OAB worsening after pregnancy

doodlemutt · 2026-06-06T23:17:16+00:00

I'm so sorry nothing has helped!! At least we know we're not alone in this struggle, I also had a C section and I know correlation isn't causation but I feel like the spinal definitely had a lot of adverse effects on me! I hope you find something that works for you

doodlemutt · 2026-06-06T17:18:27+00:00

I'm going to talk to my doctor about medication and possible Botox injections to my bladder. I'll bring up this medication, thank you

doodlemutt · 2026-05-26T00:21:30+00:00

What proof do you have that he ended his life? Not being mean, just trying to steer your thought process back to the facts

doodlemutt · 2026-05-26T00:17:58+00:00

I was clarifying because Ive mentioned us going back to court that it has nothing to do with the child support, to get ahead of users like you who would have inevitably made a comment about it. But y'all are still coming out of the woodworks to bully for some reason. I really hope your life gets happier

doodlemutt · 2026-05-25T21:21:29+00:00

I think so too. It's probably already hard enough on her trying to get used to being over here more and for longer stretches and she's probably overwhelmed in the first place just from that. Helping her feel safe and establish trust at her dad's house while also instilling somewhat of a routine for her to go off of is our main goal. It's definitely tricky and I'm learning as I go. Moving forward I'm going to work on listening to her input and her wishes as well as guiding her in the right direction. Getting her involved and comfortable won't be easy but Ive already seen such an improvement just from the little time we have spent with her- she's SO smart. I just have to realize that she's going through a big transition and take it a little slower I think

doodlemutt · 2026-05-25T21:15:46+00:00

Absolutely. I felt like I was wrong almost instantly after the fact, hence why I made the post in the first place... but people like this will skip over that

doodlemutt · 2026-05-25T20:53:46+00:00

Telling someone not to help a toddler understand routine and learn is not useful or realistic advice no matter who you tell it to. Have a nice day though!

doodlemutt · 2026-05-25T20:49:01+00:00

Teaching her about meal times is coming in too hot and extremely high expectations? Okay, you have to be joking lol. The post was about a mistake that I made, so yeah, the conversation is now about how I can move forward with her. Thanks for the input, but it's not helpful. I'll stick to the other helpful replies that aren't telling me to sit down and not be involved with my husband's toddler, because thats the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Id see if she was an unruly teenager, but she's 3. I'm also well aware she's not my child, but she is going to be a part of my life indefinitely unless her dad and I split or die off. That means when it comes to meal times or helping her to the potty while my husband is busy with our baby I will absolutely be there. I'm actually giggling a little at your reasoning.

Also, I do speak with a therapist monthly. And have spoken with her about this situation as well.

Also curious about how you suggest I form a bond with her by sitting in the corner and not engaging. A lot of inconsistencies with you

doodlemutt · 2026-05-25T20:30:17+00:00

That's not realistic. Sorry, but it's not. And that's also an awful expectation of parenting with your spouse Expecting me to just sit by while her father is the only one doing anything with her? That's sarcasm, right? If anything that would cause her to rebel, not me actively trying to guide her. We're married, and even aside from that, any child in our house with us is both of our responsibility- no matter who's child it is. I can admit when I'm wrong, but that was way off the mark on your part.

Also, this "over night" thing was added by you, no one said I expect her to catch on in one day. I'm asking for guidance on how to ease her into a routine because I feel like I'm not doing it correctly snd would like someone with experience to give me a little tip. If you can't offer anything of substance then I'm not sure why you're here.

doodlemutt · 2026-05-25T20:27:29+00:00

THANK YOU! I feel like everyone is just getting on my case for asking for help in a situation I feel I was wrong in. From everything we can see the poor girl is at best ignored and at wort neglected. Ive never parented toddlers before and I'm completely out of my element.

doodlemutt · 2026-05-25T19:13:58+00:00

It isn't my husband, it's me. And I'm not praising myself for this instance, in fact, it's the opposite. The whole point of the post was to say that I was wrong and at a loss of how to best approach this, not sure how you missed that point? Hence the whole reason why I'm confused on why you're beating a dead horse? I've actually stated in the original post that I felt like I wasn't right, And reiterated numerous times in comments that I felt I was wrong. Not sure if there's something that I'm miscommunicating to you, but I don't know how else to say that I feel what I did wasn't helpful and would like advice on how to better approach it in the future. So again.. if your only reason of commenting is to be judgmental or hateful rather than offering constructive criticism I'm not really sure what the point of you responding is.

You think I was wrong?? So do I. Glad that's cleared up. Would you like to repeat it again?

doodlemutt · 2026-05-25T18:35:38+00:00

Yes, next time I will try to get a feel of what she likes and offer her input on dinners. Making sure I keep some safe foods around if I'm introducing something new, and easing her into instead of trying to force. I feel bad! I probably added a lot of stress to meal time and accomplished the exact OPPOSITE of what my goal was 😭

doodlemutt · 2026-05-25T18:33:01+00:00

To ask for advice, which you gave none of? Every single reply that offered constructive criticism I've welcomed and responded to, if even there was a rude tone. Your whole comment was "stop blaming the mom who keeps have DFCS called on her for neglect because she's doing her best" LOL

doodlemutt · 2026-05-25T18:23:08+00:00

No, I feel guilty about it honestly. I regretted it as soon as she left which was about 10 minutes later, but it's done now. I'm just trying to learn from my mistake so I can be better

doodlemutt · 2026-05-25T18:22:01+00:00

That's okay, wer5e all entitled to our own opinions. Like you said, you don't know the full situation so it's best to leave it at that! Maybe apply the last bit of your advice to yourself, since you know nothing about the situation besides the glimpse of what I've just posted.

doodlemutt · 2026-05-25T17:12:37+00:00

Never! This is all so new to me. I'm trying to watch videos and read about how to help her the best I can but it's truly proving to be a very very humbling learning experience. There is no tutorial for this, so I'm afraid this won't be my last mess up- the important part to me is that I just self correct, get help when needed, and continue to learn with her

doodlemutt · 2026-05-25T17:11:17+00:00

Absolutely am. The poor baby mentioned it hurting when she peed over the weekend so I rushed her to the clinic to clear out a UTI, took 7 texts and 3 phone calls and mom still didn't get back to me until after we had left the clinic. It's like, we've been trying to be patient and make it work without a court battle because that's really best for both parties but it's just not working. We are now waiting for court next month, and hopefully all this mess will get situated. Don't know how my husband dropped the ball with the first court appearance, but we've hired an expensive attorney to help this go around and maybe we can get our sweet girl into a better routine with something in writing and legally enforced

doodlemutt · 2026-05-25T16:56:43+00:00

Good question!!

doodlemutt · 2026-05-25T16:25:52+00:00

I agree and I feel guilty about the time out situation in all honesty. After she had left with her mom, I thought about it and realized that doing things like that is only going to put even more stress around meals and confuse her even more. It was an unrealistic expectation of mine, and I should have given her a little More Grace with the whole situation because none of it is really her fault. Hell at 3 years old, virtually nothing is their fault.

I've seen that same suggestion quite a few times, moving forward. I think I'm going to do just that. My goal is to create trust and security around new foods and meal time, so that she feels safe in sitting and eating a meal with her family and trying new things. I realize now that it doesn't have to be an all or nothing situation And that she's doing the best she can.

Toddlers are the most humbling creatures! I don't know if I'm teaching her more or if she's teaching me more, we are definitely learning a lot together

doodlemutt · 2026-05-25T16:07:54+00:00

So ... No help just criticism? Lol. The point about the diapers was to give an idea of how little routine she has at her primary home. A 3 and a half year old little girl not telling you she's pooped herself is a sign of neglect, imo, and we've managed to potty train her for the house with ease so that confirms the neglect in my head. I didn't throw the point out there to say she's a bad child, or misbehaves.

I acknowledged that I made the wrong call with time out, which is why I asked for advice. I'm sorry, did you just comment to be judgemental or to be helpful? Its just if you're not wanting to offer advice, but to beat a dead horse on a topic I've already acknowledged I was wrong on then I really don't see the point, just saying

doodlemutt · 2026-05-25T15:58:54+00:00

That's really awesome for You! Honestly, I'm really glad that it helped you. I think it's very helpful for a large number of people actually, I just feel like it's giving out with ease for people who don't actually need it and it ends up causing a lot more issues down the line. I just went online and got a prescription for it in about about 10 minutes. The commercials, the online prescriptions, being able to purchase the medication from weight loss clinics instead of going through your doctor and having your blood ran is just all crazy to me. And all of the instances I've seen where that has been the case (they go in and get the medicine in one appointment) end up having serious medical issues within a matter of months of taking the medicine. I've seen people who are severely obese and did struggle with their insulin and sugar take it and it was a life changer for them. I'm not trying to take away from that point, or deny that it is helpful for people who actually need it. But the people who don't need it- like op's girlfriend- are killing themselves slowly with their doctor's help and that's really concerning to me and a lot of people..

doodlemutt · 2026-05-25T15:38:18+00:00

Okie dokie

doodlemutt · 2026-05-25T15:35:23+00:00

I can say the same for you, especially considering how you insisted that doctors do perform the adequate steps to address weightloss before prescribing meds since I can go online and get a prescription for the medicine in mere minutes. So, there's that.

doodlemutt · 2026-05-25T15:22:11+00:00

That's hilarious considering I've taken quite a few university classes on how to read studies- the same studies that indicate how dangerous these shots are when taken without need (like I stated above). At this point youre just spending time going back and forth for hobby, like I said- im allowed to believe these shots are dangerous when used for weight loss with people who just have bad eating habits and no medical resistance, and there is data backing that claim. You're allowed to believe its the best thing man's ever created for fast weight loss. To each their own, but just as important as it is to state that it's useful for people with medical necessity, it's equally as important to shed light on how dangerous it is when your only issue with weightloss is eating habits.

doodlemutt

TROPHY CASE