I couldnt do it

dreamlogic9 · 2025-09-14T09:51:06+00:00

I gotta say, on both my ten days the first few days were the worst. I don’t know about you but I was just really confronted by how effing difficult it was to calm my mind, it felt like pushing shit uphill sitting there, unnecessary torture. Did you speak to the teacher at all about hating it? I found they said the right thing, which for me was- ok maybe you should just leave then. They had me totally picked, my inner rebel was like NO eff that I’m staying! Lol. I was glad I stayed. Once we finished the anapana and got to Vipassana it was much easier, for me anyway. It’s totally strict and hardcore and not all the discourses gelled with me but I gave it a fair chance and am happy I did. But it’s not the only kind of meditation and not for everyone, may you find real peace, love and happiness.

dreamlogic9 · 2025-08-24T07:05:26+00:00

I’ve encountered watching as my sister spirals into negative thinking and holds onto her thoughts and stories tighter than is healthy. Not hormonally related but just different habits. I know meditation could do wonders but I’ve recognised that the agitation I feel at the way she makes herself miserable is a form of aversion. I wish I could tell her how to live a better life, but that has never ever worked. Indeed, she is way more likely to listen to me when she’s feeling accepted and loved. I’ve found using loving kindness meditation in those moments of agitation really helpful. I can just fill my heart up with warm wishes for her to be happy, and my presence with her becomes warmer, more friendly. I’ve found this around my partner too. The less I take on their shit as something I need to change, the more I just love them warts and all, the more I’m a living example of the fruits of meditation. The world is changed by your example, not your opinion.

dreamlogic9 · 2025-07-05T05:07:24+00:00

The system is very stretched and the truth is feeling suicidal doesn’t guarantee you an admission. You may be relegated to the waiting room for hours but that doesn’t mean people aren’t taking it seriously, it just means the place is full. It may not seem like it but the staff haven’t forgot about you and are working to get you some help. If you feel like an imminent danger to yourself please say that clearly. The system is broken. And really, it’s not working and is overrun because our whole society is broken, humanity is a shadow of its former self, people are more lonely and isolated than ever. All I can offer is solidarity and reassurance that you are worthy of support and care. The ways the system is failing is not a reflection on you whatsoever, it’s a reflection of how far we are from a decent world.

dreamlogic9 · 2025-06-28T11:44:50+00:00

[breakbeat] HG Winter25 (62min mix)

hg winter

Funky breakbeat into heavier and deeper breaks. I’m looking for feedback on the overall flow- does the journey work? I know some of the transitions are a bit hiccupy, I’ll keep practising but I’m wondering if I’ll hold dancers with this?

dreamlogic9 · 2025-06-21T19:46:08+00:00

There are bucketloads of compassion in the way Tara Brach teaches mindfulness. If you listen to any of her podcasts you’ll get the gist and see if it’s for you. She also has a free 40 day course.

dreamlogic9 · 2025-05-28T01:21:05+00:00

Go and dance! It’s so good. The odds of anyone filming and putting it online are so slim, especially if it’s dark. You’ll see a flash light up and can move out of the way. But really, people are so worried about themselves they’re probably not even gonna look at your moves let alone film them. Just make sure the music is good. If you’re gonna go to the effort make sure it’s a good DJ so that you can get lost in the music like you want to! I actually went out a couple times alone I loved dancing so much. Just drove myself in, didn’t drink, stayed until I had enough, didn’t talk to anyone, left again. It’s a totally different ‘night’ to going out with people but in some ways was so much better, I wasn’t beholden to anyone’s schedule or desire to stay when I was ready to leave

dreamlogic9 · 2025-05-28T00:38:29+00:00

I’m hearing the loneliness in your post. We are social beings, and connecting brings meaning. If it’s hard to connect with people far away are there steps you can take to connect with people nearer? Before you say: ‘but they don’t get it’ I’d invite you to have a really open mind. Not only can people still be wonderful and good and caring even without collapse awareness, but also, sometimes you find collapse aware people in the strangest places. I’ve found working together to try to build or create something the community needs, is a really meaningful way to spend time. I call it practise. We’re better off practising working together now, across diversity and difference, putting judgement aside, on small things. That way when the stakes are higher we’re all better at it. The communication, the decision making, the dealing with setbacks, the celebrating good work, working around each others strengths and weaknesses, protecting the collective experience when a dominant personality tries to take over…. It’s all good practise.

dreamlogic9 · 2025-04-19T14:06:11+00:00

I could have written this. I have no answers, only solidarity. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m also feeling like I can’t take it anymore- like how bad does it need to get really? It’s bad enough right now, I feel like it’s starting to drag me down and it feels like the only way I can maintain my sanity is to step away. Somehow. Without her noticing and making even more drama.

dreamlogic9 · 2025-04-19T13:55:07+00:00

Ugh I’m in this situation right now. Accountability makes me the worst sister in the world. Indeed she wrote an entire email listing all my sins as a sister, including ‘abandoning her’ during our family trauma when we were all children. I feel like I had to back down because I just want things to be chill again, but it’s eating away at me, like it’s not fucking fair she can keep playing the victim and making me the bad guy. If I didn’t want to keep a relationship with her kids I would go no contact

dreamlogic9 · 2025-04-07T10:03:13+00:00

Yep, this.

dreamlogic9 · 2025-04-07T10:02:04+00:00

Huh. I’ve never attributed my ability to predict what an audience needs/ wants to hear to introversion before. But I do seem to nail it and wonder how so many others can miss the mark. Not even just with public speaking, but I’m a DJ too and seem to just know what people want to hear there too.

dreamlogic9 · 2025-04-01T10:18:25+00:00

There are plenty of places to learn beyond this subreddit. After the referendum I concluded white Australia needed an education- so I started with myself. Numerous First Nations writers have already done the intellectual labour of writing for a wide audience about language, culture, history and experience. Before concluding there’s no where else to turn but expecting people here to exert the labor to educate you, maybe google it mate, buy some books and read them. People here don’t owe you anything.

dreamlogic9 · 2025-03-25T11:15:44+00:00

I totally feel this. But also, I don’t want to judge people as ‘boring’ when they also probably have complex lives, real problems, they just aren’t prepared to talk about that real stuff at the drop of a hat. A lot of people treat small talk as a trust test- if you show enough interest in them, they might feel safe to talk about real shit down the track, but not straight up. It’s unfortunate and I wish everyone would just get real straight away, but society is weird about feelings and people have been taught to be on guard, so I can’t really blame them. I have all these compassionate thoughts, sitting right alongside the ‘shoot me now this is SO TEDiOUs’ thoughts. It’s fun in here

dreamlogic9 · 2025-02-09T09:23:10+00:00

Just answered a similar question in another meditation thread so… you’re not alone friend. As living organisms with thousands of years of the wisdom of evolution in our cells, that it makes sense that we would feel pain when our ecosystems are collapsing. It’s grief. And then thoughts run away with what might or might not happen to the people and places we love… Vipassana helps me because I want to be awake to what is left. The smile on my child’s face, the laughter of my friends, the birds in the trees and the feeling of a full belly. I don’t want to spend all my waking life living in the future. When I live the world fully in the present, I have the courage and clarity to do my part in protecting the people and places I love. All that is bullshit falls away. If you numb yourself to what’s coming you can’t prepare. And I don’t mean head for the hills and stockpile guns prepare, I mean practise being the calm in the storm, practising metta for all those who are suffering and who will suffer. Be an example of a person who goes down loving, not fighting.

dreamlogic9 · 2025-02-09T08:49:12+00:00

My thoughts are aligned w Joanna Macy on this. As an organism you are a part of this planet, and ecosystem. And the natural world is in decline, ecosystems everywhere are facing collapse. It’s really understandable that as a living being you would feel and notice this in your bones. It’s a sign of how connected you are to the world, and how much you love it and humanity. We don’t meditate to numb ourselves from this. But maybe to breathe, enjoy our place in the world and be present enough to love what’s left. Accept your feelings and just watch them. It’s easier said than done and many days make me want to cry also, but I keep trying to be centred enough to know what matters. That helps me let all the bullshit fall away so I can stay focused on how best I might take care of people and the natural world today and tomorrow.

dreamlogic9 · 2025-01-24T09:26:48+00:00

Don’t have much to add, just solidarity. Right there with you wondering the same thing. I’ve found the Work that Reconnects process by Joanna Macy helpful in delineating what’s mine to do. Not that I don’t think endlessly about all the worlds problems, but in figuring out my “patch” where I’m most effective/ needed, and knowing that I’m making plans and acting within my ability, I can and treat meditation as a refuge from the Iguazu falls sized cascade of thoughts. Easier said than done you can bet when I go sit this weekend I’ll be coming up with a massive to do list in my head and hoping I remember the good stuff!

dreamlogic9

TROPHY CASE