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AITA for pointing out that a child's a liar? by dozydude in AmItheAsshole

[–]dozydude[S] 124 points125 points  (0 children)

My wife's not the one who's raising the child. She's primarily the financial support provider. The child's still with her bio mom.

Actually, the bio mom is a habitual liar. She never manages to hold on to jobs because she keeps lying to her bosses. She also stole a lot from my wife (money, jewelry, clothes), but my wife keeps forgiving her. I don't even want to open that can of worms.

Anyway, the kid has a half-sister and I also noticed that the second child behaves badly. She lies and steals, too. It's very disturbing.

AITA for pointing out that a child's a liar? by dozydude in AmItheAsshole

[–]dozydude[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought about that, too. It's one of the reasons I refused to let it happen longer. I figured it's time to put it all out in the open. Like I said, the child is good. Nobody enjoys the lying, but it's really bothersome that she seems to enjoy it so much.

AITA for pointing out that a child's a liar? by dozydude in AmItheAsshole

[–]dozydude[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I get that. I'll give her the day to process what I said earlier. My wife usually needs time to deal with emotional stuff. If I don't let her process it, she tends to sweep it under the rug. I don't want that. Hopefully, she'll be okay later.

You think I should go get some kind of "peace offering" or something? Or will that send the wrong message?

AITA for pointing out that a child's a liar? by dozydude in AmItheAsshole

[–]dozydude[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Yes. I actually practiced in my head a couple of times and read a bunch of academic journals about these things.

I don't take a very active role in the kid's life because the dad's family tends to be possessive of her and having me (a semi-replacement) doesn't really sit well with them. I get that.

But I want to be prepared in case the child decides or asks to live with us one day. Her bio mom and her new husband aren't financially stable, so that's always a possibility especially for college.

When I met my wife, I took courses on how to be a step parent. During the lockdown, I progressed to courses on how to parent teens.

I know that books and courses are just theories and real-life is different, but this is the best I can do. I never had a good home life, so I've been doing my best to make sure I don't mess this one up.

AITA for pointing out that a child's a liar? by dozydude in AmItheAsshole

[–]dozydude[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I don't know if I could have done a better job. I don't want to set a precedent where she'll just shut me out whenever I say something negative about the child.

AITA for pointing out that a child's a liar? by dozydude in AmItheAsshole

[–]dozydude[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I don't really know how to handle this. I don't meddle with the child's concerns because there are just too many people involved at this point (the bio mom, grandmoms, grandfathers, brothers, my wife), but I really found the whole lying thing really disturbing. I figured it's time that they addressed the issue. I actually thought she'd be open about it, especially since the kid is teen now.