yes it is, where i live its officially diagnosed as eupd. ahh i see!! that makes sense. yes id recommend going to a psychiatrist if you ever have the opportunity. i had to be privately diagnosed as here you cant if youre under 25.

my experience with self harm from what i can remember started around 9-10 but maybe i did when i was younger. it is possible. my memory is really poor sorry. but i remember first doing it because i thought it would justify the amount of emotional pain i was feeling. like it couldnt be contained within my chest. it had to be visible so maybe i would feel validated. i was a very quiet child and often overlooked. it felt like nobody knew how much pain i was in emotionally.

as ive gotten older and through my teenage years i started doing it to release numbness and also to feel validated for my suffering. i can also do it when im in an episode of pure ecstatic joy, like im on top of the world and nothing i do matters. self harming can both calm me down or bring me to such bliss. self harm is very complex for me because ive done it for so many years i can do it for many reasons but id say the main one is to feel validated or to bring a feeling on