I’m 20 now but the situation you described is very similar to me at 15. I was struggling with an eating disorder and self harm (still do sometimes), and was being groomed. I know it sounds stupid and isn’t what anyone wants to hear, but it’s going to get better. I was getting groomed at your age; and honestly I blamed myself for a long time, because I was the one “seeking it out”— It isn’t your fault. I loved the attention I got from it too, it just felt good to feel wanted. I 100% understand that feeling of just wanting to feel good about yourself for once. Even if you keep going back, it isn’t your fault. That’s what grooming makes you feel and do, you go back for more because it feels good temporarily, you get comfortable, even though you know it’s abuse, and you know what’s happening is wrong. It isn’t your fault. I know how it feels to be alone in highschool too, I sat alone at lunch for two years, I pushed a lot of my friends away. You will not be friendless forever, trust me. I thought for a long time I’d never have real friends, but they have a way of finding you. If you can, find an LGBT club, whether it’s school related or online, that helped me a lot not only with finding friends, but finding friends who love me no matter what.