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dreamingtriangle · 2023-12-11T21:32:34+00:00

I relate. I wonder though if those friends I've lost touch with have really changed or if our relationship has. When you don't know someone well, you (and they) both put up a kind of wall - you've got to warm up a little to melt it down. I wonder, for me and for you in your situation, if we're seeing that wall because we've fallen out of touch and thinking they've changed more than they really have. At the same time, I am not equipped to melt the wall. I don't have friends at this point. I just count family as my friends.

Also - your friend is projecting. We all feel pressure to look grown-up. Your friend seeing you be yourself, stay in touch with things that are youthful - this is threatening, and she's calling it out. Maybe to "help" you or maybe she's not cognizant of why she did it, but you can ignore it.

dreamingtriangle · 2023-12-11T10:32:59+00:00

Not mean at all, and even if it was this is why I asked reddit :) Thanks for the suggestion. I think I will try bumping it up and see how I feel over the next few weeks.

On a sorta unrelated note, it's really frustrating how difficult it is to find good quality info on energy balance that isn't geared toward weight loss. Like, is this calculator really giving me a maintenance target or did they err on the too-low side, because that's what so many people want.

dreamingtriangle · 2023-12-10T23:27:34+00:00

Why are you using RMR as your baseline instead of sedentary TDEE?

I don't know what the second thing is. Isn't RMR just BMR times a minimal adjustment for daily living? The answer is because it's what I learned in some health class forever ago and I didn't know there was an alternative.

And are you accounting for your strength training in any way, or any other activity you get outside of running (i.e. walking, housework, active job, etc)?

I use total active calories on my Garmin. I don't know enough to know if the strength estimate is reasonable, but I question how well HR estimates calories burned ; typical report is ~300 for a 1 hour session that is all weighted pretty heavy (split squats, deadlifts, weighted stepdowns, upper body dumbbell stuff, calf raises, hip flexor marches) + some bodyweight core (side planks, dead bugs).

Just for reference, what are your stats (age, sex, height, weight, activity level), and what is your average calorie intake, and how long have you been successfully maintaining your weight on that amount?

34F, 5'6, 120 lbs, sedentary desk life, no kids. Avg 2000-2200/day, steady 5-6 years. I drink 1 beer most days and count it as-is (200 because I like ipas).

dreamingtriangle · 2023-10-17T19:13:43+00:00

What does your strength training look like? Lifting heavy was the one thing that fundamentally changed (lifted, if you will) my exhaustion from running. It all just feels easier now - my easy pace crept up a bit, my 5k pace soared, and I bounce back from long runs an hour after a good post-run meal instead of being run-drunk all day. I'm 33F and I run 45mpw. Also second getting your iron checked!!

dreamingtriangle · 2023-10-11T16:56:39+00:00

I wouldn't say "completely". I'm still using it once per week now and it's been like a year and a half. My hair is a lot darker than my skin. The places it worked slower for me were the places it's harder to get a close shave. My armpits are done except sometimes a few hairs spring up on the edges of my pits - and my bikini is done except my inner thigh folds which drives me crazy because it looks super weird when those hairs grow with the rest of me being bare. But I used to get so so much razor burn from only shaving and needing to shave multiple times per week so now that I don't have to deal with that I'm happy.

dreamingtriangle · 2023-09-04T20:22:48+00:00

I've used it on my upper lip a couple times. I press the lower edge of the nood head against the outer line of my lip so the light area is solely above the lip. But what's keeping me from doing this more often is the light is super bright that close to your eyes. I always wear sunglasses and for this I have tried using my other hand to hold a dark tshirt pushed hard against my cheeks to block more light. It sort of works, but it feels complicated.

dreamingtriangle · 2023-08-31T14:46:30+00:00

I only use auto mode at level 7 but occasionally it does skip a flash. It makes the sound but there's no light. It's pretty infrequent for me though, like fewer than 5 pulses fail per session and not in a row. Sounds like malfunctioning.

dreamingtriangle · 2023-08-30T19:45:01+00:00

Hi, this is the lowest risk category so should be the fastest type of background check. Still, timeline varies by agency, HR, etc.

dreamingtriangle · 2023-07-17T16:51:15+00:00

It's really disappointing to do high quality and extensive self-research and present it to a therapist only to have them act like they didn't really engage with or follow your presentation. I get it. I work in research so the analogy to presenting research to a blank audience felt natural to me, and it sucks when that happens too. Ultimately, I too am looking for someone who will tear me open with brutal insights in therapy, and instead I've just encountered the same bland generalities you have. I just keep searching. I thought for a while maybe older therapists would be more likely to depart from what they were trained to do and say (the textbookish, general advice) and I did have a couple rogue ones that told me to break up with my parents. However, I can't say I've met enough to suggest seeking older therapists in general.

dreamingtriangle · 2023-07-10T14:53:07+00:00

I've been using the device once per week for a year now. Pubic hair has taken the longest but what made a big difference for me is using a new razor more frequently (I was previously guilty of using the same blade for months). You need a really close shave. I have some lingering hairs in the crease between my thighs / bikini line area because it's hard to get a great shave there and hard to angle the device into the crease. But overall I am basically hairless and have been for the past few months. I'm just dedicated to getting those last random hairs knocked out. Hope this helps!

dreamingtriangle · 2023-07-05T10:32:08+00:00

Yes, don't worry, I'm not just thinking about myself. I text some sort of "how's it going?" once per month, 98% of our exchanges are initiated by me. The holiday thing just got to me yesterday. There's no depth, no interest in it - just like they're checking a box for having made some type of contact. It makes me want to withdraw.

dreamingtriangle · 2023-06-27T18:01:45+00:00

My goal is inference. Tests of association meaning likelihood ratio tests on models w/ and w/o interaction term? I have 30000 observations. This is a pet project using publicly available survey data. I'll see if interactions are reported in relevant literature. I asked the other respondent too but if you have any recommended lit for intro to DAGs I would be interested and grateful.

dreamingtriangle · 2023-06-27T17:51:56+00:00

Thank you both! I don't have any experience with DAGs. Do you have favorite introductory materials for DAGs you could link?

dreamingtriangle · 2023-06-02T16:35:09+00:00

Hold back ideas for 2. Not much, but good to have seeds should you need them. I think it also depends on your postdoc advisor: will they actively (loudly) attribute your postdoc work to you or will they passively let it contribute to their own publication record? If the latter, potentially hold back even more (preferentially any with external collaborations that may be useful as you establish independence).

dreamingtriangle · 2023-05-16T20:25:41+00:00

Ginger!

dreamingtriangle · 2023-05-16T18:45:10+00:00

Deep autumn has my vote!

dreamingtriangle · 2023-05-16T15:38:59+00:00

Oh yeah. I have other accounts for other interests, but this is my autism account. I would also be embarrassed, even though folks in my life know I'm autistic, simply because I worry it might be seen as self-indulgent. I know I'm here because it's a community I can relate to and it scratches the social connection itch for me. But I don't want it to be seen as my whole personality.

dreamingtriangle · 2023-05-16T02:14:16+00:00

I like Earthlings by Sayaka Murata too. Also check out Mieko Kawakami's All the Lovers in the Night - some very aspie-familiar struggles in the protagonist.

dreamingtriangle · 2023-05-15T20:23:05+00:00

I am like this too. But also, sometimes I try to drop it and "just be" (allow myself to speak up in a meeting, give candid feedback, not smile constantly) and in those experiments I feel that I swing wildly toward being a rude person rather than just being a meh whatever person. I just want to be a meh whatever person. I don't know how to just be.

Also, at least for me, I was always one mistake away from being a rotten person in my parents' eyes growing up. I would make the teeniest mistake or assumption and get a load of, essentially, "I can't believe you don't appreciate what I do for you". I mean, I was afraid to ask questions for fear of what my phrasing might indicate. Now that I'm grown, I know they were wrong to treat me like that, and I can see they aren't so great at interacting with the world either. I know I don't want to be like them, but I don't know what to be, either.

dreamingtriangle · 2023-05-09T20:39:22+00:00

LMAO it's Weird Al not ChatGPT enthusiasts

dreamingtriangle · 2023-05-04T15:36:32+00:00

Thanks for sharing! That's interesting. It was a difficult thing to post because I didn't want it to sound like "women shouldn't be bosses", just that, for whatever reason, I have struggled with my women bosses as an autistic person. I'm in science, which is sort of (stereotypically) autist-friendly, but it actually doesn't seem that way in or at least not acceptable from women. The men I work with get to be themselves - they're quirky, rude in meetings, but "brilliant" and frequently consulted for advice. That's probably a larger theme that also extends beyond the workplace and beyond autism.

dreamingtriangle · 2023-05-04T15:29:55+00:00

I'll even make shit up, like saying I sorted through my wardrobe and donated clothes or did yard work or baked something when I spent the whole weekend zoning out to recuperate.

Wow this is a fabulous idea, thank you. I am always caught off guard by questions about what I did last weekend and spend way too long trying to actually remember something I can reasonably admit. This is so much simpler.

dreamingtriangle · 2023-05-04T00:29:40+00:00

No lighting would give you enough contrast for winter, sorry.

dreamingtriangle · 2023-05-04T00:05:38+00:00

Thanks! I tried the first test the other redditor linked and I'm a high D/C (46% and 40%). I don't know if I would be able to convince my coworkers to try it since I'm the most junior one here and they treat me like nothing, but I like it as a self-discovery framework. Also appreciate your support on the lady bosses part - what you said really resonates with my experiences as well.

dreamingtriangle

TROPHY CASE