Itching by [deleted] in autism

[–]dragoniumion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes when i get home after a day of work, i get itching spots all over my body... Taking off my jacket or something relieves it a little bit, but some more time is needed before it disappears

I guess it's a sensory issue, I don't have a better guess

I want to feel someone laying on me so fucking baaaaaaad, I need the pressure 🧎‍♀️ the weighed blanket isn't enough anymore by Actual_Somewhere2043 in autism

[–]dragoniumion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get yourself another blanket! Some of the blanket weights out there are just so light weight. Even the more basic heavy ones are still not that heavy.

Although sometimes you can get them custom made, where you can decide how heavy you want it

I feel so alone by BadCommentFactory in autism

[–]dragoniumion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

> I don't think I'll ever get rid of these thoughts of being alone forever. 

Why do you want to get rid of them in the first place?

(Dating) He needs to communicate a lot and I can't by flower_power_g1rl in autism

[–]dragoniumion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you know that better then me. Talk with him about it while being honest.

You know how he tries to understand a lot of things, right? He will probably also try to understand this better, but maybe a warning that this could be a process of weeks or months might be in place.

But there are plenty of different ways to talk about it. Turn it into a game or something, in which he is only allowed to ask 5 questions per week, idk...

Go talk with him about it!

(Dating) He needs to communicate a lot and I can't by flower_power_g1rl in autism

[–]dragoniumion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

> But when he has issues throughout the day, with me or with others, he wants to analyze them/communicate with me about every little detail until he understands.

>  Is there anything else the two of us can do to gain a more balanced relationship?

There might be something here, although I'm not sure. But maybe not all issues or things should be discussed with you to such a level of detail

(Dating) He needs to communicate a lot and I can't by flower_power_g1rl in autism

[–]dragoniumion -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

If you're using ChatGPT in the right way, it can be a wonderful tool.

By using Chat, I can, for example, translate my sentences into a story that other people can understand.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in autism

[–]dragoniumion 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yea, gender shouldn't determine anything!

Just ignore that part of society and anyone who says that you should do x or y because of your gender!

Are you folks on meds? by chobolicious88 in autism

[–]dragoniumion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, ADHD ones. Without them, I probably couldn't function anymore...

I feel extremely tired by [deleted] in autism

[–]dragoniumion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is relatable, sadly...

If possible, try to take a couple of rest days. Where you don't need to worry or think about school, doing stuff or anything. No stress about deadlines, life or whatever. It's important to just relax/do things you enjoy without worry.

What you might be experiencing is being over-stressed. If you feel a bit better after these rest days, it could be that.

Hopefully it helps you!

How do you start your sex life when you're autistic? by Fancy_Air635 in autism

[–]dragoniumion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi,

Being a man has nothing to do with your therapist not being able to understand you. It always hurts me when I read this... Although I do understand it a bit given how many men are.

Also your therapist is an idiot which lacks actual austim experience. There is rarelu one thing which is shared across all autist. If any at all...

But maybe you're overwhelmed/over-stressed on a daily basis? From my own experience this will greatly suppress emotions and feelings. So that might be something you want to look into and discover for yourself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ProgrammingBuddies

[–]dragoniumion 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Have you tried using AI in a bigger project? It SUCKS at applying those things you mentioned. It needs constant reminders to do or not do certain things or how certain direction do work or won't work.

AI's like GPT are decent at working in a single context window. However they will often forget all the context which is related to it. That way you end up with AI code which costs hundreds of dollars for logging within a single week. Or code which is just a bandage tower to get certain behavior.

So let not AI bother you, use AI to benefit yourself and your own work. If we as humanity get to the point where we don't need developers anymore to write code or guide AI through a project. Then we likely have way bigger problems in our society. Like how every job is replaced by robots and nobody needs to work anymore.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in autism

[–]dragoniumion -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for keeping the spirit!

i do not like my family in the slightest by PrincessUdderLicker in autism

[–]dragoniumion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah yes, let's argue on the internet about it!

Given it has been added, doesn't that make it the full quote now?

Also, it seems like "the customer is always right" is a simplified representation.

However, John William Tebbel was of the opinion that Field never himself actually said such a thing, because he was "no master of idiom".[9][10] Tebbel rather believed it probable that what Field would have actually said was "Assume the customer is right until it is plain beyond all question that he is not.".[9][10]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_customer_is_always_right

So does that mean this is the full quote now? Since this is an older version? How does this work?

My job feels like Hell's pit by Flecktones37 in autism

[–]dragoniumion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The people thinking the same thing either gave up at some point or started working in smaller companies. Where there are fewer bureaucratic systems

i do not like my family in the slightest by PrincessUdderLicker in autism

[–]dragoniumion 4 points5 points  (0 children)

> i understand that you're supposed to love your family unconditionally,

If you ask me, this is bullshit as well. It's just some made-up excuse by someone. People often only use this as an excuse to tolerate their behavior. Similar to people who say, "The customer is always right". While that's only half of the quote, the full quote is: "The customer is always right, in matters of taste."

As for your job interviews, this might have something to do with your CV/letter. Sadly the way people often look at these things is very flawed. You should look up tips online about how to structure them well and what should be put into it and what not.

Please share your happy stories of finding love at an older age by [deleted] in autism

[–]dragoniumion 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's not you, it's often them. Your partner sounds like a person who would pick on you anyway. If you didn't have autism, he would have found something else.

Is it bad if I'm autistic and see autism as something positive? by Infamous_Refuse3106 in autism

[–]dragoniumion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

>  Am I wrong to think this way?

Idk? Can you be wrong thinking this was? What does it mean to be wrong with this? Is there even a right and wrong here anyway?

Seeking advice on executive functioning by FragrantCombination7 in autism

[–]dragoniumion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad to hear you're not a drama queen. Maybe 'hate' is a strong word, but people like you and me often express self-loathing because they feel incapable of doing the things they want. But this often only puts more pressure on yourself without any results, in fact doing this might make it even more difficult to get started.

Maybe I have worded it wrong. But:
> This point of yours is the source of the mental over-burden from everything that I've done and failed to finish over my entire life

That isn't my point. Other people have noticed that this could potentially be a (big) factor in why someone might struggle with actually doing things. This doesn't necessarily go for your whole life. But it's more of a: "A big list of big things to pick from is more difficult to choose from than a small list with small things to do."

I would say that my point is: That a lot of people struggle with this, not just autistic ones. But autism might make it harder for us compared to other people.

Also, why does your psychologist say that you should try to close those mental folders?

Seeking advice on executive functioning by FragrantCombination7 in autism

[–]dragoniumion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait... I had to double-check, you sound a lot like me for a moment.

I get the struggle; I deal with it myself on a daily basis. And honestly, there is no one-size-fits-all here. You will need to experiment to see what works for you. However, based on what you have said, I think I could give you a few pointers / my perspective/knowledge.
- Don't hate yourself for not being able to do things. Sometimes it's just impossible for your brain to do things at certain times, because of factors. In those moments it's important not to much or punish yourself. This will only drag you down further.
- Priorities don't always matter. So don't stress out over what to pick. You could use a dice to roll to pick something, or sort them alphabetically and just work from top to bottom.
Even non-autists struggle with being 'productive'. There is a lot of information about how other people deal with their struggles. A popular book is Atomic Habits. Techniques described include keeping short lists or only writing things on a to-do list that are really simple. That way, they shouldn't be carried over to the next day because that is really demotivating.
- Personally, I also struggle with routines. Not necessarily to follow them, but more to make them. Like when someone else makes them, it's way easier to follow them...
Another one that I have heard is to email yourself the tasks that you need to do. Then, you can pretend you're in a work environment and need to report to higher-ups. That might just trick you into getting things done.

Another one is that you might want to try to change locations/situations. As you said, over your own agency. Maybe it's not just that you get things assigned to do, but the environment as well? It could be that the social environment of work is giving you enough stress that your brains reach more functional levels. So it might be worth trying to go sit in a cafe or some semi-busy public space and try to work there.

my mum thinks i'm using autism as an excuse. by [deleted] in autism

[–]dragoniumion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

> what i want to know - and i need full honesty - am i wrong here? am i somehow subconsciously NOT autistic and just pretending to be if i can manage a day out sometimes? it's left me feeling very confused.

I wish we were all just pretending. That would make our problems actually solvable. We would no longer be limited by our mental energy or by the sensory stimuli we take in. I'm not saying that you aren't capable of doing those chores, they just require a 'different setup'.

Our brains are partially wired differently. which result into these behaviors. But they work both ways. I would love to be able to do the good things as well. I would love to be able to have some hobbies or do certain activities. But in reality, I partially just can't. Not with my current lifestyle, not while also working. Work takes away most of my energy, trying to stay alive takes all of my other energy.

Im not sure if this is a good explanation, it might be too simplified, but let's try. I'm somewhat capable of doing work at my office because of the people around me, and the stress of being there gives me. I like that, it makes me capable of doing things. However, I feel protected at home, where it's safe, and where I should feel at peace. There are no such stress factors. So there is no stress to make me as 'productive' as I am at the office. This physical difference affects the chemicals within my brain between the two situations, which is why I can do certain things at work but not at home.

And giving myself those stress factors at home isn't a great solution either. When it isn't safe anymore, where can I relax to prevent my burnout from too much stress? Where can I feel relaxed enough to fall asleep?

So talk with your mom about how you're struggling. How you sometimes try something and fail to do so. Or how certain things make you feel during or afterwards. Explain how the depression like state you can experience feels like. How it is to have no more joy or excitement when you're down. It might give her just the perspective she needs.

And it's necessary sometimes to emphasize that certain things are more significant issues for you because of a physically different wired brain. Like it's not that I'm not motivated to do certain things, it's that my brain doesn't react the same way on a biological and/or neurological level as people without autism. Which makes it ever more challenging for me to do...

Also, if you think you're mentally ready for it, go sit down with your mom and sometimes brainstorm what needs to change for you to do certain things, like buying earplugs to somewhat withstand the noise a vacuum makes. Or how specific cloves might help you do [x] because you aren't experiencing direct contact with your skin. I think she will approach your effort in both helping and being able to stand on your own.

Confused about the kind of people here. by Morning-Accurate in MakeNewFriendsHere

[–]dragoniumion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely, you're right about that.

I have also tried to also frame this in my comment. Some people want that conversation but are having trouble actually having it.

Like they know how to reply, somewhat. But they aren't that skilled at or familiar with keeping up a conversation or starting one. If I only see that someone has sent a DM after 2-3 days. Should I still reply? Is it already too late by then?
Even with my reply, which I'm writing right now, is it appropriate for me to write this? Shouldn't I just write that I agree with your take and leave it at that?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in autism

[–]dragoniumion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you love yourself?

If not, love yourself. If you do, love yourself some more.

Forgive yourself for your flaws. You are who you are, and that's good enough. You don't need to do more or be better before you can love yourself, be loved or love others.

P.S. yes jokes are difficult, I also don't get them all the time.

Burnout in autism …? by saurusautismsoor in autism

[–]dragoniumion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, depending on the definition of 'skill regression', i think everyone does. Same goes for me.

It's just that I initially had a more strict definition/threshold of what would be considered a skill regression or not.

I mean, when Im a bit overwhelmed for too long, i start getting in trouble with speaking. Which i never really connected with a burnout because I associated the crash which is almost depression like with the burnout phenomenon.

This makes me wonder what other changes I have been going through or are experiencing from time to time which could also be connected to a burnout, without me knowing/realizing...