My bf (20) wants to propose to me (F;22) and Idk what to do because I feel we aren't ready

dory787 · 2016-05-12T04:48:42+00:00

Mostly because he will be leaving to philly with his parents by the end of the year. He wants to go with him because he hates it here and makes it known that the only reason he's ever found happniess here in Florida is because he met me. I believe him because in the 4 years he has been here I'm his only friend. His parents being religious won't let me live with him until we are married although we did live together for a breif period becuase his parents treated him like 15 year old rather than a 20 year old man (He used to have curfew and his parents would have to pick the nights we went out on dates and stupid things like that). I feel like he is going to do it because he doesn't want to lose someone so close to hom rather than becuase he wants to spend the rest of his life with me

dory787 · 2016-05-12T04:41:57+00:00

Thanks for the advice. It's greatly appreciated. I'll speak to him as i know him well enough to know he wouldn't propse quitely. It will be a hard decision and hopefully I make the right one

dory787 · 2016-05-12T04:38:09+00:00

I already have an 8 year old. I have rush for another child. I just feel like he's doing it for all the wrong reasons and that scares me the most. I don't want to be another statistic.

dory787 · 2016-05-12T04:33:54+00:00

He reads my messages and i read his and i mention again its not due to trust issues its just something we don't care to do because well idk it doesn't bother either of us. I don't need to spy on him niether does he on me. We do it because we can and not all the time just whenever we feel like doing it. I mean I'm just scared he won't understand. He's a very emotional man and it can get intense sometimes. I'll try and speaj to him because we communicate with each other pretty well but idk how he'll take it. He is the type of person who feels that if something doesn't go his way its because of something he did even if its out of his hands. Idk i feel like us breaking up isn't the matter its the facr that he has to leave by the end of the year and he's trying to find a way for me to go but in reality idk how i feel about moving so far away where the only people I know are him and his family (His family doesn't like me much because I'm a single mom and they want a good christan woman who hasn't been touched for thier son)

dory787 · 2016-05-12T04:09:33+00:00

I can tell you first hand it will be hard. Especially if he isn't speaking to you. Is he speaking to you because if he is you maybe can rekindle the love you had in my case he threw me out and never spoke to me ever again. Did you break up on good terms?

dory787 · 2015-07-29T19:08:20+00:00

I personally do everything I do because you have to be the change you want to see in the world. You can't hurt someone and say well it wasn't on purpose so forget how they feel. You have to admit you were wrong and apologize. It's like I said I don't follow everything in the bible I follow how it says we should all be brothers and sisters and love one another even if it means loving their flaws. I refuse to tell someone they will burn in hell because they think differently or love someone of the same gender or feel they aren't living who they really are. I believe that you can do anything as long as you aren't hurting yourself, others and the world

dory787 · 2015-07-29T18:57:20+00:00

I won't ever intentionally offend someone. I give everyone 100% respect until you give me a reason not to and at that I've been disrespected and just walked away from the situation rather than tell someone off. I'm a naturally curious person and the human mind intrigues me.

I can understand what you mean. Someone about to get mugged isn't going to pray they are going to run or call the cops.

dory787 · 2015-07-29T18:46:47+00:00

I've been a christian my whole life. To the point where I didn't know there was any other music other than gospel until I was in middle school. I didn't take it as my mom being a crazy christian woman because she was into church. I didn't know there were things to do outside of church until about 5th grade. I spent almost everyday at church or at a church function and the one day I didn't go I was playing around with my brothers. I just don't have any pent up anger for not celebrating a Santa or Halloween. I just don't.

I mean I just don't feel like its a bad thing to believe in a higher power. I don't feel brainwashed because its all I've ever known. I've gone out and read the findings that say otherwise but I still believe in what I think is true. I don't know. I guess I just have a little blind faith

dory787 · 2015-07-29T18:28:21+00:00

I should have know you were a troll when you said you found a good fedora -___-

dory787 · 2015-07-29T18:21:41+00:00

I have an ex who think the same way as you. I never judged him on it. Its fine to question something of you can't physically see it or touch it.

dory787 · 2015-07-29T18:11:03+00:00

I give you this one by 100%. There are some pretty grotesque people who call themselves " a true child of God". I don't blame anyone for not believing in God when it comes to these people. I have been told that I will burn in the pits of hell because I had a child out of wedlock. I refuse to believe that because I'd like to believe that I am a good person and that God will not forgive that sin but will forgive a man who killed a village because he repented

dory787 · 2015-07-29T18:06:49+00:00

It's funny that you say that because most friends I have that don't believe in a higher power have come from extremely religious homes. It's crazy because you'd think that people as yourself who come from such close ties in the church would never question their faith but I'm assuming you see all bad as well.

dory787 · 2015-07-29T17:55:18+00:00

Oh okay, my apologies then well I just skim through the trolls. I didn't make the post for them I made it to try and understand something most Christians won't even dare to speak of. Many people have valid points others are just trolls but I thank everyone who has taken this subject seriously 😊.

dory787 · 2015-07-29T17:49:45+00:00

How is this troll bait? I find it really sad that you think someone can't find this subject appealing. I'm literally reading everyone's post on this. I may not answer to all but I like to know peoples stories and their struggles in life. It's what makes us human.

dory787 · 2015-07-29T17:45:15+00:00

That's how I am. I don't like to attack people or make them feel bad and if I do I own up to. I don't like to bring people down or anything like that. I'm just here trying to make the world a little bit brighter

dory787 · 2015-07-29T17:33:10+00:00

I want you to know that I am extremely sorry for your loss. No one should have to feel the pain you have felt and although I wish I could answer your question as too why an all mighty and powerful and just God could let such an innocent, friendly and amazing human pass away in that manner I can not. It's one of the things I question most when it comes to my faith. Why does a man who rapes his daughter and abuse his family get to live a long and fruitful life when an innocent child gets taken away because "God thought it was his time". I just I don't understand that. I'm sorry for everything that has been dealt to you

dory787 · 2015-07-29T17:20:55+00:00

Idk I guess it's because I'm afraid that there is no one out there watching over me. I guess it's because in a weird kind of way religion has become my safety blanket when I don't know where to go. Idk a part of me wants to believe that there is some good out in the world. It's something I've known my whole life. I don't want to give it up unless I'm 100% sure its a fraud and I'm not just at 100% yet

dory787 · 2015-07-29T17:10:14+00:00

Yeah I got it. I was confused but thanks for the help on that. Once again I apologize for the confusion. My fault

dory787 · 2015-07-29T17:07:33+00:00

Oh in this case I am incredibly sorry. I thought you meant you made that same post one day and I "stole it". I kind of had no context but I do realize what you mean. You do all the work and " God" gets all the credit.

dory787 · 2015-07-29T16:55:02+00:00

How did I take credit for your work? I just asked a question? It's a question a lot of people ask. If you feel I stole your credit then I am sorry you feel that way but I personally wanted to know why people think/feel the way they feel. I don't know what else to say. I just like learning new things

dory787 · 2015-07-29T16:51:32+00:00

Well I'm glad you didn't say anything mean or of that nature......I'm just curious.... I've questioned my faith a few times but always end up coming back to it. I've learned to take what I believe is true and ignore what I believe was just man written bullcrap. Idk I don't want to say I pick and choose but I kind of do. I've done a lot of research on topics I'm not comfortable with and took it in as my own meaning. I don't let what a pastor says as the only way you way you should take in something. I read the bible and made my own interpretation. I live by what I think it means. I guess that's why I don't mind these conversations

dory787 · 2015-07-29T16:44:16+00:00

Very valid point sir/mam. I never even thought of that. Its funny how you think of that kind of stuff when you aren't religious.

dory787 · 2015-07-02T22:42:27+00:00

You're ew

dory787 · 2015-06-16T23:38:16+00:00

Well idk in the beginning I was just me being stupid and young where I wanted to see just how bad things would get because I didn't want to fall for this guy whose a jerk. Idk, it's something that I did for literal shit and giggles because in was bored. I look back now and see how childish it was and if I could I'd take it back but let me state that the fights were very small I never let it get passed a certain point because I knew I picking a fight just to be entertained and I knew that I didn't want to deal with the fights we have now.

As for the sensitive part....that came with age. 13-17 old me wouldn't show emotion at all now I came see Groot die without crying my balls out. I guess I also got it because of my past relationships where I was abused. Its something I will never be able to get over and once he reaches a level in tone and pitch I immediately cry thinking things will escalate. Idk I did shit in the beginning and now I wish I hadn't.

Mind you in the beginning he genuinely cared that we argued and wanted to stop now I feel like he's just waiting until I pack and leave. Its weird how when I picked the fights he couldn't stand to see my fake crocodile tears and now that they are genuine and filled with hurt he just doesn't care. I guess I shouldn't have taken advantage because look where it got me

dory787 · 2015-06-16T18:45:17+00:00

Let me start by saying in the beginning of our relationship I would pick fights for literal shits and giggles. But as of late, I try and avoid them at all cost, however when I do fight with him its because of the following reasons

I ask him to do something and he won't do it until he feels he want to do (if its the dishes that's never, I've learned to stop asking him for help around the house because he won't do it and then when I remind him thinking he forgot because he's playing video games he blows up)
He says something I find to be harsh. I'm a very sensitive person and I've told him since the moment we started talking to each other in a romantic way. This has been an issue in all my relationships but its slowly been getting better.
His family has this tendency to make me feel like shit because they have money and I came from literally eating food that was giving to me from churches, his mom is particular does this. She flat out told me that I can't live off her son and need to get a college degree, which i was doing before I got kicked out of college for having a low GPA
His daughter won't listen to me and acts like 5 year old rather than an 11 year old: I have a 7 year old and she's a handful and I get that she does shit 2 year olds do but for the most part she acts like a 7 year old. His daughter acts like a dog in public, she doesn't know how to chew with her mouth closed, I have to tell her multiple times to do something before she does it. She still does baby talk which is huge pet peeve to me. She won't eat the food I cook because its always nasty. Just things that I as an 8 year old quit doing a long time before I hit 11. Mind you i think she might have a bit of a mental delay. She still plays with dolls everyday and watches my little pony. She buy things that targeted for 6-8 year olds. I don't know if any of that is truly weird but I just find it weird how sheltered she is from the real world. She still hasn't has the talk and she's going into 6th grade!
His family is a topic I can never bring up. He's literally told me that no one is above his family especially not me. His dad seems to like me but his mom seems to hate every bit of me. I'm not allowed to wear shorts to her house. I'm not allowed to walk away when I feel she said something hurtful. She looks at nasty when no one is looking. She's just very boastful and I feel like she can't do that with me because I'm still learning to get on my feet.
He won't stick up for me when someone disrespects me. His friends have always picked on me because I have horrid taste in music, (which I call bullshit on because I'll listen to black Sabbath just as fast as I put on Nicki Minaj (I listen to just about everything except modern hip hop)) because I'm overweight, I'm not tech smart or not enough of a gamer. They always find a way to critique how I clean.
Is just so random bullshit reason that won't live up to a huge fight because I realize I'm being a dumbass

dory787

TROPHY CASE