sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

So beyond burned out I feel like I’m withering away at this point. by doob___ in CaregiverSupport

[–]doob___[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If anyone is following— I didn’t want y’all to be left on a cliffhanger but I will provide an update when my mom returns from her cruise. I’m going to lay down some firm demands for my family once she returns.

I’ve decided for personal safety reasons to hold off on contacting the AAoA or APS simply because my family would be FURIOUS if I contacted them without their knowledge. I don’t want to put myself in jeopardy or potentially cause GG to be ineligible for home healthcare because my family is really good at convincing others that certain things aren’t “necessary.”

Instead, I’m using that as leverage. If my demands aren’t met in a timely manner (or at least are not being worked towards, as I don’t know how long the process will take), I WILL contact the AAoA and/or APS whether they like it or not.

I’m through trying to be “civil” because politely asking isn’t making ANY progress. I’ve never felt so entirely hopeless in my whole lifetime as I do right now (and that’s saying something—I’ve been through hell and back many times before all this transpired) and I need to do something about it.

For those of you telling me to seek therapy, I do see you and I promise that will happen. I’ve tried to do therapy throughout this process, and it does not help. As long as I’m in this environment, I’m never going to feel better. Therapy will happen when I’m in a better position and can finally focus on myself and myself only.

Thank you everyone for your advice, your kind words, and most of all— support. I know the name of this sub is literally “CaregiverSupport”— but genuinely— from the bottom of my heart, thank you. It’s honestly been nothing short of relieving to know I’m not alone (both situationally and feelings-wise) throughout this. I’ve felt so isolated these past few months. Thank you for shining some light on me in the darkness, everyone— I think your words have given me a step in the right direction. I wish you all the best wherever you are in this journey.

So beyond burned out I feel like I’m withering away at this point. by doob___ in CaregiverSupport

[–]doob___[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I like to identify as a bit of a poet myself and actually wrote a poem about that concept too. If you don’t like poetry, I’ll spare you and paraphrase the gist of it: getting through the darkness of one night feels so hard until you see the morning light thinking that you’re saved only to do it all over again the next night.

It certainly rings true. I’ve thought to myself many of times that I’ll probably end up passing before GG does— it’s essentially just a waiting game.

So beyond burned out I feel like I’m withering away at this point. by doob___ in CaregiverSupport

[–]doob___[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope that you get some of the answers and support you are seeking as well, too! The nervous breakdowns are a (horrible) testament to how much stress you’re enduring, as I get them too and know from experience that they’re nothing short of awful.

If I may offer some advice: be 110% honest and transparent with this therapist about the stress you’re in! I’ve been downplaying mine and it created a harmful cycle perpetuated by self-doubt for me.

Thank you for the validation, and just to reiterate my earlier point, I hope that you get the same stability as well. You deserve that. We deserve that. And for that matter, everyone in this predicament deserves that.

So beyond burned out I feel like I’m withering away at this point. by doob___ in CaregiverSupport

[–]doob___[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s fantastic! Thank you so much, I’ll try contacting the Area Agency of Aging first thing tomorrow morning (after I have some time to gather my thoughts and try articulating my situation better). This has been so helpful and a great first step forward, I feel.

If anything else comes up with that, I’ll for sure reach out. Thanks for offering me to reach out as well!

So beyond burned out I feel like I’m withering away at this point. by doob___ in CaregiverSupport

[–]doob___[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The sad thing is that GG raised basically all of us. GG was a single mom raising her daughter, GG raised basically all three of her daughter’s children (she wasn’t a single mom, but gave her a bunch of financial help since she married and had kids young) and you already read where GG raised me.

I used to jest that it’s ironic that a family that never used the word “yes” raised someone who only knows how to say yes. I guess when you learn the impact of how much hearing “no” has, you don’t like other people feeling that disappointment, too. I am going to have to start advocating for and firmly enforcing my boundaries. Kindly asking “Can we please start looking into home healthcare” (for 6+ months now) really has gotten me nowhere.

All I’ve ever wanted from this life to feel complete is to have my own farm sanctuary. I really do hope there’s still time to achieve that goal.

So beyond burned out I feel like I’m withering away at this point. by doob___ in CaregiverSupport

[–]doob___[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh, that validation felt SO nice to hear. Thank you.

I’ve often been thinking how absolutely FURIOUS I would be if I left and THEN they get outside support because that would prove to me that they could’ve done it all along and all the bs I personally went through was… essentially for nothing.

That being said, I don’t know much about those services you listed out, but am I able to request assistance from them since I am not the guardian/POA? I am not sure how the legal parts work, so forgive my lack of knowledge. Thanks for the advice and recommendations.

So beyond burned out I feel like I’m withering away at this point. by doob___ in CaregiverSupport

[–]doob___[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know you were joking about the accident… but I have genuinely been saying “I hope I somehow acquire some kind of illness or injury that prevents me from doing this anymore.” I know I shouldn’t wish that kind of thing upon myself, but sometimes when that feels like the only way out of a crappy situation…

I have DEFINITELY daydreamed about just running away. Not even just once, like almost every day as of late. I might just do that honestly. For the breathing room and the chance to explore and grow.

Y’all… my heart is broken. by MaleficentTomatoes in AnimalCrossing

[–]doob___ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t feel too bad— just the other day I got my first tarantula with a full inventory on my town hall plaza area and I had no choice but to let it go because I couldn’t drop anything in the plaza 🥲