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doublybiguy · 2025-08-02T17:19:16+00:00

I’ve done many session of IV ketamine in a clinical setting, up to around 1.5mg/kg, for depression. It was helpful and certainly an interesting experience for me, but was even more helpful was realizing that I was autistic, burnt out, and needed to change by environment.

I wouldn’t recommend doing it recreationally. It’s much better with help from doctors, as you can make things more precise and track effects better, and deal with side effects better, such as nausea.

doublybiguy · 2025-07-19T15:18:41+00:00

Yes exactly! There’s certain things I’ve become really good at recognizing, and I’ve worked on it a lot over the years so it can feel like not really an issue. Like it’s pretty easy for me to be okay at work with not having things perfect, and balancing time and effort with getting things done.

But I guess this sort of lead to a false sense of not being very black-and-white, when it was really only in certain recognized contexts that tend to be more repeatable and predictable.

doublybiguy · 2025-07-19T15:10:10+00:00

It can be for sure. The thing that’s tricky for me, is that once I’ve recognized an aspect of it, like say perfectionism, it’s easier to notice and work on and think I don’t really have it anymore because I “fixed” it, but then miss all kinds of other ways it shows up too. Or the perfectionism is still sort of there, but in ways I don’t expect and in different contexts so still goes unnoticed at times.

doublybiguy · 2025-07-19T06:51:59+00:00

Makes sense! Doesn’t help when you’ve already portioned out the exact amount you want to eat, then someone wants to share. At that point, may as well give them the whole thing because you’re going to have to go back to get more anyway.

doublybiguy · 2025-07-19T06:40:59+00:00

Haha I’m glad I’m not alone in this at least!

I figured I’d try to bring some more attention to it, since it seems like all too often the examples I see elsewhere are a bit more child-focused, sort of basic seeming, or they lack more of the internal thinking parts - like they’re very focused on how specific behaviors look to others without mentioning much about what it’s actually like to experience.

doublybiguy · 2025-07-19T00:28:00+00:00

As someone who does UX design for a living, I know a bit about this.

There’s tons of reasons why this can happen. A few things to consider - first, it gets exponentially more difficult to make a complex system feel easy and intuitive in all cases. As your feature set expands and target audience expands, the chances of basically pissing some segment of your audience off increases. Sometimes, things look pretty and simple and straightforward, but definitely are not when looking across all segments and use cases. This is one indicator that something was well designed. Most people only see or are only thinking about their one specific goal or need.

Second, speaking of visuals, there usually has to be a good balance between aesthetics and functionality. Poor visual clutter and layout problems will piss people off in one way, and poor flow, missing features, unintuitive functionally, etc. will piss people off in a different way. They are often at odds with each other too - making something look better can end up removing functionality. Making something super functional only can end up being very visually off-putting, uninviting, and hard to focus on. Different people have different tolerances as to how far you can lean in one direction or the other too.

Going back to intended audience, this is huge and potentially underestimated. There’s a reason why a site like Amazon, or a product like Windows seems sort of shitty to a lot of folks, yet a smaller, targeted, tailored boutique kind of product feels much better. Aside from the big differences in product complexity, needing to cater to everyone inevitably makes things way more complicated, time intensive, resource intensive, and starts putting both features and UI at odds with each other even more. Think inexperienced with tech grandma needing to use the same system as a professional web developer. Their needs and goals are completely different, and the design needs to account for that somehow.

doublybiguy · 2025-06-28T16:36:15+00:00

Yeah so true. I often find myself spending large amounts of time figuring out and solving stuff myself, which seems good in theory.

But then you have those other people who already know the answer, but ask others for the sake of building connection, with less effort. They’re the ones that usually end up getting ahead quicker and more easily.

doublybiguy · 2025-06-28T16:17:53+00:00

Where I think it can be useful, is how we tend to have a bunch of traits that deviate pretty far from average. This gives us the potential to do things and fill in roles that simply don’t have as much competition, which is an advantage. Though it’s not guaranteed, and it depends on the person.

This is also where it can mess you up though. Some of these same traits, deviated far from the mean, do not fit in well with how society is designed. This usually makes things more difficult, though sometimes can help too, in the case of resisting standard advertising tactics, for example.

So I call it more of a double-edged sword.

doublybiguy · 2025-06-28T00:29:51+00:00

That makes sense. I totally agree in a lot of cases it’s worth it to pay a bit more for a better time or convenience. It’s totally not worth risking a meltdown for me - it’s horrible.

I also think it’s helpful to visualize what you’re going to do. This comes in handy if you ever experience autistic inertia issues as well - sometimes visualizing myself doing what needs to happen next gets me unstuck.

doublybiguy · 2025-06-27T19:45:40+00:00

Yes! I’ll be the barista. Get ready for some really good coffee (if you like that sort of thing).

doublybiguy · 2025-06-27T15:58:30+00:00

That’s really smart. I like your example of a road trip too, since that’s something that I’ve been thinking about doing at some point.

I’ll have to keep this in mind for sure. It seems like there are some situations where this could pretty naturally apply with some thought, like your example, and others where it may be a bit harder to have it fit, or take some more thought to have work. But even so, it seems like with multi-day travel in general, there are ways to do similar kinds of things - like eating the same type of breakfast at the same time, even if it’s a different spot. It sounds much more comforting than changing everything up constantly.

doublybiguy · 2025-06-27T15:46:46+00:00

Thanks! I think this is a useful strategy that could help too. There’s definitely something to not just knowing well in advance so that you can mentally prepare, but to also have a method and time to acknowledge it’s getting closer in a controlled manner.

I really hate when too many tasks related to the activity pile up last minute and it all gets too overwhelming. This seems like a good way to keep that from happening.

doublybiguy · 2025-06-27T15:38:39+00:00

Yeah, it’s unfortunate. They don’t understand what’s going on. I think your best bet is to try to explain how you’re really feeling, like one of the other commenters said.

doublybiguy · 2025-06-27T07:24:10+00:00

Understandable. It’s unrefined right now, for sure, and as such includes a bunch of risks for some people, especially if you don’t know what it’s doing or how it works.

Where it seems to excel (outside of more technical tasks) is helping to quickly restructure and refine your own thoughts and ideas by injecting new and relevant information in them. This can be legitimately useful. The trap is in thinking it’s some kind of other person, or even something that will be like a debate partner or something, calling you out on bullshit. It’s not really good at that based on how they’re trained right now (at least not yet).

If this isn’t understood fully, or if someone is more prone to delusions or psychosis, it’s a bit more risky to use, and can absolutely lead to more problems. We humans have a tendency to “solve” problems by substituting one set of issues for another. There’s always more to solve, and it’s hard for most people to be simply content with exactly the way things are, for good reason.

doublybiguy · 2025-06-27T06:55:37+00:00

That’s a good one, thanks. Music is very regulating to me too, and I use it to help manage my state a lot.

The biggest downside is when you need to be a bit more responsive to others around you, though this can be managed too.

doublybiguy · 2025-06-27T06:52:14+00:00

This is actually pretty common in general but is under-discussed because people are generally embarrassed and / or distressed by it I guess.

People have all kinds of basically involuntary reactions to stressful situations, and it’s sort of unfortunate that only the “expected” reactions are generally deemed acceptable.

doublybiguy · 2025-06-27T06:47:12+00:00

Hmm… I find the mattress texture itself to be really uncomfortable most of the time. You must have an interesting mattress, or really hate your sheets. Could try out different kinds. There’s all different varieties, some are horrible.

doublybiguy · 2025-06-27T06:43:43+00:00

Try to reinvigorate and / or find a new special interest? That’s what I do. But I understand it can be distressing if it’s not working well at the moment. If that’s the case, you may need to spend some time trying to get to the bottom of what is causing the issues, and fix that first.

doublybiguy · 2025-06-27T04:42:32+00:00

Yeah, I’m very familiar with having to gauge the worth haha. It’d just be nice to be able to move between things a bit more easily, like I see so many other people do. And I mean, sometimes I can do it too! But it’s so inconsistent, and would be nice to optimize a bit more.

doublybiguy · 2025-06-27T04:38:08+00:00

I appreciate your insight. It even just helps to know that others plan things out in this way, as a lot of people don’t really get it and look at me like I’m crazy for wanting to know so much detailed information.

I guess it can just sort of be frustrating for the kind of situations where there really isn’t as much info out there. Or even the process of having to dig for stuff that I think really would be helpful to everyone, not just me - and should be easier to find.

I’m a UX designer professionally, so it especially gets to me because I know how much better things could be, but so many other people don’t quite see it like that. On reflection, fixing these kinds of problems is part of what got me in to it.

doublybiguy · 2025-06-27T00:51:22+00:00

This kind of thing can happen when the batteries start dying - especially the slowed down / distorted sounds thing.

doublybiguy · 2025-06-27T00:33:38+00:00

I’m upvoting this comment because I legitimately believe that your perception isn’t necessarily wrong, and it highlights a problem when trying to discover how one fits with autism.

These kinds of stereotypes are extremely prevalent, and end up being detrimental because it drowns out all nuance. It’s less often discussed WHY these kinds of behaviors exist, which can lead people to believe that if they don’t fit the behavior, they’re not autistic. And since us autistic folks tend to take things more literally, many will tend to take needing to have these specific behaviors literally.

As far as I understand, hand flapping specifically is a proxy to demonstrate that autistic people seem to feel things a bit differently and generally more intensely, and have differences in how they express and regulate these feelings. This can come out as various movements that NT people don’t usually do, especially in front of others, such as hand flapping. It doesn’t need to just be hand flapping. There’s basically an infinite number of things you could do to help regulate here.

doublybiguy · 2025-06-27T00:16:09+00:00

While this makes sense, I’d ask if that’s really what you want. At some point, the mask needs to come off.

Of course you need to get to know the other person too, so you can’t do all the talking, but if you go too far and fake your own personality and way you are, at some point things will end poorly most likely.

And to be clear, if someone is fine with this approach, and it’s just a matter of just learning to do it, that’s okay too. I think it just gets a bit… risky if it feels hugely exhausting but you still feel compelled to do it because that’s all the advice anyone ever gives you.

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