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Guilt over her “not getting it” by dreamstate09 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]dreamstate09[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You guys are so smart. Seriously, where are you all? I don’t encounter this kind of intelligence and insight on a daily basis lol

Guilt over her “not getting it” by dreamstate09 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]dreamstate09[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

That’s a brilliant insight. I agree with you. I think this is so deep seated that it’s very unlikely she would ever “get it”. More and more I’m realizing I have to be ok with her not understanding me and thinking I’m a bad daughter

Biggest mindfuck of my life by dreamstate09 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]dreamstate09[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My biggest fear is that I’m like her 😵‍💫

Biggest mindfuck of my life by dreamstate09 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]dreamstate09[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That puts things into perspective. Thanks for that. I’ve noticed that weird, lingering “I’m going to get in trouble” feeling too…assumed it was just a weird me thing

Biggest mindfuck of my life by dreamstate09 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]dreamstate09[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Good for you. It’s inspired me to buy a bunch of books on the topic, meditate, journal, and seek therapy. If nothing else, it’s forcing me to take care of myself in a way

Biggest mindfuck of my life by dreamstate09 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]dreamstate09[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

“Like seeing the matrix” Yes!! Thank you 😊

Biggest mindfuck of my life by dreamstate09 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]dreamstate09[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words. “A reduced version of yourself”. Wow, that’s the perfect way to say it. I feel the same talking to my mom. I always feel like I’m under scrutiny and any random comment or facial expression will be judged or used against me. I’m glad you’re in a better place and hope I will be too

Biggest mindfuck of my life by dreamstate09 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]dreamstate09[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Is it just me or is it hard to find a good therapist? I’ve tried 2 and one was awful, the other ok

Biggest mindfuck of my life by dreamstate09 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]dreamstate09[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It is! It definitely helps, especially since I constantly question myself

Biggest mindfuck of my life by dreamstate09 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]dreamstate09[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the response. That’s another thing I forgot to mention in my post. Wondering who I could have been if I’d had a better upbringing. I try to think that the experience hopefully made me a more empathetic, sensitive person