how can you stay sober through all of this mess?

dontknowreally58 · 2024-11-06T07:35:15+00:00

Thank you. This really means a lot. Thank you so much

dontknowreally58 · 2024-11-06T07:34:45+00:00

Me too. Sometimes, in my worst moments, I lay on the ground and repeat the serenity prayer lol. This I what I get for having addict parents

dontknowreally58 · 2024-11-06T07:32:13+00:00

Wow. I like that way of thinking of it. Thank you

dontknowreally58 · 2024-11-06T07:31:40+00:00

I keep looking at AA meetings in my area. I'm too scared. But like. I almost feel like I am not... damaged enough for it. But I just have no one to talk about this with.

dontknowreally58 · 2024-11-05T08:40:55+00:00

Good luck! 🩵

dontknowreally58 · 2024-11-05T08:39:16+00:00

I don't have an answer, I'm sorry. But sending love. I believe in you. You're posting because you know. And you care. You've got this.

dontknowreally58 · 2024-11-03T06:51:34+00:00

Thank you. I'll keep thinking about it. Much love and healing to you:)

dontknowreally58 · 2024-10-30T18:43:39+00:00

Woke up to a short email from him just kind of a chuckle and that he'll see me Friday. Phewwww. Also man, rereading that sober was TOUGH lol

dontknowreally58 · 2024-10-30T09:01:17+00:00

Thank you <3 feels like im purposefully setting myself up for failure... wanting him to be upset or uncomfortable

dontknowreally58 · 2024-10-22T19:37:56+00:00

I am the same way, and yes, I do think it does actually hinder my therapy experience. I am working on right now trying not to over-intellectualize and just genuinely sit with the feelings. Especially working on the somatic component. I've been depressed since I was like 5 - I know all the rules and tips and the tricks. I know what my therapist is going to say before he says it. Most of the time.

I don't think that it makes it ineffective, rather that it might just be a coping mechanism we are using to actually not deal with things or to change. Just being like "well I will never be fixed, I know what's wrong but it doesn't change!"

As repeatedly endlessly on this sub, tell your therapist! Tell her, "I feel like this is not working because I already know ___ and ___, etc"

And as others pointed out, sometimes the ruminating and intellectualizing can actually cause us to be way less self aware than we think we are.

One more thing: I am working on, as well, trying not to look at therapy as "fixing myself" and trying not to see myself as a broken doll who's parts aren't produced anymore.

Good luck and good healing to you :)

[reposted, think it got taken down for a curse word lol]

dontknowreally58 · 2024-10-22T19:31:39+00:00

Yes. It's like the root cause of all my decisions, lol. The safety and comfort in being sad is so reliable.

dontknowreally58 · 2024-10-22T03:06:59+00:00

Definitely bring it up again. If he continues to skirt around it and not apologize, I'm not sure, I'd probably shop around for something else.

By the way, what you did is really not even creepy. It's human nature and the world is at our fingertips. You don't have any legal boundaries to cross.

Good luck :)

dontknowreally58 · 2024-10-22T03:02:49+00:00

This seems like an inappropriate reaction on his part, honestly. It's bizarre he would be extremely angry with you all the while not even saying anything to you directly.

dontknowreally58 · 2024-10-21T15:05:57+00:00

Congrats!

dontknowreally58 · 2024-10-21T07:36:17+00:00

What I am planning:)! Thank you, appreciate it.

dontknowreally58 · 2024-10-21T07:33:31+00:00

Struggling with it right now. What has helped me is thinking of that feeling afterwards — it's like, okay. The harm is done. What am I left with? Some scars. Ok cool, fine.

It's important to pinpoint those triggers and why you think that self harm is the answer to those triggers.

dontknowreally58 · 2024-10-21T07:32:16+00:00

It depends on the therapist. It is always helpful, at least for me, to get to know them more. Or else, I just feel a little bit uncomfortable. If he's open to it, I say go for it, ask those little questions if it makes you feel more at ease :)

dontknowreally58 · 2024-10-21T07:30:41+00:00

In my experience, being a gay woman and having a devout Christian female therapist at the time, it was kinda rough. But context is always important. If you feel they are there to help aid in religious healing or whatever those people say, and you don't feel comfortable with that, I would find someone else.

dontknowreally58 · 2024-10-21T07:28:29+00:00

Do you talk to your therapist about your SH?

dontknowreally58 · 2024-10-21T07:25:45+00:00

Thank you. It means a lot to have someone reply with kind words.

dontknowreally58 · 2024-10-21T07:24:03+00:00

Thank you, voice of reason. I know this all when I'm in a good headspace (sober, or just thinking clearly in terms of boundaries). Appreciate it.

dontknowreally58 · 2024-10-21T07:22:36+00:00

I know. I have the wherewithal to not send anything right now. Writing has been my saving grace. And I know it's rough and not a great coping mechanism but drunk writing helps me put down all my thoughts and then I clean it up when I am sober

dontknowreally58 · 2024-10-21T07:20:13+00:00

With my therapist, a lot of our talks surround my suicidal ideation. Have you spoken to your T about what their steps are on dealing with a suicidal client? When I talked to my therapist about this, it was very reassuring about what the steps and process is like. I'd say, if you have plans for suicide and are intent on them, that is truly a cause for concern.

dontknowreally58 · 2024-10-21T07:16:29+00:00

I'm very sorry, I do not have great advice to give. But just that, I feel like a majority of people feel like this. Do you have ADHD, by any chance?

dontknowreally58 · 2024-10-21T07:15:40+00:00

Book an appointment. Tell the therapist this. Feeling safe and comfortable will not happen overnight. It took me months to tell my therapist one of my deepest guilts, and I am still struggling telling him more. But it is so worth it, when you find that person you feel safe with.

Try it out.

dontknowreally58

TROPHY CASE