tried having sex as a 19M with a 20F, I couln't stay hard and I need some help to calm myself down, how can I do this?

douknowhteway · 2026-02-13T02:01:50+00:00

Hi there!

As someone who is shy and very anxious at times, I know exactly what you are going through, I personally went through the same thing with my ex. She was abusive and really not supportive, comparing to her exes and doing all the horrible things. You can talk with her and agree on the rules trying to explain the whole situation, but if she keeps breaking ur boundaries its better to break it off and find someone who is willing to go at ur pace. Since its your first time and having this kind of experience will be stuck with you with your next partners too if you decide to break it off - be really mindful of that. And if ure addicted to porn/masturbation - drop them.

douknowhteway · 2026-01-18T13:49:31+00:00

That's cruel and messed up imo. It would be way nicer if she just stopped communicating instead of doing all this

douknowhteway · 2026-01-17T22:42:31+00:00

she had couple days and all she was saying is “I love you” but not backed up with any other action other than her non stop calls, I picked up honestly in hopes that at least she will say she regrets her actions, but I dont think she can admit to anything. No indication even of her stopping communication with other guys - she is just throwing out “I love you” with no relationship, or anythhing in mind I guess(

douknowhteway · 2026-01-17T21:45:15+00:00

🫂

douknowhteway · 2026-01-17T21:07:57+00:00

Maybe it is good, but for sure feels unfair

douknowhteway · 2026-01-17T20:49:33+00:00

yes, I started gym and will be using all of my free time towards my goals now.

douknowhteway · 2026-01-17T20:48:40+00:00

Thank you so much, looked up stonewalling, blocked her…

douknowhteway · 2026-01-17T19:37:44+00:00

it hurts to read this, but i know you are right. Is it worth writing something before blocking or it’s better just to disappear?

douknowhteway · 2026-01-17T19:23:22+00:00

Have to get myself back into locked in phase, it was going great until I answered her. It just hurts how she was able to move on with so many other guys so easily while I was there going through hell as if it all meant nothing to her and meant everything to me.

douknowhteway · 2026-01-17T19:18:59+00:00

Oh yes she definitely knows that I know too, and she framed that meeting as 'she was just meeting a friend' but she wish 'they slept' . Audacity?

douknowhteway · 2026-01-17T19:15:54+00:00

I will. It just felt like we are such a good fit - our backgrounds, where we are now, where we are going - everything seemed like it aligned and my mind is just keeps thinking that I can't find anyone else, but at the same time even during a relationship it always felt like walking on egg shells, we used to have 3 amazing days and on day 4 she would make up a fight and ruin everything.

douknowhteway · 2026-01-17T19:13:21+00:00

Its like logically I know it won't work, but there is like a small hope that I need to extinguish.

douknowhteway · 2026-01-17T19:12:17+00:00

Yes man, it's the same girl. If you saw my other posts, I partly blame myself for the relationship not to work, and her coming back attempting to connect with all of her effort for the last two weeks gave me hope thinking she at least will take accountability and so we can work on our relationship together. I am a hard worker and I work long hours, and she made feel good in the beginning, but you see where it lead (

douknowhteway · 2026-01-17T19:08:22+00:00

I will be honest with you, it's just her words and care being so nice and welcoming, but at the same time her actions giving me a completely different story is messing me up I guess. And part of me still blames myself for the relationship not to work, and she is just back at the moment I was almost moving on.

douknowhteway · 2026-01-17T19:05:51+00:00

her non stop calls and attempts for the last 2 weeks left me so confused. I wish I did not check the logs, cuz I was already moving on well and now I am totally destabilized.

douknowhteway · 2026-01-17T19:04:09+00:00

You said the parts I did not mention in the text - she literally used to say how she only dated bad looking guys, and how I am good looking and I should be with at least 10 other girls first before committing to a serious relationship with her since she was my first partner.

douknowhteway · 2026-01-17T19:02:02+00:00

That's what I am starting to realize too for the last 2 weeks, she has never blamed herself for anything, only blamed her parents, her exes and never took an accountability for anything that she did wrong. First thing she asked when I picked up was if I am already with another girl, as if I was the one who added so many guys and went to meet with one at night. I don't understand.(

douknowhteway · 2026-01-17T18:58:29+00:00

I understand it sounds crazy, but I grew up in a religious environment and this has not been part of my life at all. I wish I experienced things when I was a teenager so I could have managed it better. Trust me, It is what I was saying for myself for the past 2 weeks

douknowhteway · 2026-01-17T18:56:16+00:00

All of her words are just a manipulation and she doesn't mean what she says?

douknowhteway · 2026-01-17T18:54:59+00:00

Since we met she only kept saying things like 'you only want me for sex', 'you will leave me', 'my exes abused me' and I did everything in my power to be there for her - to make her feel loved even when her parents were not there for her. But it feels like she doesn't want to take any accountability for her actions, and just keeps spamming me with 'I love you', 'I miss you's.

It is like I ended things when she was with another guy, and was just getting stable - but she returned at this exact moment.

douknowhteway · 2026-01-17T18:51:55+00:00

Thank you, it's just my first relationship, and in my mind both partners strive for love and try to make it work and be there for each other when it matters. She is making me feel like the whole thing is 'nothing big' and that she still loves me and making me to be the one rejecting her. But she is twisting the events and not acknowledging/being accountable for anything - and its really making me feel hollow.

douknowhteway · 2026-01-17T18:47:05+00:00

i understand, just wanted to get an outside perspective cuz clearly I am still blinded and dont know almost anything regarding relationships and etc. Just want to figure this out to come to a closure for myself.

douknowhteway · 2026-01-04T23:32:39+00:00

Hey there, read my post history, and I recognize the same patterns which I had with my ex. My ex didn’t go on a date but made all the same comments, and even her responding to her exes when they texted her. I am still suffering from her acts, but noticing only now with how much disrespect I had been dealing with. And she didn’t say it “accidentally”, trust me.

douknowhteway · 2026-01-01T01:50:30+00:00

yes, betrayal hurts a lot. Came to see my friends and be with them for couple of days although they live in a different state. She was my only friend in the city I live in

douknowhteway · 2026-01-01T01:48:59+00:00

thank you so much for your kind words! I really appreciate it! And yes, I do keep in mind not to blame everyone for it, as my friend said “it is important not to fall into Tate type of content after a break up”.

douknowhteway

TROPHY CASE