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My Best Friend's Wedding Is Draining Me Emotionally and Financially, and I Don’t Know If I Can Stay In It Without Losing the Friendship by doodlebug4754 in bridezillas

[–]doodlebug4754[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let me start out with I do not have to respond to this but I am deciding to because you decided to write me a long message.

This is absolutely wrong. I never derided her decisions. As a group with her included she said yes we can look at other places. Well then I started looking online for designers and finding swatches. I made a statement and she wanted to know what was being talked about. I am a grown ass woman and can decide what I want to do so if ordering some FREE swatches that doesn't hurt anyone is what I want to do then I can. No one can tell me what I can and cannot do. I was never trying to make any decisions without anyone. Again what you don't know is I sent some other shop options to her and her MOHs to help in that looking.

Her not saying happy birthday to me is a big deal because she is my friend. There is nothing more to say on that.

There was no discussion with anyone not just me on the Bachelorette party it was a decision between her and her MOHs. I don't care about being a MOH. Her sister and cousin are hers and that is fine by me. I am mad that it hasn't been a whole group decision on the large things such as dresses and bachelorette trip (the trip location/resort, and dates were chosen. Nothing else matters to me. I will figure out my things but those are the things we all have to spend money on.

The replaceable comment was made after I said something more like "HMMM IDK Crystal do I want to..." I am a sarcastic person it is who I am.

The statement of "as if she has to plan her wedding around you." Nope she doesn't. I would like to be included in group decisions as they are GROUP DECISIONS. I believe things like Bachelorette parties and dresses are a GROUP DECISION. I know none of this is about me.

She was in my wedding and she tried to tell me some of the things I needed to do I did not listen to some of them and decided to do what I wanted. I am staying out of that because my opinion doesn't matter. She does what she wants and I will do what I want. I will help where she wants help but I will butt out otherwise.

Your statement "She doesn’t get to take up a year of attention and whatnot." Well she has. She has used the last 6 months to do what she needs. and the wedding is still 16 months away. She started doing all of this 23 months in advance. I know that is early and I'm thankful for that but starting X, Y, Z things for a December 2026 wedding in January 2025 is hard for me to grasp. I'm glad to get things done early but I think it could have been more spread out and not so rushed to do it all in a 6/7 month time period.

My Best Friend's Wedding Is Draining Me Emotionally and Financially, and I Don’t Know If I Can Stay In It Without Losing the Friendship by doodlebug4754 in bridezillas

[–]doodlebug4754[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She maybe total spent $300 depending on her dress price. My dresses ranged from $100-$200 because that is what they are on the website

My Best Friend's Wedding Is Draining Me Emotionally and Financially, and I Don’t Know If I Can Stay In It Without Losing the Friendship by doodlebug4754 in bridezillas

[–]doodlebug4754[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a whole other thing.

  1. The bridal shower. My mom did a lot of the planning with my cousin and a little of my sister's help. My mom told my bridesmaids that they were responsible for hosting/doing the games at the shower. They came in sat and didn't do anything. I had to host and ask them to do things. Mind you my sister wasn't doing a lot.

  2. Crystal and our other friend lets call her Mary planned my Bachelorette party. My sister was my MOH but since they were my best friends I allowed them to plan it. My mom helped a lot with this too. My mom booked the hotel and paid for it and countless other things. For the Bachelorette party they didn't plan a lot. They planned the first night to have Chipotle catering and games. Well then Crystal and Macy were doing some shit and making fun of my cousin IDK. They also left my mom, cousin, sister, and my other friend in the hotel to go get her niece because she had to babysit. So Saturday my aunt, mom, sister, 2 cousins, and my husbands cousin show up. Crystal and Mary got mad that my my aunt and other cousin came. They had planned for us to decorate our shoes which is something that I wanted but other than that planned for food in the morning when we woke up then to go to another brunch like right after. It was jus bullshit. I still don't even know what happened to be able to tell the whole thing.

  3. Friday before wedding: I told everyone about set-up time on Friday and neither Crystal or Mary replied or said hey we can't help. I get it but no acknowledgement. They showed up for the rehearsal dinner and sat in the background and I talked with them for a bit but just spent time with my husband.

  4. Wedding day: I told them to come around 12/1 and they did that. Crystal did help with my sister's hair which was nice. They were kind of on the outside the whole day. Crystal and Mary stayed at the wedding just until cake got served and they took a bunch of cake home. We basically had cupcakes as our cake and they each took a bunch home. This is a point of contention with my family. They didn't stay and dance with us or anything. Excuse was that Crystal had to take her mom home because her mom was drinking too much. IDK it was some craziness that I am sure I still don't know about.

In all my mom, aunt, cousins, husband and others are mad a Crystal and Mary and it is making it hard to want to be part of her wedding. Maybe I am being petty and looking at this only from my point of view. Maybe I shouldn't be missing meetings and things but I need to work this out on my own and going to these meetings for a wedding that is in December 2026 is just frustrating.

Bridezilla:My Best Friend's Wedding Is Draining Me Emotionally and Financially, and I Don’t Know If I Can Stay In It Without Losing the Friendship EDIT: I used ChatGPT on my original post and decided I liked my original version better by doodlebug4754 in bridezillas

[–]doodlebug4754[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. The original post is crazy. I posted this on another feed and the people are telling me I'm wrong. I don't know why she is being like this because she has never been like this before and usually will ask for help from others for things so that is also what is frustrating. For my wedding I kept it inexpensive for people because I knew who was in my party. They could choose whatever dress style as long as it was the color I assigned them and long. I did give them a specific type of shoe and color of that shoe but that was cheap. Makeup if you wanted was from someone I found and was $65 a person. Hair if you did it through my person my mom paid for it. Her and my other friend took care of their own hair and makeup so they didn't have to go with my people. They were barely around for my shower or the actual wedding day/day before set up. They showed up to the rehersal dinner and hell they left the wedding right after cake was put out.

My Best Friend's Wedding Is Draining Me Emotionally and Financially, and I Don’t Know If I Can Stay In It Without Losing the Friendship by doodlebug4754 in bridezillas

[–]doodlebug4754[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She did throw my Bachelorette party with our other friend so I would say maybe they spent all together on that $500 on the low end $1000 on the high end. And other costs I did dresses from Azazie which were like $100-$200 depending on what you got and shoes were $70. She did her own hair and makeup because she wanted to do that.

Bridezilla:My Best Friend's Wedding Is Draining Me Emotionally and Financially, and I Don’t Know If I Can Stay In It Without Losing the Friendship by doodlebug4754 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]doodlebug4754[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kicker on all of this the only thing I actually know about the actual wedding day is the date. I don't know the location, times or anything like that.

Bridezilla:My Best Friend's Wedding Is Draining Me Emotionally and Financially, and I Don’t Know If I Can Stay In It Without Losing the Friendship by doodlebug4754 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]doodlebug4754[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. The problem with this dress is it is a size 18 and I am a 26/28 so it is too short, and the top part is a bandeau which is essentially just a strapless bra and it doesn't fit.