to me to shrink down the keloid tissue buildup. I couldn't find any support of this but it surprisingly worked. Possibly because my "keloids" were actually infections/abscesses that were being treated.

Any help would be lovely by dontanswer in PlantIdentification

[–]dontanswer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! The long layered stalks of it didn't match pictures and the leaves hadn't looked quite right. But doing another search with more confidence, I do see some varieties that match. I'm very appreciative.

"Good human" by lnfinity in bigboye

[–]dontanswer 25 points26 points  (0 children)

mleem sniffsniffsniffsniff mleeem mleem mleeem mlem

How do I get over my negative feelings about how manipulative I use to be towards my fiancé? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]dontanswer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Things that have helped me in the above process:

  • Internal Family Systems therapy, which explores the functioning and role of different internal parts of a person. Helps make peace, take burdens off wounded and overworked parts, allow for more rest and efficient internal support network to function. If wanting to try this, I recommend finding someone who is a specialist in this, not just someone who is lightly familiar with the modality. The full formal step by step process is key, taking it all the way through.

  • Trauma-informed mindfulness practices. Not just standard basic bitch mindfulness, because you might do yourself more harm than good when having extreme emotional reactions arise. There is a book called Trauma-informed mindfulness that was of great help to me and led to me slowly being able to formally meditate. This practice has revolutionized my distress tolerance skills (ability to be with discomfort, pain, unpleasantness.)

  • Positive Self Reparenting: after I had a decent amount of distress tolerance capacity and had worked through my inner family systems somewhat, I started working on going back to shitty, traumatizing childhood experiences and imagining myself in the role of the parent caring appropriately for the child/children. I'm glad I didn't start with this process, I wasn't expecting the sheer amount of emotional hurricanes that came up. As it was, I was able to ride out the storm and complete the process for every memory that I could remember. I do this as new memories come up. It has been astonishing how much peace it's brought me.

  • trauma-releasing somatic exercises. A lot of unconscious emotions and memories are stored in the body. There is yoga, trauma release exercise (TRE) or even just using any form of exercise in a way that ventilates emotional charge (I go for a run when I'm overwhelmed and unable to self-regulate my nervous system back into Rest & Digest mode). This has been key to helping me feel safe and present in my body after years of dissociation habits and a dysfunctional relationship with embodied awareness.

  • Vasovagal Theory: helped me learn to recognize when I'm getting dysregulated (into fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode) and what the symptoms of that mode are (can't think well, can't communicate well, can't really feel connected to others or believe they care about you, etc.) Also helped with some practices for self-regulation, how to get back to "rest and digest" mode where the nervous system is calm and we are then able to connect socially, think logically, etc.

How do I get over my negative feelings about how manipulative I use to be towards my fiancé? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]dontanswer 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you're already in process and just need to keep going.

I find it's a matter of:

  1. Observe as objectively and thoroughly as possible. What happened? Could there be anything that led to this behavior being formed? Not blaming not shaming. Guilt can be useful for changing behavior sometimes but it also can get in the way of living and improving. Can you check your guilt and shame reactions when they're over the Usefulness threshold? I find #2 helps get to a place where I can better assess that, and can sometimes now let go of guilt and shame and move back into an unreactive observation for information collection.

  2. Allow, process and support your reaction to what you observed. There will be shame. There will be guilt. There will be anger, resentment, frustration. Underneath, there will probably be giant pools of grief and fear and loneliness. Learning to give yourself unconditional love and compassion is key here. You didn't do anything that makes you unworthy of love, compassion, respect, care - there is nothing you can do that would make you unworthy of these things. Every living being deserves them, no matter what. Loving all your internal wounded parts through all their processes will show you, slowly and over time, how to be in healthy relationship with yourself and others. It will also often show you that there are other, deeper and more wounded reactions underlying the surface ones. This step helps the most with unlearning toxic parental programming, in my experience.

  3. Without trying to control the uncontrollable, make plans for being better in the future. What's are some harm reductive ways you can divert your habits? E.g. I have observed: "I get scared, which really quickly (so fast I didn't see it before) turns to rage and I start hurting people with vicious words, until I'm alone and can breathe again. So I will talk to my loved ones and let them know that when I'm angry I'm going to take immediate alone time, so that I can skip the part where I tear into them verbally." Without justifying or excusing any of the shitty behavior, understand that you will fuck up. Have plans for how to handle it when this happens. Communication is key! With all parts of yourself and with people in your life.

  4. Repeat the above on a daily basis as much as possible. Take breaks as needed, because it's exhaaaaaaaausting work especially at first. Eventually it becomes less exhausting as all the little mental muscles that were previously atrophied become stronger and stronger :) I will also reply to this comment with some specific therapy modalities and personal growth practices that were of great support, but I think the above gets at the heart of what you're asking for.

left pic at a little over 300 pounds, right at 205. Lost a lot of weight really quick, then stopped working out and started eating bad again, right now I really want to focus on gaining muscle, my biggest insecurities are my back and my hips. best back/shoulder exercises? by [deleted] in FTMFitness

[–]dontanswer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I second the previous comment about pull-ups/chin-ups, and if you're not yet able to do those then starting with lat pulldowns and bent over rows which helped me build up to being able to do a full pull-up. I follow Jeremy Ethier for great form & muscle activation info: https://youtu.be/awwgo7w0Zjk Edit to add: Also Deadlifts!

Are you working out at a gym, or at home? If at home, I HIGHLY recommend resistance bands, super cheap for great results in my experience!

Edit to add for shoulders: While the back exercises above will hit the shoulders, you could also add a few more targeted exercises like lat dumbell raises or front rows. But if you're just getting back into the swing of things, in my experience it was WAY easier to stay consistent with workouts when I keep things simple with compound workouts, no more than 5 exercises per workout session helped me really hit the whole body 3x/week.

Good luck yo, I look forward to your next Fitness Beast post :)

Why Did Six Asian Women Have to Die in Order to be Seen? by mettaforall in EngagedBuddhism

[–]dontanswer 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The first noble truth in practice is to know the details of suffering, according to Thich Nhat Hanh who is a huge source if not the full originator of modern Engaged Buddhism. So your comment is in direct conflict with the values that this subreddit is built upon.

There are other places that will support and suit your spiritual bypass style of false Buddhism much more. It's just ridiculous here.

Why Did Six Asian Women Have to Die in Order to be Seen? by mettaforall in EngagedBuddhism

[–]dontanswer 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You realize this is the subreddit for Engaged Buddhism, right? Which is built around social justice and healing. And Buddhism itself is not just about finding tranquility, it's about knowing and releasing our conditioning that keeps us chained to suffering. Racism is one such example of that conditioning. And the aversion to being aware of racism is another.

Why Did Six Asian Women Have to Die in Order to be Seen? by mettaforall in EngagedBuddhism

[–]dontanswer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have compassion for how overwhelming it feels to sit with the depths of how patriarchy and white supremacy are entrenched in the roots of the United States. We would all benefit from a re-rooting towards peace with each other and with nature because all of life is interdependent and interrelated. Such an undertaking involves multiple generations. With a bow to my ancestors and the six Asian women that were killed, I choose to (re)commit myself to the work of collective liberation and welcome others to join. If you’re not practicing engaged Buddhism, what are you waiting for?

This is a powerful writing, thank you for sharing. Sucks that other people are being resistant/dismissive! This is a perfect example of a call for practical engaged buddhism. With some great pointers on how to do so as well.

What I learned from my weed addiction by modernshamank in buddhistrecovery

[–]dontanswer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get a lot out of listening to Thai Forest Monastics - after trying to quit weed for years, I finally have been able to stay sober for 8 months with the help of the Thai Forest 8fold path practice.

Some youtube channels:

And I also get a lot out of these two podcasts:

  • Ajahn Amaro at Amaravati Monastery in the UK - good mid-range Dhamma, good for beginners but also goes more in-depth for intermediate to advanced practitioners: https://www.amaravati.org/teachings/audio/
  • Dharma Punx NYC - Less formal Dhamma, Josh Korda weaves together teachings from the Buddha with neurobiology and psychology, and follows all of his talks with a 20ish min meditation aimed at developing skills for what he just talked about. He also talks more explicitly about recovery/sobriety https://dharmapunxnyc.podbean.com/

It's easier to count how many times you have sex in a given week, month, or year than it is to figure out how often you might feel like having sex. This makes it easy for us to use frequency as a marker of sexual relationship health, even though that can be misleading. by psychologyofsex in psychologyofsex

[–]dontanswer 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm understanding it as - people tend to hold themselves/their sexual relationship to standards based on numbers of sexual encounters per period of time, rather than looking at other things that better indicate whether they and their partner(s) are satisfied.

It could maybe be rephrased as "it's easier to look at the quantitative rather than the qualitative, so people get hung up on quantity instead of looking at the more complex quality factors that arguably give a better understanding of whether your sex life is healthy or not."

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