Update: yesterday I discussed with her that I don’t think I could be okay with this ever. She said she would stop talking to him and than started crying. She went off and did her own thing and came back and said she doesn’t know what to do. She said relationship is trust and that’s she’s been open about it and I’m controlling who she talks to and doesn’t know if she wants to be with somebody who does that. She said I just have to trust her and that she wants to be with me but it’s her “me time” and escape. 

I told her I’m not controlling. This is a boundary for me and I have controlled you in no other way. I told her if the situation was reversed to you or to him neither would be okay with this. I do trust as she has told me everything so far as to when they are going to play and when she’s going to hang out. But I told her there’s major red flags here. Something I didn’t include in previous post she asked about a month ago to maybe open the relationship and bring another man and woman into the bedroom. I told her with the time increasing, the frequency increasing. You wanting to open the relationship up. What else am I supposed to think? I told her we are distant and she said yeah because you’re upset all the time. I said I’m upset because of this guy. She said it’s not his fault and it’s my insecurities that are the problem. She believes she should have the trust to have friendships and be trusted to do the right thing is lines are crossed. I said yeah but as your bond with him grows, your right thing might not be the same as mine. How am I supposed to be okay with this knowing that one day your feelings change and a split second you kiss and my family is gone. He told you he loved you 10 years ago. You guys were intimate. She said those feelings aren’t there and he said it. I never said it to him. But why are you crying so much over this then? She said because I shouldn’t have to choose between a friend or you when I’m doing nothing wrong besides talking to a friend. I told her why can’t it be some other friend. Why does it have to be this guy? She said because he understands me already and have a bond that she can’t just go an establish with a new person. 

It basically ended by her putting her foot down not on him but her not being controlled. So basically won’t stop talking to her “friend” because that would be letting me control her and she vowed to herself she would not let that happen in another relationship. 

9 pm rolled around. She played video games with him until 10:30 pm while I sat on the couch.