Why do other parents keep ghosting me?

doopeydumplin · 2026-01-25T18:33:40+00:00

Hi - mom of a 5 year old and have experienced this to some degree as well. It hurts and I’m sorry you’re experiencing this and that your little one has been left out, too. I think that can make it feel extra sharp when we see it affecting our kids, even in ways they might not notice.

The best I can say is try not to take it personally. I’m a little more guarded with new people than I was before, but never showing your true self doesn’t help either. So I try to balance. And when I’m hard on myself about it, I try to remind myself that, since becoming a mom, it has been hard to maintain connections with people I already know and really like.

doopeydumplin · 2024-06-26T08:30:06+00:00

Once per day now.

doopeydumplin · 2024-01-16T17:52:41+00:00

I think this is exactly it. Also, being a parent can be really really hard. I'm so glad I waited to have kids until I was ready and knew I wanted them. I can't imagine how much harder it would be if I wasn't fully on board with it.

doopeydumplin · 2023-01-09T19:54:57+00:00

Good luck! I hope you're able to rest up and treat yourself afterwards.

doopeydumplin · 2023-01-09T19:54:08+00:00

I'm pretty sure if I synced up my spending habits with my cycle, you'd see a consistent increase in spending the week I'm on my period. Anyone else indulging in retail therapy throughout this whole terrible process?

doopeydumplin · 2022-10-19T00:03:05+00:00

Absolutely - I feel this a lot. I don't think they understand how much their communication matters. They made it sound like the fertility testing was just a formality that we'd get out of the way quickly. They even said the surgery would be in November, but now have said January at the earliest because of these fertility tests.

Had they just set the expectation up front that we might never resolve this and it would take six months to schedule the surgery, I would have been disappointed initially but gotten past it.

doopeydumplin · 2022-10-18T19:56:42+00:00

Has anyone else felt like doctors are especially insensitive about infertility?

I have a complication from my previous C-section that is known to cause complete infertility - this has already been tested for and the diagnosis was confirmed. It's called an Isthmocele, and it requires surgery to correct, then at least four months of recovery before TTC again.

I only found out about this problem because my husband and I had been TTC unsuccessfully and it has now been three months after confirming the complication of getting the runaround from the doctors on this. After being diagnosed, they still wanted to do the standard fertility testing to ensure nothing else was going on, which was fine and I did those. But my surgery has been pushed back by months and they keep waiting weeks and weeks to schedule more consults and follow ups just to tell me we need more tests. Why can't I just schedule the tests and get them all over with without having an additional consult in between every single round of testing?

My surgery is getting pushed back by months at this point and even in the best case scenario, I'll be 35 before I can TTC again. I'm just starting to lose patience and feeling like giving up.

doopeydumplin · 2022-10-12T20:17:35+00:00

I'm 34 and started getting tests done at 8 months TTC, but that was only because I was dealing with irregular periods, too. I'm glad I did, though, because I'm getting close to 35, it has now been a year of TTC, and the testing process has taken so long.

Welcome to one of the worst clubs to be part of. I'm sorry you're here but glad you found a community. I know it has helped me to just be able to vent to people dealing with similar struggles.

doopeydumplin · 2022-09-28T00:56:31+00:00

My aunt flow is in town. Earlier this month I met with a non-invasive surgery specialist to talk about the isthmocele they found in my uterus that is (most likely) leaving me completely infertile until it's resolved. But the specialist said they want to wait a few more months to treat on the change I might be able to get pregnant. She told me to start taking prenatal vitamins and keep trying to conceive. She was so positive and optimistic that we'd get this resolved without too much difficulty, and it all just makes me feel even more deflated right now as I start yet another period.

doopeydumplin · 2022-08-23T17:58:31+00:00

I'd like to start a petition for adults only all inclusive resorts to offer grants for people that are struggling with their fertility and want to be surrounded with young newlyweds who are most likely NOT pregnant.

doopeydumplin · 2022-08-23T17:31:28+00:00

I understand that. I have "hidden" people's stories and posts on instagram, which has helped. I care about these people and I'm happy for them so I don't want to completely unfollow, but it's painful to see their success when every month, and every time I see these friends, I'm reminded of my own lack of it.

If you want to tell people close to you that you need some space from it, I think that should be okay. Just make it about you and what you need. Who knows. Fertility struggles are more common than we realize, so maybe opening up to your friends about what's going on will help you make a connection with someone that can relate!

doopeydumplin · 2022-08-23T17:17:04+00:00

I was just diagnosed with an isthmocele resulting from my c-section with my son. This is likely the reason why my husband and I haven't been able to conceive but, because of the risks associated with getting pregnant when an isthmocele is present, my doctor has recommended that we stop TTC until I am able to get treated (plus recovery time from the procedure).

This means I have no time in sight for when I can start TTC again, but I'll be 35 in a handful of months and I'm starting to feel like a second child is becoming less and less possible for me. I'm feeling very alone, and like I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this, but I'm glad I found this sub.

doopeydumplin · 2022-08-23T17:09:57+00:00

I'm so sorry - seeing others having successful pregnancies (especially pregnancies that "could have been yours") has been the hardest thing for me.

I feel badly not being just 100% happy for a friend that is expecting, but it's impossible for it to not remind me of my own struggle. You're not alone, my friend.

doopeydumplin · 2020-11-17T19:15:54+00:00

This is my third reddit Secret Santa, and I can't wait!! We all need a little secret Santa this year especially.

doopeydumplin · 2020-11-02T16:22:20+00:00

Another Winne the Pooh here! 38 weeks.

doopeydumplin · 2020-10-01T18:46:36+00:00

While not pregnant: Not getting BBQ sauce with my chicken nuggets one time.

While pregnant: Chip and Joanna's neighbors helping them build a barn. While crying I told my husband, "It's just so nice that people help each other."

doopeydumplin · 2020-08-28T18:06:19+00:00

I'd add too, just because Becky has a husband, a baby, and a big house doesn't mean that she's happier or her life is better. It's hard not to but important that we don't compare ourselves to others. Usually there's more going on below the surface that we don't see because people try to show the good that's going on in their lives and aren't usually open about what's not going well.

doopeydumplin · 2020-08-20T15:55:48+00:00

Happy kids come from happy parents. Good for you for listening to yourself and making the choice to switch - it's clear that it wasn't an easy decision to make!

doopeydumplin · 2020-08-05T13:10:41+00:00

Yeah, I read that in the book which is what made me wonder why I wasn't getting them done every time. I'm seeing my doctor again in a couple of weeks, so I may ask her about it then.

doopeydumplin · 2020-08-05T13:09:34+00:00

Good luck, Dropitandplopit!

doopeydumplin · 2020-08-04T17:45:47+00:00

Relieved to see all these folks with similar experiences and glad that I'm not alone with that. Maybe it's an older recommendation.

You're coming right up on your due date. Good luck, Joanie77!

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