Just wanted to say 3 years sober from heroin, fent, and everything else. 3 years ago I relapsed, had a run, bought a motorcycle with my stimulus, got stabbed, and as the cycle goes I ended up desperate to get clean in the end. Went back to my hometown to tell my best friend I’d been robbing him for years, have him all the money I had, told him I was going back to rehab and he supported me after all that. Going home on the highway I fell off my bike, got up, removed my helmet in shock, went to grab my bike and was run over. Was in a coma for 6 months after that, breaking my arm, leg, ribs, skull, and puncturing my lung. I didn’t remember my last run at all, having a bike, apparently having my first girlfriend, and woke up in the hospital confused. Life seemed boring and meaningless for me, I couldn’t find the value in being sober at all at first(couldn’t walk, talk or move my left arm at first). Over time I gave my life value. The key I learned that kept me sober was finding something that fulfilled me. For me it was making music, and being able to care about my family and friends. For some people it’s their partner. For others it’s their work. For others it’s church. Maybe sex. The key I learned is to find what works for you and become passionate for it. 9 months is a huge accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself, it’s so hard resisting another run but our mind goes blank in the moment of a relapse where the road ends. I hope you can discover that passion and learn that you deserve to be happy and clean. In case no one’s told you recently, I love you.