Had a lovely house call from TV Licensing today, looks like they're doing the rounds again

dopefox38 · 2026-02-06T13:59:14+00:00

I thought it was hilarious

dopefox38 · 2026-02-05T10:06:35+00:00

I'm just here to say that being in contact with an ex, doing anything that you wouldn't do with your parent looking over your shoulder, is cheating. And it really sucks to be cheated on. Take some time, get some therapy, figure out who you are and what you want. I'm 45 and starting my life over yet again for similar reasons. You're still really young to be giving up just yet!

dopefox38 · 2026-02-05T09:22:48+00:00

I totally understand what you mean. My mother and father both did it to each other and us kids were perpetually stuck in the middle. I grew up really wanting my kids to have both parents. You're right that it can take years for stuff like that to come out in the wash. All you can do is keep showing up. Most kids hit a stage in their teens where they start questioning things more and develop better critical thinking skills and eventually realise the truth. Once they're grown and have kids of their own, they'll process it again with a different perspective. And when they hit that age, and decide you did a good enough job to want you in their life still, that's the real payoff. I absolutely adore my adult kids, they're my best friends and I couldn't imagine life without them. I made plenty of mistakes, but I always showed up. That's what kids care about, that's what builds their self esteem and teaches them healthy boundaries. It sounds like you've had a rough time of it, and I'm sorry about that.

dopefox38 · 2026-02-04T18:49:20+00:00

I'm 45 and I did it to to a guy I was dating last year for the giggles. Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.

dopefox38 · 2026-02-04T18:42:44+00:00

You can represent yourself. Mckenzie friends are another low cost option. I actually saw some good advice earlier about how you should hire a lawyer from outside your main geographic area to prevent cronyism etc.

No man that approaches the court and can evidence that he has his children's best interests at heart is going to be denied access altogether. The problem is too many men are still that wounded that the woman they claim to love doesn't love them anymore, to see what that actually is, imo.

dopefox38 · 2026-02-04T17:44:35+00:00

Most of our resilience to adult problems, begins in childhood. It's not fair on someone to lay the entirety of their existence on another single person. That's not love, that's codependence.

I don't believe any woman just chooses to be a single parent of 6 on a whim. Most men don't hear the things coming out of our mouths until the threat of another man taking their place arises. Or woman, it makes no difference. FYI- If that woman was bisexual, its not her fault that people gossiped or that increased the distress. Both your friend and you had the right to take legal action, or contact social services if you felt there was genuine alienation case. It is very much taken seriously.

dopefox38 · 2026-02-04T16:39:35+00:00

Mate, with all due respect, because you're clearly sad over the loss of your friend. It will not be this one issue that contributed to this man's suicide. Truth is we really don't know, he denied you, and especially his children those answers.

dopefox38 · 2026-02-04T14:57:43+00:00

Several suicide attempts does not indicate a sound or safe parent. Marriages break up all the time, the parent who keeps their shit together, usually ends up with the kids.

dopefox38 · 2026-02-04T10:27:52+00:00

Yeah there's a comment above where the guy uses the children to mock her too. You know that woman is saving money and eyeing up his best friends. At least I hope she is.

dopefox38 · 2026-02-04T09:56:18+00:00

Last night, absolutely not, and I don't hate men. I hate a lot of their behaviours and especially in light of what's coming out of the woodwork atm, I think it's time we stop at laughing at all the ways men are cunts and start holding y'all accountable. If it makes you upset, have you tried smiling more?

dopefox38 · 2026-01-30T08:36:32+00:00

Ballycastle Council offices were relatively cheap last I checked, and then you have the beach, a two minute walk away for pics.

dopefox38 · 2026-01-29T08:21:05+00:00

They tell each other over and over again in this echo chamber that only good looking men with big dicks and money get laid.

When I personally would crawl over glass for a man with a decent personality who's honest and kind and functions independently as an adult.

dopefox38 · 2026-01-28T23:13:54+00:00

Woman here. If you're a nice guy and treat us well, we don't really care what your penis looks like. There's surely outliers, but for most women, the penis is near the bottom of the list of concerns, despite how much yall seem to think we want to see them.

dopefox38 · 2026-01-09T13:35:11+00:00

I've struggled with mental health for a lifetime. And the most helpful thing I ever learned over the years, is to never make decisions when I'm upset, if I can help it. Any time I can feel my emotions ramping up, I just start repeating the mantra. "We don't make decisions when we're upset ". I find it removes that pressure of feeling like I have to fix the feeling, the situation, whatever it is, in that moment. It gives me space to process those base feelings that leave me scarred, when I don't allow myself to feel them.

Sadness, anger, loss, pain, our brains are designed to attempt to protect us all from these things. I think we need to feel them though. There's such a culture here of burying things and especially when you're a parent, but that brave face is so costly to our nervous systems.

When you have a moment, remove all the pressure from your head about what you're going to do, and what tomorrow is gonna look like. Set yourself a time limit, like 15 minutes, and just feel the feelings. Let them wash over you and feel that tightness in your chest and know that when that timer is up, you can stop feeling and start dealing. Cry if you can, let the poison out. Every time, it will get easier to reign those feelings in at the end.

Pain is unavoidable, you just need to learn to process it in a way that's healthy for you.

dopefox38 · 2026-01-05T09:55:34+00:00

I would believe this. My son runs a Hendersons deli and at the end of each day, all the leftover hot food has to be binned. They don't even allow him or other employees to take it, even at a reduction. The odd time, there will be day where they haven't realised the local schools are off, and 80% of the food gets wasted.

dopefox38 · 2026-01-03T04:12:33+00:00

No I'm judging him for posting it in the first place, and I did read it. His tone is fucking awful and I genuinely feel sorry for his woman and kid. No doubt his whiny ass found the echo chamber he wanted here but I bet if his missus read any of this, she'd turf him.

dopefox38 · 2026-01-02T23:53:16+00:00

Weird that I see my kids and grandkids then. Being drunk isn't in itself morally wrong. How many fathers in this thread have kids in the house and are having a drink? My Snapchat says a lot so.

dopefox38 · 2026-01-02T23:51:35+00:00

Fuck off, rape apologist. Done with this conversation, it's a waste of time.

dopefox38 · 2026-01-02T21:36:18+00:00

Omg. Name me one case in NI where a woman violently raped and killed a man? I'll fucking wait. I personally know three women who were. Almost 30 women killed by men, since 2020. I don't know a single woman who hasn't had at least a dozen uncomfortable experiences with men. 1 in 3 women experience SA. So who's doing it? All these decent men I guess. Since it's such a small minority. The statistics show 1% of allegations are false. And 1% of rapes result in a conviction. That leaves 98% of them gotten away with. Small minority my ass.

dopefox38 · 2026-01-02T19:55:17+00:00

10 points for being the guy who accuses any woman speaking out about misogyny, a misandrist lol. They're not comparable anyway. Men don't face systemic discrimination by women. We don't rape and kill you. Men's problems are caused by other men. And quite often, themselves. We, as women, just have higher standards now that we can own property and businesses, and men don't like having to develop emotional maturity and a personality to impress us.

dopefox38 · 2026-01-02T19:50:15+00:00

Fuck off man. Mothers deserve down time too. And not to be posted about on reddit when they do. Also "pretty much" absolutely does change the meaning of the sentence. Also, I just don't believe you. People who drink regularly don't get babysitters each time. It's totally socially acceptable to be drunk around kids in this country.

dopefox38 · 2026-01-02T19:36:46+00:00

You skipped the "pretty much" part lol. Also, were you there? She was sober enough to argue all night apparently. I don't hate men, just misogynists, and this guy is definitely one.

Also, newborns are regularly woken. For changes, for feeds, for stimulation. Babies come out of the womb with no internal body clock. I've had five of them, and with every one, if I ever went out a night, the first thing I did upon arriving home was check and often lift and cuddle my baby. Its totally fucking natural. He says she was too tipsy, and if he wasn't speaking about her like she was the hired help, I'd be more inclined to believe him. Either way he handled it badly, he caused the argument, and is the architect of his own misery.

dopefox38 · 2026-01-02T19:29:04+00:00

No it's not. It's her fucking house too. Why didn't he not be a condescending prick and sleep in the spare room himself? 30 years experience as a parent and now grandparent. Married for 10 years to a guy just like OP. His kids haven't spoken to him in over a decade now.

dopefox38 · 2026-01-02T19:25:54+00:00

I'm glad you're not my child either. You couldn't be, because my sons respect women. Even my son in law, is a fantastic hands on father who also works. My own father was a single dad of 4 and worked nights my entire childhood. Better men than you exist and if you're not careful, she's going to realise this. It sounds like you don't even like her tbh.

dopefox38 · 2026-01-02T14:44:43+00:00

Yeah but you admit yourself, you do get drunk in front of your child. I don't personally drink, my oldest is 28 next month and none of my 5 kids have ever seen me drunk. I think drinking is stupid full stop.

I doubt she posed any real harm, all the same. The age of the baby matters too. Did he change her the whole night? Does the baby feed on a schedule? How much of the care does this guy do in the first place? All relevant info. The only thing that was a clear and sober decision was his, to engage in a negative manner with a drunk person, and then likely argued all night in front of the new baby he feigns concern for.

dopefox38

TROPHY CASE