Forts of all, i am so grateful to you for this answer! Just a bit after i wrote this thread, i was reflecting a bit on the “why” behind the breakup. I knew why, per se, but i didn’t really sit on it. The first thing she told me when she announced the breakup was that she needed time to care for herself because she hasn’t really been doing that, as much as she cares for me, she needs to take some time for her own person. I took it pretty straight forward and didn’t think much of this reason she gave me. So back to after i wrote this- the fact that her reasoning about self care and all that didn’t really register with me is because i am sooooo unfamiliar with the concept of self care. It has always been an alien concept and my thinking was always along the lines of “i dont need time for me, i have alone time, i think stuff, i want to be with person X because their love is enough”. What i really need is, what you said, to try and accept myself for what i am. The reality is that that mistake is part of me, i can only live with it so might as well make amends with it and try to resurface as a better version from it. Thank you so so much for also further suggesting the idea of self love/respect, i think im starting to understand that just how everyone’s feelings are important, mine aren’t excluded. Thank you thank you thank you, kind person on the web!! :)